Just today I was given a fright because the guy my parents are hiring to remodel our bathroom came to my house. My parents had been out shopping, at Home Depot I think, but they came home after the remodeling guy did. (I don't know his name yet, actually, haha. You'll see why soon.) Well, he came into the house, so I ran off to my bedroom, since I hadn't even brushed my hair yet, and now here was a total stranger invading my turf.

I heard footsteps in the hallway and the guy's voice calling, "Xiao pengyou? Xiao pengyou?" Literally translated, that means "little friend", and I guess it's something adults use when they're talking to children. It's one of my biggest pet peeves and one of the various other reasons I dislike the Chinese language. Okay, I know that you don't know my name, but please don't call me that. Just say, "Hey, you", that would do the trick. But don't call me little friend. Yes, I am short, but I'm certainly not your friend. (Well, maybe whoever's reading this is my friend, but you know what I mean, right? Regardless, I still find "xiao pengyou" to be a very irritating expression.)

So I was forced to walk out, and he asked me, in Chinese (Mandarin, not the Shanghai dialect), how to open the back door, since he and his fellow remodeling man needed to move stuff back and forth or something. I unlocked the door and then escaped before I could feel any more creeped out. I'd been against the idea of remodeling from the beginning, but I didn't count on having two complete strangers in my house for the next couple weeks. I tried to stay out of their way, but even when I was sitting in the living room with headphones on, I could still here the horrible sounds of my poor bathroom being smashed to smithereens.

The morning is probably the worst time of day. The remodeling workers come at about 8 am in the morning. I'm usually already awake before then; usually I'd just try to go back to sleep, but since I haven't got soundproof walls or a decent pair of earplugs (believe me, I've tried; I used my noise-canceling headphones but it was too uncomfortable to sleep), I had to wave bye-bye to get enough sleep. Sure, I could go to bed earlier, but I always forget or get distracted by something or other...I should really just set my clocks further ahead (some of my clocks are already about ten minutes ahead of the "actual" time).

The other really bad part about it is sharing the bathroom. Since one of the bathrooms is occupied, all three of us have to use the other one (at least it's good that I'm an only child). It's not pleasant when the bathroom stinks and you know who just used it. Of course, I am not free from guilt, either, in that regard at least...

I am sure this is going to be a horrible few weeks and I really hope it turns out to be worth all the grey hairs it's probably giving me. I don't mean to put all the remodeling folks out of business, but honestly, I think people should just buy a house that's already in good shape. Or a nice apartment. Just not all the chaos that goes along with remodeling.

Labels: apartment, change, chinese, choice, house, housing, little friend, mandarin, remodel, remodeling, scary, strangers, work, xiao pengyou, 小朋友

The older I get, the more I feel that there are so many talented artists around me. Back in elementary school, most people were only capable of badly colored drawings, often consisting of:

- Stick figures
- Houses that are just a triangle on top of a square
- Skies that are blue at the top but otherwise blank

By middle school it had improved quite a bit for some people, and by high school a few were drawing like pros. I find it funny, though, how almost every teacher I've met is terrible at drawing. The only exception is, yep, you guessed it, art teachers. The last art teacher I had, I think he used to be an illustrator. So of course if he wasn't a good artist he would've starved. (Well, maybe not starved, there are probably ways to get food...Like the lady I saw sneakily picking an orange from someone's tree because the orange was hanging out on the other side of the fence...)

Well, at this age, I guess people are starting to figure out what they're really passionate about and are deciding what they want to pursue, what they think is worth spending their time and effort doing. I know a lot of people who are pretty good at drawing, but there are a few who have really put in a lot of work and I especially want to point them out now.

One of them is my mom's friend's son. My mother just told me that he won the Fotodyne art contest. Apparently he spends a lot of time on a regular basis to improve his art and even goes to another city to practice sketching models (nude, I think, but it is important for artists to be able to draw the human body. After all, my art teacher said about naked people, "Eventually they become just another thing to draw"). If you want to see the full size version of his contest entry, click here. Actually, the style does remind me a bit of an artist on Pixiv. (Not that that's a bad thing. I greatly admire many of the Pixiv artists, wish I was more fluent in Japanese so I could understand more of what's there...Google Chrome's instant translate can be really confusing...)

As for the other person whose art has caught my attention, it is this artist. She has some very nice portraits in her gallery. Actually, a group in my Writing for Publication class last year made a documentary showing what three different people do on Saturday night. One of the people featured was her, and showed some of her drawings, as well as her practicing the guitar.

I must say that I really admire those who practice so much in order to better themselves. I've only ever had that kind of energy in brief fits, and I wish I could keep going at it long enough to make a significant change in my habits and my artistic abilities. I've been thinking maybe I should do something like the 365 days project, either with photography or drawing (or both!) so I'll be forced to practice at it every day. ...I just worry if I can come up with 365 good ideas... -_-;;

Labels: 365, art, change, contest, documentary, drawing, hard work, improvement, motivation, photography, pixiv, practice, project, winner, writing for publication

Perhaps you'd think that to be true if you're into astronomy, or something similar, yet different: astrology. Perhaps some or even many of you scoff at it, dismissing it as wishful thinking, a bunch of superstitious mumbo-jumbo that inaccurately describes your personality.

My zodiac sign, Leo, didn't suit me so well. When I was a lot younger, maybe it was true; I used to be a lot more outgoing, so much more fearless than I am now. When I was in 6th grade, one of the people running the YMCA afterschool care that I attended said that he thought I was more of a Virgo than a Leo. Always eager to find explanations for things (and usually unimportant ones), I thought, "Well, that's why I was born late, I must've intuitively known that I was not supposed to be born in the time range of a Leo."

I do like these sorts of things; back when I was somewhere from 5-8 years old, I was quite meticulous about filling out a Barbie birthday planner with the birthdays of my friends and stuffed animals (stuffed animals especially, as I had an astonishing amount of them, which have since disappeared somewhere in a room upstairs). The planner also had a small page about what the people born in a certain month are generally like, as well as examples of famous people born in that month. I remember that when you were putting an entry for someone's birthday, you could circle one of two Zodiac signs, since each month will have two different ones in it (July has Cancer and Leo, August has Leo and Virgo, etc.). I never really understood why it mattered at the time, having not paid attention to the traits affiliated with each Zodiac sign.

Then there came a time where I pretty much forgot about the Western Zodiac. I very rarely read horoscopes; the only time when I hear mine is if I'm bored and I see them in my mom's newspaper. But late last year, my mom brought home a book which claims to have descriptions of people born on every day of the year.

I have since become immersed in reading this book when I have free time, and although I suppose I could use it to try and understand my friends better...It could be horribly far from the truth (I know some people who fit their birthday descriptions so well that it frightens me, but I don't think my birthday description was quite on the mark) and I would not want to rely on it to judge people. Rather, I look at the personalities of each day and I use them to help me shape my own OCs - original characters. It comes in handy because all of the birthday personalities have both strengths and weaknesses, and of course, it'd be boring to have characters that have no negative qualities.

Even more recently, I read somewhere (probably Time magazine) that the dates of the Western Zodiac signs are inaccurate, and now there is a "new" Western Zodiac with different dates and a 13th sign. I can't describe it very well, so search the Internet for it; click here for one place that has a little info about it. What it means for me is that I'm now actually a Cancer, not a Leo, which I think is more accurate, so I figure I'll go by that from now on.

Cancer: Sensitive, sometimes indecisive, moody
Leo: Ambitious, self-confident, basically a natural leader

Labels: birthday, book, cancer, change, characters, horoscope, leo, new, OC, original character, people, personality, planner, signs, star sign, stars, virgo, western, zodiac

Not men, sorry, and I haven't watched that show, but that's nothing new. I hear about many things, wonder if I ought to find out what they're about, and promptly forget about them. I've recently tried to get back into watching anime (which was a lot easier once I finished the second season of Kuroshitsuji...It was disappointed, I recommend you only watch the first season) and have been adding to my list of animes to watch. Hope I can actually get around to all of them. Considering that more animes keep coming out, though, that's hard to say. (By the way, is the plural of anime "animes" or just "anime"?)

Well, anyways, it's been an easy week back at school, even though I expected it would be difficult - particularly because my real language teacher has arrived. She was gone for the whole first semester taking care of her twin babies, and I had no idea what to expect. But she seems nice enough, so I think it'll be a good semester, as long as I pay attention in class and participate more. XD And in order to facilitate the adjustment back to school, there's been some little destress activities going on during lunchtime - which includes free food, much to my delight - and one of the things to do was paint your nails.

This is an activity I have not done since I was in elementary school, probably around third grade or so. I do like the sensation of painting, and how shiny nail polish is, but I always seemed to get bored of painting them. (Not to mention we only had one or two colors of nail polish, and I don't know if we even have those bottles anymore.) But I didn't really feel like working on homework, so I thought, "Why not?" Two friends of mine painting a nail each, and I started painting a third one after trying to fix the other two, but ran out of time. So I ended up with a reddish-pink thumb, a dark blue index finger, and a half-painted aqua middle finger (which I have scraped the nail polish off of, because it was gathering in a strange blob). It looks rather lumpy now that it's dried. Still, painting it was fun. And I don't mind the smell of it, even if it's rather artificial.

I've been thinking that I should use the New Year as an opportunity for change. It always seems like people make New Year's resolutions, try to follow them for about a week or two, and give up (kind of like what often happens if a child gets the dog she was begging for). But I have been wishing that I could change certain things about myself - how I treat other people, how I manage my time, perhaps also how I look - and I want to make 2011 a great year (and after that, 2012, 2013, 2014...the rest of my life). Easier said than done, and maybe I will be like most people, giving up after only a week or two. But it shall not be from never trying.

Labels: 2011, anime, attempt, behavior, change, colors, forget, forgetful, incomplete, kuroshitsuji, nail polish, nails, new year, resolution, school, teacher

Although there's a show by the same time, I haven't watched it. I'm simply borrowing the name, that's all. I've often wished I could slow down time, stop it, even rewind it. But there's always things that need to be done, things that are expected of me or that I expect of myself. And when all is said and done, it's the end of the day.

It's been a while since I've gotten to write, so I certainly don't update this blog much anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm just shouting at a wall - seeing as there's no one left to read this except myself - but then again, perhaps the reason why I'm the only one here is because I hardly write anything, or at least nothing particularly of interest. I don't really have the urge to write anymore. It could be because I'm taking Writing for Publication and have written much more than usual this school year, so I've drained any creative energy I had.

Or maybe it's just gone to other pursuits, not necessarily useful ones, considering my capacity for wasting time without getting bored. Well, at least I'm writing for a change. Maybe it's a start.

I've just arrived home from a trip to China, visiting relatives, as is necessary every couple of years. For a long time I'd made up my mind to hate the country, or at least the city of Shanghai, which is mostly due to what memories I had of visiting it. What I remember is...

- Being forced to dine with relatives that I had nothing to say to and who smoked indoors, and gave me gifts that I didn't want, but could not refuse because that would be bad manners

- Not wanting to eat anything except for egg tarts, which were very unhealthy. I was not interested in Chinese food, and still am not, for the most part.

- Being given huge sums of money by relatives, which made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't deserve it, and my mom always tried to take the money from me (she insisted it was for safekeeping, but I was always suspicious)

- Rude people in general (being shoved aside without apology on the street, in the subway station, and such. And vendors yelling at me if I didn't buy anything.)

- Spitting on the ground (you would hear this gagging noise and some person would spit a blob of mucus on the ground. Yuck! At least my old history teacher had the sense to do it in the trash can)

- Being stared at (store workers that would just watch me as I browsed the merchandise. Not comfortable at all)

- Near-death situations (cars, bikes, and people ignoring the red traffic lights, cars insisting on cutting you off when you had the "right of the way". Pretty funny this time since an old man said a very rude word in Chinese to the drivers)

- A general feeling of uneasiness (because of how rushed the locals seemed to be, combined with cigarette smoke and an ugly grey sky)

All of these things were still there this time, but maybe I had a different outlook now. Or maybe I was just tired of hating it. I did get to go to Beijing this time, and Beijing was pretty nice since it had parks - and cats living in them! Beijing even had a blue sky, which astonished me. But it was way too cold, and unfamiliar, and taxi drivers tried to rip us off or would refuse to drive us because of the horrible Beijing traffic jams. I guess I'd become familiar with Shanghai...I'd been there enough times to recognize the sights and sounds, and I even found that I liked nighttime there (it reminded me of Las Vegas, with the lights XD). The place hasn't changed so much. It's me who has changed.

Labels: beijing, blog, change, china, comparison, consequences, energy, familiar, lazy, memories, night, perspective, rush, shanghai, time, writing

A terribly cliched phrase, but it's true. There has been that kind of weather, last night, and sometime a few weeks earlier. Actually, I was never really afraid of thunder or lightning when I was younger, but this school year, when there was a storm with very loud thunder, I was frightened out of my wits. I don't even know why. It's not like a blackout is really something to be feared. I feel like Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club. Or Nagi from Nyan Koi.

This morning there wasn't a storm, though it was certainly raining. I was woken up at 5 am, which is really way too early for me, even if I don't sleep well on a daily basis. It is kind of exciting, though, driving along a nearly abandoned highway and seeing the water spurting from the cars. I ought to have taken photos of the street lights or a certain bridge in my town that I am quite fond of. But I guess I was half-asleep and too lazy to bother.

Right now I'm at SFO Airport for the bajillionth time (I never started counting, but it's been many times, that's for sure). We're going to Vancouver first, and then we'll change flights to go to Shanghai. It would've been nice just to stay in Canada. But as my grandparents are aging, it becomes more important to visit them, and unfortunately they aren't going to move close to California. It might be easier if my family, instead, moved somewhere closer to China, like Australia...well, that's still rather far, but it's at least closer than California. And Australia's got some of my dad's friends. So we'd be in good company.

It's been two years since I last went to China, and I wonder how much has changed. I'm still wearing the same jacket and I've brought at least one of the same shirts. I haven't grown taller, either. I think that the things that have changed about me are mostly bad things. When I get angry, I swear in my head a lot more often than I did in middle school, and I find that I say "like" too much when I'm talking. I've seen on Tumblr that people turn into what they said they'd never be, and it's true.

While I still have the opportunity, if anyone is still reading this, allow me to announce my 2nd Tumblr! Yeah, one should be more than enough, but I have now made a division - my original tumblr, Serendipity-solstice, is for photography, quotes, and other such things (though not my own photos, that's still on my DeviantArt). The new one, click here for it, is for artwork, mostly anime-style, and it's named after this blog. Just a little tribute to Blogger for sticking with me all this time. (I mean, it has a lot less errors than Tumblr. I'm thankful for that, at least.)

I have no idea if Tumblr, DeviantArt, or Blogger will work in China, so perhaps this is the last time I write until about New Year's time. So, happy holidays to you all, and may the force be with you.

Labels: change, china, haruhi fujioka, highway, internet, morning, nagi ichinose, nyan koi, ouran high school host club, rain, relatives, same, time, travel, tumblr, weather

There's lots of things on this planet that are unique to it. The most obvious one is, of course, life, for as far as we know, Earth is the only place with living things. But having all this life also has its downside.

Like all the waste.

I'm sure you've seen some of it. Dog poop left next to sidewalks because dog owners don't bother to pick it up. And most certainly your own waste in the toilet. (I know it's disgusting to talk about that, so I won't dwell on it.)

And not just the sort of waste that animals naturally have to get rid of. Us humans have really changed. We used to live as hunter-gatherers. Then we figured out that we could use plants to our advantage by planting them on purpose and raising them until we could harvest them. Eventually we didn't have to think about survival all the time, so we were able to explore other things that interested us. We drew and painted, we sang songs and made instruments, we came up with religions and we tried to treat diseases and we came up with all sorts of inventions to speed things up. We wanted more time to ourselves. We came up with the printing press so people wouldn't have to painstakingly copy text. We hitched carriages to horses, and then we came up with cars, trains, and planes. We turned from writing letters to calling each other on the phone to emailing, and nowadays many people send text messages.

Faster, faster, faster. It's all getting too fast now, I think. I feel like there's never enough time. Everything is rushing on by. I used to be such a big fan of Pokemon. I used to await every new game eagerly, counting down the months and weeks and days. Now I don't even know about the most recent starter Pokemon. I got caught up in other things and didn't have the time to keep up with Pokemon anymore. I guess I gave up. Sometimes if I have the free time I'll pick up an older Pokemon game like Pokemon LeafGreen (which is for the Gameboy Advance. Do you remember when that was the main handheld for Nintendo, back before the DS came out?). But other than that, my old devotion for Pokemon seems to have died. It's only ever stirred up again when I see something on the Internet that makes me remember those good old days.

And since we always keep replacing our older things with newer stuff, the old things get forgotten. We leave them to collect dust in our houses (I am very guilty of that) or we throw them out. All of it really does pile up. We've got so much of it in some places that you'll see nothing but trash. The Earth is big. But don't forget that there are many, many people, too. And all those things we threw away and gave up on have to go somewhere. They stay right here on this planet. They don't magically wink out of existence, and it's not like we send all our trash into Outer Space where we can forget about it.

You don't have to become a vegetarian or never buy anything ever again. Just be a little mindful about what you do. If you see some trash on the ground or if you have some of your own, throw it away so it won't somehow get into a river and get eaten by a whale who will later end up washed up on the beach with a bunch of plastic bags inside it. If you see something and suddenly feel an urge to buy it, think for a moment whether it's something you'll treasure forever or if it's something you'll buy and never touch again. (I used to be pretty spendthrift, but nowadays I hardly buy anything. But that's mostly because I want to save money now so I can retire earlier) If you're taking a shower, even if it's cold and you don't want to get out, be a little braver and step out. (This is definitely something I need to work on.) And if drink bottled water, switch to a reusable one. I'm doing that myself in the near future.

If you have some time to spare on a weekend, don't just sit in front of your computer screen and go on the Internet, which is what I'm doing at the moment. When next September rolls around, you might want to consider taking part in cleaning up a creek or beach or some other waterway (I did that just the other day, for a school project, and thought it wasn't bad. At least it's fun to get to hold one of those trash grabber things). You'll get some fresh air and find some rather interesting garbage lying around. Just do a little something...To save the world, or to feel good about yourself, or because seeing waste is such an eyesore, or, as I would say, because you're alive and you ought to do more than just take up space. I've been doing that for all these years. But at least I can still salvage the future.

Labels: change, coastal cleanup day, earth, future, help, humans, invention, memories, planet, pokemon, speed, stuff, time, trash, waste, water bottle

Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It's a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I'm being urged to...

- Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I'm not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it's really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

- Make a "professional" email (I don't want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them - and besides, I figure I'll get spam mail if my real name is in the email's name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

- Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don't like the idea of that either, because it feels like I'm using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

- Stop wasting time on the Internet (that's something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I've already started to think of my "farewell" message. It's painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It's time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don't really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it's pretty much across the street, so it's nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, "Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it's all about studying." Then they paused, and added, "Well, it is sort of like that..."

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern...), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it's like in middle school they're preparing you for high school, and then in high school they're preparing you for college, and then in college you're being prepared for...Your job? The rest of your life? I'm not really sure. (As for when you've got yourself a steady job, I think you're just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don't see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I'm sure there's a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It's not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, "Eh, I'll probably end up studying something that isn't on the test. I'll be wasting my time.") But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I've looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I've read in novels really reflects the high school I'll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I'm not completely looking forward to it, either.

Labels: change, classes, college, crunchyroll, email, expectations, fear, first impression, future, high school, internet, judge, life, moral, preparation, quit, SAT, studying, teacher, uncertain

A few days ago, I dropped my Nintendo DS.

It's not the first time this has happened. I've dropped it several times before - on carpet and even on my driveway. But this was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

I can't turn the DS on anymore. It lights up for a short while but then flickers off with a kind of cracking noise. I've tried tinkering a little with it but it doesn't do any good.

I was hoping that maybe my parents might have an idea how to fix it, but they said that it was simply getting too old, and probably whatever broke was inside the DS, so there's no real way to get to it without taking the DS apart. (But since it can't turn on anyway, I think it's worth the risk to try and open it up so that there's a chance of fixing it. But I'm not knowledgeable about this kind of thing, so I have no idea what I would do even if I get into the inner workings of the DS.)

If I'd taken more caution and hadn't dropped it on the ground, it would still work. It might have served me yet for a few more years. I know that know one has the power to change the past. But I sure wish I could do something about it.

Maybe it's because I've never seen someone die or attended a funeral that the demise of an object can affect me so much. But maybe it's best that I never have to deal with the pain of someone dying in my life and that this be one of the few things that I've grieved over.

Labels: broken, change, death, drop, fix, funeral, impossible, nintendo ds, past

This past Sunday, I changed the time of my piano class, because my mother wanted me to come with her to attend a seminar being held locally. The seminar was about getting into one of those great Ivy League colleges, which is what most of the seminars I have heard of seem to be about. I was not impressed by similar seminars I had attended in the past (though my experience in this is certainly not vast; I have only been to a few "How to get into college!" seminars) and so I was very reluctant to go...I thought it would be a hassle to have to change the time of my piano lesson. I don't like to have my piano class later in the day because I think that my teacher in general feels more benevolent in the morning. (But my dad argued that she should be talkative in the evening because she would get lonely in the nighttime. Hmm, personally, I think by the end of the day she would be tired of teaching and would not be in the mood for side conversation.)

The lesson was changed to the evening, 7:45 pm. At the end of the class, I exited my teacher's apartment and noticed that there were some bugs trying to get close to the light next to her door. It seems that insects, particularly moths, are always eager to get as close as possible to any light source, even if they end up burning up in the process.

I feel that everyone is, in the end, attracted to light. Some of us may be nocturnal, but that dose not mean that we live without light, for even at nighttime, there is a little light, whether it be from the moon and stars or from something we have created here on this Earth. And as damaging as the light may be, particularly the sunlight, which can destroy our eyes and skin, we still need it. It's kind of a strange relationship.

I remember during my Yosemite trip in March that the nighttime had frightened me. The flashlights of the students kept blinding me and sometimes it was quite difficult to identify figures in the dark. I felt keenly aware of the dangers of tumbling into a ditch or tripping on a tree branch and spraining my ankle, for in the daylight it was quite easy to see this things, but in the darkness everything had an ominous aura to it that had not been present during the daylight hours. One time I woke up during the night because I drank too much water earlier and unfortunately needed to use the bathroom, and looking outside, I saw that there was not a soul to be seen, the lights appearing rather eerie as they shined upon the ground. It was peaceful, but in a way it was also scary, reminding me of a ghost town.

I wonder what it would be like to be nocturnal. Those beings who are surrounded by so much darkness see a very different world. Our world of daylight is bright, filled with color and vibrancy, in some ways comforting and in other ways overwhelming. But without the sun lighting your surroundings, colors fade, and your world seems to be in greyscale. You notice shapes and movement more than you do the fine details. It is harder to rely on your eyes when their capabilities seem to have been simplified. Every sound seems that much louder to your ears, even if you are not listening intently on purpose. You feel your way around to try and diminish the dangers.

Being unable to see the great spectrum of colors seen in light, I wonder if perhaps it is a harsh existence. Color makes things alive, beautiful...And you develop your preferences for colors, perhaps preferring the bold, passionate red, or the more soothing blues and greens, or perhaps you like the neon versions of colors. Or perhaps you like black, that one color said to complement every other. At the same time, without the light and color, you focus on other things, what you hear and touch and feel within yourself. With all these visual distractions during the daytime, I wonder if perhaps it is us being of the daytime that are missing out.

Labels: change, class, college, colors, danger, darkness, ghost town, light, night, piano, preference, seminar, senses, sight, sound, time, touch, trip, variety, yosemite

I can assure you that the President Abraham Lincoln and his story was much more melancholy than Haruhi Suzumiya could ever be. (Anyone recognize the name of that series? I think the anime was pretty known at one point.)

I didn't know much about Abraham Lincoln before I watched a film created by the History Channel in my history class at school. I could recognize him when I saw a picture, and I knew his nickname was Honest Abe, but besides that I had no idea at all...About what kind of life he had lived.

Abraham Lincoln lost many of the people dear to him when he was still young. I believe he lost two sisters (one of them to childbirth) and his mother. His father didn't treat him too well, seeing as he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps and become a man who used his strength to work, but Lincoln wanted to go and get educated and live the city life.

Abraham Lincoln also fell in love with a woman, but she may have already been engaged to someone else, probably making him feel guilty about the relationship. And then she died during a wave of sickness that swept through the town they were in. Lincoln was very depressed, thinking thoughts of suicide, and his friends tried to keep watch on him to make sure he wouldn't really kill himself.

What was especially unusual was that in the movie, it was mentioned that Lincoln could have had a happy life with a family if the woman he loved hadn't died, and thus might never have become the President. It's pretty bad for him seeing as if he hadn't been unhappy he wouldn't have been a great President there.

I thought it was awfully rude since they said he was ugly (my mom said that too). At least he's recognizable. I probably couldn't tell apart most of the Presidents. I can only recognize the more recent ones and George Washington. I don't have much idea about how the rest of them looked...

And what was also strange was that Abraham Lincoln dreamed of seeing his dead body before he was assassinated. Talk about a creepy premonition.

Whenever I feel down, I think about Lincoln's life and then I can say to myself, "I don't have it that bad." (Sorry, Lincoln, to be using your misfortune, but it does help to have something worse to compare myself to sometimes. I try to avoid it for the most part. I used to care more about my grades in comparison to other people but I don't want to be someone who is always asking others "What did you get?" or someone who keeps on panicking when a test comes. I don't even check my grades online anymore, so when people ask me what my score was, I can only say I don't know. XD)

I've kind of been thinking that I really don't know much about most famous people. I can't say I think about them much except for if I'm studying them in school. (For instance, I don't think I know who most of the musicians I listen to look like.) I've never been someone with celebrity crushes since I feel like they live in too different a world. Little to no hope of meeting them. Being as distant and far from my mind as they usually are (except for maybe voice actors/actresses for animes, but that's a different story), I know very little about their personalities, and so it is hard to picture them as people like who I see in my daily life. And I suppose perhaps as a celebrity it might be hard to really get to know people. How do you know that someone doesn't want to get close to you for your fame or money? (Unless, of course, it was someone you had been friends with before you climbed to the top of the pyramid.)

Labels: abraham lincoln, care, change, comparison, depression, dream, fame, famous, friendship, glory, grades, guilt, haruhi suzumiya, money, people, personality, president, recognize, score, suicide

Have you ever heard of that TV show called Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? I think I've watched it once or twice, not very much, but enough to get the gist of it. It's a game show, where a person tries to answer questions to win money. Sometimes the contestant asks for help from one of the fifth graders present. I used to be shocked by how little the contestants seemed to know. Like how they didn't know the epidermis was the outermost layer of skin.

But then again, I, having been quite a bit younger than those adults at the time, had learned the facts more recently, and since they were still fresh on my mind, I could recall them easily. Adults cannot remember all that much of what they learned when they were younger, except maybe the subject they teach if they are a teacher. My parents weren't even taught that much biology (there was more focus on physics and chemistry). And it's hard for me to talk to them about science because they learned the terms for things in Chinese, whereas I only know the English words. Well, anyways, there's no guarantee that they remember any history they learned. They still know how to do math, but they use it in their jobs (and in daily life - there is always that stress on "Math is important!") and I make them help me with hard homework problems, which are probably the main reasons for that.

I wonder if all these years of going to school are really worthwhile, then. If we don't remember much of it later on, what use is it to us? Knowledge is power, but if we lose that knowledge, has it not gone to waste? Or is it worth it to go school for other things, like the memories and friends we make? And yet at the same time it can be painful, when friends drift apart or fight and never make up, when friends move away, when you have difficulties in academics or in PE that you can't seem to overcome. When you have a teacher who seems to have a personal grudge against you. (Some of these have not happened to me. But I have drifted apart from friends. And many of my friends have moved away. I am lucky in being able to maintain contact with some of them. But I fear I might never see others ever again, except by some chance encounter. And what if I didn't recognize them? Because we had changed so much in our time apart?)

We still go to school anyways. (It is required by law, so I suppose it isn't much of a choice, but nevertheless...) We still take the good together with the bad. A few people do lose faith, lose hope, want to give up, try to end their lives so they can find an end to it all, have a chance at a fresh start. But as I heard in a school performance about puberty, "Suicide is a permanent solution to what may be only a temporary problem." And I suppose we all still have to keep struggling, keep living, reach out for the things we want, despite all those things that stand in the way, make you experience all the emotions you wished you would never feel again. I think it's something amazing, how there are still little things - and big things - that make it all worth it, that we can all bear our burdens for the sake of something precious.

I am getting awfully sidetracked. But then, that's not necessarily a bad thing. My history teacher was rambling about something that wasn't necessarily related to history, and then a student raised his hand to ask a question. The teacher said with a humph, "Great. You shouldn't interrupt me when I go off on a tangent. Now I feel like teaching again." At this point, we all groaned, since we preferred hearing interesting stories to getting an education. (I mean, hearing stories is a kind of education too, an education in life instead of just in academics.)

We didn't have much to do in science class at the end of the day, so a student said, "Hey, do you want to play Stump the Science Teacher"? The teacher asked how it was played. The student said that it was his goal to ask a question about any kind of science that the teacher would be unable to answer. He asked, "What is cement made up of?" The teacher said, "Well...What kind of cement are you talking about? Different grades of cement are used depending on the purpose. Do you mean our modern cement, or the kind that was made a long time ago in England?" and so on. I think it was more like the teacher stumped the student than the other way around.

Labels: are you smarter than a 5th grader, cement, change, daily, distraction, education, friends, game, life, loss, math, memory, pain, school, science, show, story, teacher, television, waste

That kind of rhymes, considering the way that Yosemite is pronounced.

I've been wondering for a while now why Yosemite is pronounced the way it is. It's pronounced like "Yo-seh-mi-tee". I think that's rather misleading. On the lost and found sign for the Yosemite trip, Yosemite was misspelled "Yosemity". So wouldn't it make more sense to pronounce the name "Yo-seh-mee-teh"? But I suppose what makes sense isn't necessary how things work out.

While I was at Yosemite, I led a very different lifestyle from what I live at home. I spent much more time outside moving around. I almost always wore multiple layers to keep myself warm (except for the times that I became hot from hiking and skiing). I had to get used to having a heavy backpack on my back (I know you're not supposed to pack a lot, but I brought anything I thought I might need, like extra socks, a rain poncho, and gaiters - I never even used the gaiters), since usually I use a roller backpack. I had to adjust to having little sleep and to constantly having dry skin. (But some of my skin problems weren't as bad at Yosemite. My mom says it was because I took short, cold showers, which is better for your health, not like the warm, long ones I take at home)

And all this exercise was a good thing. It helped me build more strength, and I was surprised at how long I lasted, even if I wasn't a fast hiker. It's weird, but I had a different sort of appetite at Yosemite than I have back home. At home I get hungry quite often and I end up eating too much (better keep me away from the almond crunch!), but at Yosemite I sometimes lose my appetite, while at other times I am just moderately hungry, and don't eat very much, but it's enough. And I had to eat celery, which I never ate back home (it's not too bad, I guess, I always thought it must be terrible since people eat it with PEANUT BUTTER and I'm allergic to that). All this exercise made me lose some weight and made me feel better about myself since I could eat more and know I would burn it off, so I wouldn't have to worry about rationing myself (which I've been doing unsuccessfully, I always end up with too much food in one way or another. Eating is something of comfort, after all).

When I got back home, I realized how little exercise I do in comparison. In Yosemite, we might stop once in a while, but other than that we spend a lot of time standing or walking or climbing up something. At home, I am indoors a lot, sitting down, doing some work that requires me to stare closely at something, rather than getting natural light, which is better for my retina or something like that (I can't say I know the specifics about eyes, so don't ask me). And I actually eat more at home, or at least it feels like that. I wish I could always live the kind of lifestyle I had in Yosemite, being active, and being in the outdoors. That's where we are all supposed to be, but us humans have built walls around ourselves, put roofs over our heads, surrounded ourselves with technology to make our lives easier. In some ways this is good and in others it is quite saddening.

I hope that I never forget the experiences I had at Yosemite. I think it may have been one of the only times I ever really got close to nature. One day, when we were hiking at nighttime, a chaperone told us all to turn off our flashlights, be quiet, and stand still. We looked up at the sky, and it was amazing. The sky was really dark, and it was speckled with beautiful white stars. I have never seen so many stars at one time in my life, because in the town where I live, you can't see so many of them (unless you go out late at night, which I don't; in Yosemite it was only maybe 9 pm when you could see all those stars). Humans have affected the world so much that it becomes harder to see stars, but at least now I know there are still havens, still precious places where you can see night the way it is supposed to be seen.

I'd like to get a telescope. With one, I could take a much closer look at the night skies. I have heard that there are times when you can see other planets, such as Venus, and I want to try that. And there's eclipses, too; I didn't pay all much attention to them in the past. But now I think I'd like to see one sometime.

There are so many marvelous spectacles I have yet to witness in the world. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to see them all. I once heard that there were two people who were hospitalized because of problems with their noses. One had his/her problem fixed, and left the hospital. The other had some sort of terminal illness, so he/she traveled and did things that the other person didn't do (and probably never would). Sometimes you have to realize how little time you really have left on the Earth to make full use of it.

Labels: appetite, backpack, change, eating, health, humans, indoor, life, lifestyle, nature, night, outdoor, pronunciation, shower, skin, sky, stars, time, weight, yosemite

That is French for "Circus of the Sun". It's really a lovely name. And I think the performances are lovely too.

While I was in Las Vegas, my family saw a show, the KÀ. It's a wild and exciting show, but at times also peaceful or comical. KÀ can be seen in the hotel/casino MGM Grand.

This is the second performing arts show that I've seen in Las Vegas that cost money to see. The first one I saw was Le Rêve, which is not part of the Cirque du Soleil (Cirque du Soleil has several shows, such as the O, Mystère, The Beatles Love, and I heard there's a new one, Viva Elvis). I think Le Rêve was a good show too. But it's a pretty different experience from KÀ. For one thing, Le Rêve has water, while KÀ has fire.

I don't want to spoil much of the KÀ for you, so I'll only talk about one part of it. There is this one scene where a prince and another guy are making shadows. It's pretty cool. They formed various animals with their hands. I'm talking about something like this (click here!). I'd like to try doing that sometime. I'm not really great with any kind of puppets, not to mention doing shadow puppets. (But I probably haven't tried enough to find out anyways.)

It seems performing in the shows is pretty dangerous. True, mostly people have lines attached to themselves, so they aren't going to fall and break their necks, but there are a few performers who don't have these safety lines, and they do rather risky-looking things. I've never seen someone mess up in the two shows I've seen, but you never know, accidents do happen...

...like car accidents. There seem to have been several in this area. I've never been involved in one, thank goodness, besides getting scratches on cars (and that's no big deal, since no one was hurt). But there really is death happening, even if you haven't been seeing it, people are dying all the time - and it's so hard for me to realize because none of my relatives or friends have ever died. That's why I have trouble sometimes feeling sorry for people who are starving in other countries. Since I haven't experienced it, I can't really understand it (I'm a seeing is believing sort of person). I might be starting to understand, but I don't know if I'd really get it. (There is, after all, a difference between just feeling sorry for someone and actually understanding their situation.)

I've been realizing lately how time is also passing, though subtly. I was taking pictures outside, and even though two pictures (of the same place) were only less than a minute apart in time, the background (the sky and clouds) was different. That's how fast clouds are really moving on a windy day. On some days, you don't think the clouds are moving, especially since they are far away and it is hard to see their movement, but they really are...

And I'm always stuck with mostly the same people as I move up through the grades. Sure, there are people from other elementary schools added once you're in middle school, but eventually you know those people too, and it's just the same old faces. I sometimes feel people act rather immature and really aren't any different, except maybe being taller, but really, they are changing. And the schools are different as you move up. Some middle school classrooms look like elementary school classrooms, but there are different desks (the kinds with the chair attached to the desk; at first I wasn't used to it and I tried to scoot back, but the whole desk moved). And although I wasn't too excited about having to go to high school next school year because it's only across the street and I will still be with mostly the same people (though I will see more of the older students), there are some changes there, too. We'll get to use lockers (we do have lockers at my school but most people don't get to use them nowadays), and we'll actually get to sit in chairs when we have assemblies. This is a major change. In elementary and middle school, we've had to sit on the ground for the sake of space.

And there is one change that I hadn't thought about for a long time. In elementary school, during recess, mostly the students spent their time on the playground, though some people played on the grass, walked around, or spent time in areas they weren't supposed to me (like me...hehe...I used to make mud things in plastic containers). But once you get to middle school, there's no more time on the playground. Instead, you spend time talking with your friends or studying. I guess you just get used to it. One of my friends has a younger sister who is still in elementary school. Her sister asked, "What do you do during brunch (what recess is now called)?" My friend said, "We just talk..." And her sister said, "That's boring." (Probably seems that way...I mean, back in sixth grade I just read books instead of socializing anyhow.) But I guess she'll adjust to it too when she moves up to middle school. It seems mostly everyone does sooner or later. People just accept the way things are.

Labels: car accident, change, circus, cirque du soleil, clouds, desk, different, KA, KÀ, las vegas, le rêve, people, playground, recess, school, shadow, show, sky, time, understanding

There's a book called Takeoffs and Landings by Margaret Peterson Haddix. Have you read it? ...Well, anyways, on to the actual post. (I actually wrote up a post while I was on vacation, but I saved it to my dad's computer. I might post it later if I get the chance. I'll try not to repeat myself.)

I've just returned from a trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. I have been to Las Vegas so many times I don't really have anything left to see there, but as the Grand Canyon is in a rather rural area, we can't fly directly there, so the second best thing to do was to stay at Las Vegas and then drive to get into the Grand Canyon. This is my first time visiting the Grand Canyon, but my parents have been there before, a pretty long time ago.

When I went to the airport, we had our boarding passes checked and went through security. There seems to be a chamber that I didn't see before. One person walks in, puts their arms up, and something spins around them. Then the person gets out. I wonder if this is the machine I heard about that blows air on you to check for explosives. My family didn't have to go through that, though. We just walked through the metal detector.

I kept expecting to need to take out my passport, but I was never asked for it. (I didn't even need to show an ID, since I'm a minor and they don't expect me to be stealing someone's identity.) I guess I've gotten used to flying overseas. So it's a little funny for me to be having a flight that is only an hour or two. Maybe I should travel more within the USA. There are lots of places I haven't seen, like Yellowstone National Park. And I've barely been to the east coast (I've only been to the airport in New York, basically. But my mom did live in New York in the past). I'd like to go to North Carolina so I can visit a friend that lives there, but unfortunately it's inconvenient. I haven't got relatives there. Sometimes I've wished my grandparents would move from Shanghai to North Carolina. But they're old, and they'd rather stay someplace familiar where they actually know the language, so it's really not going to happen.

This time, in Las Vegas, we stayed at Bellagio. It is absolutely my favorite hotel in the world. If there weren't people smoking in the casino, I'd say it would be perfect. I'm pretty sure I've already spoken of Bellagio in the fast. But I'll rant about it again, because it is really such a charming hotel. (It's got its cons, too, but more on that later.)

The fountains are what I love the most. There are shows every thirty minutes until the evening, when the fountains go on every fifteen minutes. Music plays, and the fountains move to the beat. I've never been anywhere else with such nice fountains. Sometimes the water gets shot up really high, as high as the top of the hotel (and that's at least 30 stories!). I don't get tired of watching it. The music's been changed since the last time I went there. (You still hear repeats, though. I suppose they don't arrange that many different performances. I mean, I heard the Elvis song Viva Las Vegas twice. The fountain show's not all that interesting for that one, though.)

Other things have changed too. The free shows for the hotels Mirage, Treasure Island, and Rio are different now. Mirage has this fake volcano you can see at nighttime. It is more exciting than it used to be (though I can tell that it's just water with color shown on it, not lava). I'm not so sure I like the change in the Treasure Island show, called Sirens of TI, or Rio's Show in the Sky, though. It seems that they wear less clothes, act more suggestive, and do more singing than they used to. I would advert my eyes occasionally. I think you should not take your young children to see those shows. I liked them better years back. (Now they're trying to attract young people to Vegas - and I'm not talking about children, either) They still throw free necklaces at the Show in the Sky, though, which I was glad about. I think I got all the colors of necklaces.

The last time I visited Vegas was back in 2008, at Thanksgiving time, I believe. Las Vegas seems quite different even though it really wasn't that long ago. There are buildings I don't recognize, like Aria and Mandarin Oriental, and shops that I didn't see last time. Expensive shops were opened, which I suppose I should have expected. I wonder if they get enough business, though. The luxury items may be nice, but there are outfits that I can't imagine myself wearing or can't think of a time where I would need them. And I already have a bag which works just fine when I'm going on a trip, not to mention that I don't really like to carry bags, so I don't have any need to buy a handbag either. What is the use of these shops, then? To make people feel good? (I heard that men often solve their midlife crisis by buying a sports car...) But anyways, I guess I really can't expect things not to change, no matter how much I'd like that.

Back to the title of this post. I almost forgot to write about it, I've gone on and on too long. When I leave for vacation, I feel relaxed. I've just left behind my worries of daily life and I still have the whole trip ahead of me, plenty of opportunities to eat good food, take good photos, and try out the shampoo of the hotels I stay at. But after a while, sometimes I get to thinking, "Oh no, when I get home, I have this to do!" or "What if this happened while I was away?" and so on. And my worries of everyday life come back to me, and I lose that nice, carefree vacation feeling. I guess I really prefer taking off to landing. When I'm landing, I'm really tired from the trip and I'm very impatient to get home. I'd like to go on a vacation and not have to worry anymore about what I need to do once I return.

Labels: airport, bellagio, change, fountain, grand canyon, hotel, las vegas, mirage, new york, north carolina, passport, rio, security, shopping, show, takeoffs and landings, treasure island

Goldfish crackers. The wonderful, smiling cheesy snacks. One time I saw a package of Goldfish and the part with the ingredients even said "Made with Smiles". As crackers go, I think Goldfish are really cute.

It seems like they don't always have smiles, though, despite their claim. If I can't get enough to eat from the rest of the salad bar, which is one of the lunch lines at my school, then I add in some Goldfish. I was studying them and I realized some of them seem to be faceless! What a shame. Those Goldfish must have a rough time in life, having nothing but a blank expression.

But then again, smiles aren't always heartfelt, are they? I remember having read in books how characters would smile, but the smile wouldn't "reach their eyes". It was only a smile of the mouth. Not a true smile. It kind of reminds me of smiling for photographs. If I don't really feel like smiling, but I still have to, my face looks awkward in the picture. It would look right if a person was caught while really laughing or smiling, though. I don't really like to take pictures on purpose because of it. I think it's better to take photos of life in the moment.

Sometimes it can be hard, going through each day. I still have to be strong. Most of the time I feel like I need to keep my troubles to myself and pretend everything is okay, when really inside of me it's all turmoil. And there are times when I feel like I have to let someone know, or I'm going to explode, and I try to let it show through my emotions, body language, and such visual signs, but I don't know if anyone is able to pick up on it. Most of the time it's okay. I can still make it through each day, one after another. And I can even enjoy myself. But I wonder how long it will be before my vase, filling up with all my worries and doubts, will start to spill the water in it.

Then again, this could be just another challenge of life. Perhaps it's something I'll grow out of. Just as some people who are allergic to peanuts lose the allergy when they age, I suppose there are some problems that will cease to be problems when you experience more things, different things, significant things. I wonder if how someone acts is influenced by nature or nurture. Are you born a certain way? Can you change it? Or are things just not meant to be changed? Is it a mix of both? It's still a mystery.

Since I just mentioned allergies, I thought of something strange. I just went to my mom's friend's house yesterday. The last time I visited them was a few years ago. Back then my mom's friend's daughter hadn't gone to college yet, and their cat was in the house. Now they have a different house, and the cat is in the garage. Apparently, my mother's friend's wife and her daughter became allergic to cats. Did they change cats? Or did they develop new allergies? I think that's really strange. I thought that once you got used to something, you would be less likely to be allergic to it, not more likely.

I'm going on to some other news now. On Friday, the musical electives at my school - choir, orchestra, and band - performed. The schedule was very wacky in order to make room for the three assemblies (since there are a lot of students, it's better to have three different performances, and one third of the non-performers attend each one). I attended the first assembly, where the choir, beginning strings (orchestra), beginning band, advanced orchestra, and advanced band performed.

The advanced orchestra performed the music to the film Spirited Away, which made me really happy because I really like that music. I think two years ago I heard it performed by the advanced orchestra at that time. And I'm a fan of the Studio Ghibli films. The other music played by the advanced orchestra was Palladio, which is apparently the music to a De Beers diamond commercial. Even when I heard it, I wasn't able to think of the commercial...Was the commercial really old? Like from 1993 or something? Or do I just not watch much television? D:

Labels: allergies, cat, change, crackers, de beers, diamond, emotions, expression, goldfish, mask, music, orchestra, palladio, photography, problem, school, smile, snacks, spirited way, strength

Sometimes I feel like that, and other times I feel like quite the opposite. There are times that I have the feeling of being on top of the world, like I can overcome anything, and that life is easy. But there are times as well where I feel as if there is so much out there and I am just one person, too insignificant to matter.

I mentioned in a previous post (unfortunately, I can't remember which one it was, so unless you're really bored, don't bother searching for it) that I live in a place where many people are fairly affluent. One time, my language arts teacher (who says she is poor, but I suppose it can't be so bad she must live off of freebies) asked how many of us think about the price of things when we buy them. I didn't mind when I was younger, but over time I started to care about it, and nowadays I don't really buy much for myself (except for a Galileo thermometer, but that's a different story). A lot of people said they just asked their parents to buy something and didn't really worry about how much it cost. I had heard that my town prides itself on having an average income that is quite high, or something along those lines. (Note: That doesn't mean everyone owns a private jet or a beach house in a foreign country, though)

I started to wonder, "Would us kids be able to survive out in the real world?" Well, my parents' friend's son was a student at both UC Berkeley and Harvard, and he said, "The experience you get at the schools is different. At UC Berkeley you're more left to your own devices, but at Harvard you'll be helped along." Basically, even the different colleges may encourage a different level of independence. I have been wondering whether people living a sheltered, privileged life will really be okay when they get out there into the rest of the world. (Well, unless they always live in the same place, or move to a similar place) I mean, there are 6.8 billion people in the world and counting, so there will definitely be a lot of competition - for example, people will fight for jobs, as jobs are not created fast enough to make up for the growing population and the bad economy.

And really, the world is filled with hardships. I don't think everyone can be so lucky to never experience them. Some of my troubles are physical, like when I catch a cold, or sprain my ankle, but most of them are mental. I've always wondered what it would be like if I had a different life. Like if I had siblings...Being an only child, I don't really learn to share or to take care of someone else. In fact, I don't really do chores besides putting my clothes away when they have been washed.

Today, I visited a bridge in my town. It's not a bridge over water, it's simply a bridge over a highway. I think it looks very nice at nighttime, though I didn't visit it at night. I walked there with my dad in the afternoon. There were several people on the bridge. No cars are allowed on it - only people on foot and people on bicycles. The bridge is practically on the border of my town and a neighboring town, so if you cross the bridge, you'll be in a different city. But you'll be in the same school district. There is a high school right next to the other end of the bridge. I would like to be able to go that high school. (The high school I will probably be going to is a very highly ranked one in academic terms, though, and the high school next to the bridge is...not so much) It would be so charming, living next to the bridge and walking across it to go to school. Quite picturesque. Some people would be bothered by the highway noise, but I don't think it would be too much of a problem for me (as long as there aren't too many police chases and ambulances at nighttime).

I wonder what I ought to do. Should I accept my fate, because destiny cannot be altered? Or should I fight against it, fight to change it, and make a life for myself? Is it better to be the blade of grass, which bends but doesn't break, or like bamboo, which prefers to break than bend? Is it better to go with the flow or to make ripples in the water? I wonder about that.

Oh, before I end this post, I would like to explain why I was thinking of fish in the beginning of the post. It was because of something I saw in the December edition of Reader's Digest. There was a complaint someone made to a travel agent. The person said, "No one told us there were fish in the ocean. The children were startled." Wow. I guess there are many different people.

Labels: bamboo, berkeley, bridge, change, college, competition, destiny, feelings, fish, grass, harvard, high school, money, only child, readers digest, spending, survival

There's no need to be concerned, because I don't gamble. I once tried to in the Venetian hotel quite a few years ago, when my mom and I were eating dinner at a restaurant inside the casino, and I wanted to press one of the buttons on a nearby slot machine, but then a worker came by and said I couldn't. How disappointing. Slot machines make cool noises, kind of like the newer checkout machines at the local library.

The inspiration for my blog post and title today was cars. Yup, cars. I often see doubles of the same car. Today when going to school, in front of my car were two Lexus (dunno what the plural form is...Lexuses? o_O;; ). They were the same exact kind except for the color.

And there are a lot of Subaru Foresters, I have discovered. I have seen a couple of them in my area, same color and everything. And one time I came with my mom to work at her office since there was no one to watch me at home (and I have no siblings, so I am not trusted to stay by myself, except for this summer when I was doing just that). Well, my mom had parked her car next to another Subaru. It was also a Forester except it was a black one. I know they have to sell a lot of a kind of car or they would discontinue making them but I still get amazed if I see the same kind of car. I see the Mercedes we have hidden in our garage sometimes too.

There are a lot of twins, too. A pair of twins who are both geography whizzes are in my village this year, along with a girl who apparently has a twin (but I haven't quite figured out who her twin is. I assume she has to be in the school somewhere). Maybe there's more twins in my village that I didn't notice yet.

Anyhow, on to other news. The blog layout has been changed since unfortunately the one I had in mind isn't working as well as would be nice. So maybe I'll just try and format it for Nutrinopets or something, because I often use blog layouts for my profile there. This time I got it from createblog.com, which has Blogger layouts, though I still prefer to go to blogskins.com most of the time. I thought the toast was very charming. And I really like bread. XD

I've moved my playlist and it is now underneath the posts, at the bottom of the page. It will autostart so pause it or turn off your sound or turn off the playlist's sound if you don't want to hear it. There's also a Youtube video so you can have images and sound together if you would like. I picked out Colorless Wind sung by Yuuki Aira, which is the Sola anime opening. It's one of my favorite songs. (There was another song I wanted to put up but I couldn't find it...Sigh...)

Labels: automobile, blog, car, casino, change, colorless wind, forester, gambling, las vegas, layout, lexus, mercedes, playlist, slot machines, subaru, toast, venetian, video, youtube, yuuki aira

That's a phrase which basically means "sleeping". Lately I've been able to sleep more since the weather is mild - not too hot and not too cold. Though I fall asleep around 11 pm, I wake up around 9 am (I have to get up then anyhow because of my summer classes) so I'm getting more sleep than during the regular school year (when I have to wake up before 8 am). It's made me feel a little more energetic, even if not too big a difference, and I'm glad of it. Maybe I could actually grow taller, something that has not been happening to me for a while...

...though one of my friends seems to have no problem growing. She's now increased her lead over me (Wow, when I talk like this, it sounds like swimming in the Olympics or something) and besides that my parents say they think she has lost some weight to boot. Her sister just looks kind of the same as always. It's probably because she has taller parents whereas my parents are kind of on the short side. My dad insists it's my mom's fault and my mom retorts that he's not exactly very tall himself...

I think my mom has way too many co-workers, classmates, and other assortments of acquaintances. She often goes a-visiting with them, and apparently she knows someone in Sydney, Australia who offered to take us around the city for a day. Even my dad seems to know a few people in Australia. (I guess it's because he used to live there and he was the only one who moved away? And that was because my mom "dragged "him) I wonder how my parents keep track of them all, but then again, it's not like they know my classmates, just like I don't really know their fellow people at work (unless I hear about them enough times).

I heard that my grandfather used to learn Japanese in school, which came as a surprise to me. I think it was because of something to do with Japanese were taking over China... He still knows a little bit, but it's kind of like my dad - my dad claims he knows German, but he really can only count from 1-10 by now.

We've had another death at my house recently. My blue balloon, which had the Earth drawn on it with Sharpie marker and which was hanging from a cord of the ceiling fan, popped all of a sudden, though it seemed like nothing was wrong with it. My mom says the over time the balloon's "skin" grew thinner until at last it couldn't handle it anymore. Something like that. I don't know very much of these matters, so if you understand it, let me know. Anyhow, it's a shame not to see that balloon hanging in my room anymore...It lived for a month.

When I went to the supermarket with my parents just the other day, I saw some chocolate milk buns - the kind that come six to a package which you can steam at home - and I was enraptured. It had such a beautiful brown swirly pattern. So my parents said we should buy them - though I tried to say "I'll use my allowance" (I barely keep track of it anymore. Ha, ha) - and when we were checking out, the cashier said "$1.99!" emphatically. My parents say that the cashier must've thought that was expensive. I thought, "Oh no! Maybe it is a bad deal to get only six buns for that price!" But still, there is nothing as cute as that among the buns at the supermarket.

Labels: acquaintance, balloon, bun, change, connection, death, food, german, growing, height, japanese, language, popped, relatives, rest, sleep, spending money, supermarket, temperature

That's what I can infer from comparing two houses that I see on my route home. One of them has a dark reddish door with a long oval of fancy glass in it. It is two stories and has a front yard. Originally the house looked quite different, what with so many weeds in the yard it looked scary. Now it has been repainted orange and green and all the weeds were pulled up so it's just an expanse of brown dirt. Whoever lives there is definitely quite active when it comes to their house since it is changing a lot.

But the other house is a white one with a door built into a corner and some columns, and another gate and door into the house. One time when I went by there was a man standing on the second floor balcony and yelling at someone. Today when I passed the house there was a bunch of newspapers on the driveway. Some had yellowish pages and others had white pages. I know one of the newspapers was the Wall Street Journal. I wonder if the house's owner has been out since it seems like the newspapers haven't even been unbound from the rubber bands which are used to hold them in the "suitable for smacking insects and smacking other people" position.

I am recently reading a book called Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. The main character wants to be an actress and so this tells of her dealing with her archenemy at school, among other matters. One of my friends had no book to read so she read mine instead. She said that the main character lied a lot. I remember last year my language arts teacher said that you should write about what is familiar to you. I suppose the author may have had a big mouth when she was younger, then. XD And no, I don't mean big mouths like those commercials they used to have on television.

Due to this being STAR testing time, we have had a weird schedule what with about two hours for "testing" and class periods roughly thirty minutes each. Plus, this means the schedule looks like this instead, as what happens with assemblies (like bike safety, and such).
STAR Testing
20 minutes for brunch
1st Period
2nd Period
3rd Period
Lunch (about 40 minutes?)
4th Period
5th Period
6th Period

This is bad since I have 4th period PE and must run after eating. Seeing as these days I get nauseous easily it is rather dangerous. Luckily I can usually hold back urges to throw up if I drink some water. (Even the school's water fountains taste better in this case XD)

Just a few seconds ago I heard the sound of someone rapping on the door. I never answer the door because my parents have keys/garage door openers so they would break into the house or open the garage, not knock or ring the doorbell. I bet it's more solicitors. My parents put these stickers on the door to try and keep people away since they never like telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen (they always say "We're not interested. Please don't call again" and stuff like that) but it seems like people usually disregard it anyways. I actually feel bad for them, though my parents don't understand why I think so.

Labels: books, change, comparison, house, lie, nausea, newspaper, schedule, solicitor, STAR testing, telemarketer

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