Interpret the meaning of that however you want. I love having titles with multiple layers of meaning. I guess my Writing for Publication class really is seeping into the rest of my life.

Well, one of my friends, thefalse-tto, seems to enjoy being written about, so I suppose I'll inflate her ego a bit more (no offense intended, if she is reading this). She was telling me about how before she'd made a "persona" on the Internet, which means that she basically made a whole identity for herself.

She managed to convince people that she was a 17-year-old boy living in Korea, and she explained that she knew English because you have to learn in there (which is true) and that she knew Chinese because you had to learn another language besides English and Korean (apparently also true; first time I've heard it, but it doesn't surprise me). I think it'd be pretty fun to try doing that myself. All I've done so far is stop showing my gender one or two of my accounts...but then again, I bet they already saw that I was female before I hid it. Or they can tell from the way I speak and the kind of pictures I have on my profiles/blogs/etc.

But then again, maybe not. It might not take much to convince people I'm the opposite gender or that I'm a different age or anything I feel like. I've done it before by accident; when I was in 7th grade, people on a forum I used to visit said they thought I was in high school or college because I apparently sounded mature (well, most people speak with tons of smilies and chatspeak, so I guess I seem really old in comparison. I don't know about you, but I estimate people's ages based on what they type). And there was a really funny incident many years ago on Club Penguin: Some girl thought I was a guy, so she kept having her penguin make those emoticons that look like a heart is breaking. Concerned, I asked her what was wrong, and then somehow or other we ended up going to my penguin's igloo. Well, eventually I said I was a girl and she said "You lied" and left. I was really flabbergasted at the time, and even angry, because I never said that I was male. But now I just find it hilarious. Isn't it funny how people are trying to flirt using a kids site where everyone is a bird?

Anyways, I don't really like to lie about my information, because I try to live by what I believe in, and also because I've seen lots of people on the Internet say they hate fakers and liars. I am overly concerned about whether people dislike me because I believe that they attack me with switchblades in some dark, obscure alley, or take pictures of me while I'm changing clothes and put it all over the Internet, and other things like that. (Not that it's ever happened, but hey, you never know.) Still, I am very curious about what people would think I'm like if I didn't have much information up. So maybe from now on I'll reveal as little as possible and see what happens.

This is a pretty big change of topic, but it's still got to do with this post's title. Very literally. Because there's a series of video games called Persona, and another friend of mine started telling me about the plot of Persona 4 yesterday. I've certainly seen Persona around before; one time I was on the air plane, and I noticed that the guy in the seat in front of me was playing a video game. Being the creepy, eavesdropping, people-watching sort of person that I am, I stared at it through the gap in the seats to see what game it was. I saw a character that looked very familiar, and then after a while I was certain that it had to be Minato Arisato, the protagonist of Persona 3. (And I was right; I later confirmed it by looking at pictures of Minato on the Internet. Couldn't find out from watching the guy play because his game was in Japanese, I think. I really have to learn Japanese this summer.) My friend says that she convinced her mom to get her Persona 4, which she says was pretty awkward, because Persona 4 is rated Teen in Japan but is rated Mature in America. (Tells you something about Japanese standards for what's age appropriate, game-wise at least, doesn't it?)

What I'm really in the mood for playing, though, is Pokemon. Sure, I have the older games, and I could go back to those, but there's nothing to do except slaughter wild Pokemon (which is like animal abuse, seeing as I don't even need to attack them except to make my own Pokemon level up), since I've already beat the main storyline. I'd like to try playing Pokemon Black or Pokemon White. But I haven't decided which one I want yet...I like Reshiram, the legendary Pokemon of Pokemon Black, but I think it'd be more useful to have Zekrom, and possibly Thundurus, if I ever get that far in the game. It seems, from what I've Googled, that it's easier to level up your Pokemon in Black...? (Correct me if I'm wrong.) I guess Black might be more useful to me because I don't really need those Pokemon that you can get in White but not in Black. (I mean, I checked the Pokemon that are in the White Forest, which is only in Pokemon White, and I have those Pokemon on my older Pokemon games.) If you have either game, please do tell me which you think is better.

Labels: club penguin, first impression, friends, honesty, identity, internet, japan, minato, paranoia, persona, pokemon, pokemon black, pokemon white, pretend, video games

Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It's a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I'm being urged to...

- Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I'm not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it's really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

- Make a "professional" email (I don't want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them - and besides, I figure I'll get spam mail if my real name is in the email's name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

- Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don't like the idea of that either, because it feels like I'm using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

- Stop wasting time on the Internet (that's something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I've already started to think of my "farewell" message. It's painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It's time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don't really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it's pretty much across the street, so it's nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, "Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it's all about studying." Then they paused, and added, "Well, it is sort of like that..."

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern...), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it's like in middle school they're preparing you for high school, and then in high school they're preparing you for college, and then in college you're being prepared for...Your job? The rest of your life? I'm not really sure. (As for when you've got yourself a steady job, I think you're just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don't see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I'm sure there's a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It's not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, "Eh, I'll probably end up studying something that isn't on the test. I'll be wasting my time.") But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I've looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I've read in novels really reflects the high school I'll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I'm not completely looking forward to it, either.

Labels: change, classes, college, crunchyroll, email, expectations, fear, first impression, future, high school, internet, judge, life, moral, preparation, quit, SAT, studying, teacher, uncertain

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