One day, at lunchtime, I noticed that a few of my friends seemed to be writing on something. It was a piece of binder paper, and a girl was writing on it in cursive. Upon listening and watching, I realized that she was practicing signatures over and over again.

She was not just practicing her own signature. She also imitated the signature of one of her friends, and I think she got pretty good at it, because the person whose signature she was practicing writing said, "Now you write my signature better than I do."

It kind of made me think of how risky it can be to let someone get a good look at your signature. With practice, a person could probably replicate your signature pretty well. You either have to have a really wacky one or you have to keep it hidden from other people in case they feel the urge to forge it. Imagine all the things they could sign without your permission! And even if the person was caught trying to use your signature, it'd still be a big hassle.

Speaking of other kinds of signatures, I recently started submitting some of mine to some groups on DeviantArt. They're all pretty old by now seeing as I don't make graphics that often anymore (and when I do I am reluctant to post them on DeviantArt, because something I read suggested that perhaps it could be interpreted as art thievery if the artists making images used in graphics did not wish to have their art used in graphics). Well, I know that I have a long way to go (I've seen some people who make amazing graphics, and I applaud them) but it does tick me off a bit to be given criticism about older graphics, but I suppose it is better that I just swallow my pride. After all, I am sure no one is purposely trying to bring down my self-confidence, they only am trying to offer tips, so I figure it's just another challenge that I have to overcome. I would like to get back to making graphics more actively. Perhaps I should take a look at some tutorials. (The only thing is, I feel bad if I rely on a tutorial heavily since I feel like I'm doing nothing more than imitating someone else's graphics. But then again, imitation is one way of learning...After all, once you've improved you can then focus on developing your own unique style.)

Well, I guess it all goes back to that whole "small fish in a big pond" kind of feeling. At times I can be quite overwhelmed by how many amazing people there are in the world - or, on the other side of the coin, how many really harsh people there are (and I'm not talking about what I mentioned in the previous paragraph in this case). But seeing a lot of talent can inspire me to try harder too, so it doesn't always have to be something harmful. And perhaps by having to deal with unpleasant people will help me to harden myself and get "thick skin". I only hope that things can turn out well in the end.

Labels: art, challenge, criticism, danger, deviantart, feelings, graphics, harsh, old, people, problem, pros and cons, safety, signature, style, thick skin, tutorial, unexpected, world, writing

Sometimes I feel like that, and other times I feel like quite the opposite. There are times that I have the feeling of being on top of the world, like I can overcome anything, and that life is easy. But there are times as well where I feel as if there is so much out there and I am just one person, too insignificant to matter.

I mentioned in a previous post (unfortunately, I can't remember which one it was, so unless you're really bored, don't bother searching for it) that I live in a place where many people are fairly affluent. One time, my language arts teacher (who says she is poor, but I suppose it can't be so bad she must live off of freebies) asked how many of us think about the price of things when we buy them. I didn't mind when I was younger, but over time I started to care about it, and nowadays I don't really buy much for myself (except for a Galileo thermometer, but that's a different story). A lot of people said they just asked their parents to buy something and didn't really worry about how much it cost. I had heard that my town prides itself on having an average income that is quite high, or something along those lines. (Note: That doesn't mean everyone owns a private jet or a beach house in a foreign country, though)

I started to wonder, "Would us kids be able to survive out in the real world?" Well, my parents' friend's son was a student at both UC Berkeley and Harvard, and he said, "The experience you get at the schools is different. At UC Berkeley you're more left to your own devices, but at Harvard you'll be helped along." Basically, even the different colleges may encourage a different level of independence. I have been wondering whether people living a sheltered, privileged life will really be okay when they get out there into the rest of the world. (Well, unless they always live in the same place, or move to a similar place) I mean, there are 6.8 billion people in the world and counting, so there will definitely be a lot of competition - for example, people will fight for jobs, as jobs are not created fast enough to make up for the growing population and the bad economy.

And really, the world is filled with hardships. I don't think everyone can be so lucky to never experience them. Some of my troubles are physical, like when I catch a cold, or sprain my ankle, but most of them are mental. I've always wondered what it would be like if I had a different life. Like if I had siblings...Being an only child, I don't really learn to share or to take care of someone else. In fact, I don't really do chores besides putting my clothes away when they have been washed.

Today, I visited a bridge in my town. It's not a bridge over water, it's simply a bridge over a highway. I think it looks very nice at nighttime, though I didn't visit it at night. I walked there with my dad in the afternoon. There were several people on the bridge. No cars are allowed on it - only people on foot and people on bicycles. The bridge is practically on the border of my town and a neighboring town, so if you cross the bridge, you'll be in a different city. But you'll be in the same school district. There is a high school right next to the other end of the bridge. I would like to be able to go that high school. (The high school I will probably be going to is a very highly ranked one in academic terms, though, and the high school next to the bridge is...not so much) It would be so charming, living next to the bridge and walking across it to go to school. Quite picturesque. Some people would be bothered by the highway noise, but I don't think it would be too much of a problem for me (as long as there aren't too many police chases and ambulances at nighttime).

I wonder what I ought to do. Should I accept my fate, because destiny cannot be altered? Or should I fight against it, fight to change it, and make a life for myself? Is it better to be the blade of grass, which bends but doesn't break, or like bamboo, which prefers to break than bend? Is it better to go with the flow or to make ripples in the water? I wonder about that.

Oh, before I end this post, I would like to explain why I was thinking of fish in the beginning of the post. It was because of something I saw in the December edition of Reader's Digest. There was a complaint someone made to a travel agent. The person said, "No one told us there were fish in the ocean. The children were startled." Wow. I guess there are many different people.

Labels: bamboo, berkeley, bridge, change, college, competition, destiny, feelings, fish, grass, harvard, high school, money, only child, readers digest, spending, survival

I think it's something the old President George W. Bush said, but I may have mistakenly attributed to him. Anyhow, I heard that he said this on his 60th birthday when he was still in office. If more people thought like that, you wouldn't be hearing a lot of them complaining about their grey hairs and back pain and how their kids are growing up too quickly or how they want to retire but they need to make more money... Blah blah blah. If only we could all be a little more positive and think, sure, this means another year of my life, and that's tiresome, but there are good things and memories to be made every year along with the bad things. Sometimes you might not realize right away, but you could be having the time of your life.

The reason why I started off my post like this is because my age just changed yesterday. Yep, it was my birthday. More specifically, the 13th one. I hope that age really is just a number since I don't want this to be an unlucky year for me. Judging from my school schedule, which I was able to see from Pinnacle Internet Viewer (thanks Shirayuki no Kimi or I wouldn't have known), it seems they plan to put me in village K. I don't really know the 8th grade teachers, so I'm kind of nervous. I've been looking on a site where you can rate teachers, and it seems my French teacher and science teacher are the ones that the students like the least...I hope it won't be a rough year, then. At least you have a chance of changing PE teachers. My intended PE periods are 6th, 3rd, and 3rd. I like 3rd period PE, so that's good to hear. But it seems like I always get 6th period PE sometime in the year. (Oh, well. I'm glad I don't have 5th period PE. Then I wouldn't even have time to digest my lunch)

Today my mom actually did Wii Fit. In fact, a lot of it. I'm sure it was at least more than half an hour. It's been so long since she did Wii Fit, she seems to have forgotten how to do some of the exercises (like Advanced Step, which is in a way a different kind of DDR) but I hope she'll make a habit out of exercising so she can build some muscle. No offense intended to her, but she's not much of an athlete. She could use it. My dad has not used Wii Fit ever since we came home from vacation a few days ago. It's hard for us to get back into the groove after being away for a while.

For this week my mom has been taking time off work and staying at home, so she can pretend she's still in Australia and get some more relaxation time before she must go back to work and get bombarded by unanswered emails and projects and things like that. It's nice to have someone around so you won't feel too lonesome. (Maybe it's just me who gets lonely. I'd actually gotten used to it in sixth grade, after a good friend of mine moved away in fifth, I think, but eventually I started wanting to socialize again.) During school it isn't so much of a matter but when you're by yourself, or/and something bad happens, you feel like this.

Labels: age, birthday, classes, corner of woe, exercise, feelings, george w. bush, lonely, luck, number, president, schedule, tamaki, teacher, thirteen, time, wii fit

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