I've been having lots of dreams over this past holiday season. Not really dreams that make me happy, though - I seem to have more and more nightmares these days. When I was younger, I was a major worrywart, though now I slack off a lot more and have a "whatever happens, happens" mentality. Can't say it's a good thing, because even if I might have a blast during the day, my sleep will be haunted by the fears that I've buried. My winter break's coming to an end, and it's rather depressing thinking that I have to go back to the tiresome daily grind again. One of the earlier dreams was about going back to school...except it was far stranger than I'd imagined it would be.

I assume that I returned to my high school, considering that in the dream I "knew" that I had 7 periods. But I had science first thing in the morning, even though it's my last class of the day, and there was a strict lady with short hair and glasses instead of my teacher. And one of my friends, who is not in my science class, was sitting near me, and her cell phone rang in class (which is impossible! She doesn't have one). I didn't have a locker, so instead I put down my backpack on the ground and was rifling through it when another friend of mine came along and told me, "I heard there's a great dessert menu!" (Since when would school lunches include such things?) I said that it sounded great, but I wasn't sure if I should eat it (I'm bound to overeat if I have too much tasty food around). She insisted, "What is food for besides eating?"

The strangest thing by far was PE. There was no locker room to change clothes, so we went into a building that looked alarmingly like a supermarket. Boys and girls all changed in that room, no privacy at all. And in the swimming pool, some guys were just fooling around, and then they must've challenged the dessert friend from earlier, because she got really fired up, saying "OH YEAH?!" and swam at a demonic speed.

I had another, shorter dream, where I was at my elementary school campus, walking with a friend I met in middle school and one who moved away when I was in 5th grade. We passed by a huge pile of brown stuff, which was apparently camel poop.

Last night's dream was weird, too, and it involved the friend who was in my dream's science class. Some of our friends had gone off during the school lunchtime to go to a nearby 7-11 and buy some food, so we decided to go too, after they'd left. But I was having difficulty getting out of the school, and could not find a way out except for trying to crawl under the barbed wire fence (luckily, there was a driveway that we walked down instead). But we didn't go to the 7-11; somehow we ended up at some other stores, one of which was a GameStop, and my friend went in and started admiring the TV screen, which was playing some Japanese commercials for video games. I don't remember what happened next, but somehow we ended up at my house, and I started to panic when I realized we were running out of time and had to get back to school. I suggested that we go out the front door and just walk back to school, but my friend, oddly enough, became very angry with me and insisted we go back the way we came. Problem is, I had no idea how we'd gotten to my house in the first place, so I followed my friend, and there were two men in the house. They went over to a wall, and one of them reached his hand into it like it wasn't solid. And he must've found a doorknob, because a door formed, and he opened it. We ended up in the outdoors, in a place full of plants (which I now suspect might've been a different version of my backyard). I don't remember anything else, as I woke up right then.

Dreaming's pretty hard work, even if it sounds like such a lazy activity... I wake up tired every time I've been having dreams. I guess it's because in a way you've been awake all night long - running around, talking to people, living an entire other life.

Labels: 7-11, camel poop, cell phone, changing clothes, dessert, dream, fantasy, friends, lazy, life, new year, night, PE class, school, slacker, sleep, strange, stress, time, worry

Although there's a show by the same time, I haven't watched it. I'm simply borrowing the name, that's all. I've often wished I could slow down time, stop it, even rewind it. But there's always things that need to be done, things that are expected of me or that I expect of myself. And when all is said and done, it's the end of the day.

It's been a while since I've gotten to write, so I certainly don't update this blog much anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm just shouting at a wall - seeing as there's no one left to read this except myself - but then again, perhaps the reason why I'm the only one here is because I hardly write anything, or at least nothing particularly of interest. I don't really have the urge to write anymore. It could be because I'm taking Writing for Publication and have written much more than usual this school year, so I've drained any creative energy I had.

Or maybe it's just gone to other pursuits, not necessarily useful ones, considering my capacity for wasting time without getting bored. Well, at least I'm writing for a change. Maybe it's a start.

I've just arrived home from a trip to China, visiting relatives, as is necessary every couple of years. For a long time I'd made up my mind to hate the country, or at least the city of Shanghai, which is mostly due to what memories I had of visiting it. What I remember is...

- Being forced to dine with relatives that I had nothing to say to and who smoked indoors, and gave me gifts that I didn't want, but could not refuse because that would be bad manners

- Not wanting to eat anything except for egg tarts, which were very unhealthy. I was not interested in Chinese food, and still am not, for the most part.

- Being given huge sums of money by relatives, which made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't deserve it, and my mom always tried to take the money from me (she insisted it was for safekeeping, but I was always suspicious)

- Rude people in general (being shoved aside without apology on the street, in the subway station, and such. And vendors yelling at me if I didn't buy anything.)

- Spitting on the ground (you would hear this gagging noise and some person would spit a blob of mucus on the ground. Yuck! At least my old history teacher had the sense to do it in the trash can)

- Being stared at (store workers that would just watch me as I browsed the merchandise. Not comfortable at all)

- Near-death situations (cars, bikes, and people ignoring the red traffic lights, cars insisting on cutting you off when you had the "right of the way". Pretty funny this time since an old man said a very rude word in Chinese to the drivers)

- A general feeling of uneasiness (because of how rushed the locals seemed to be, combined with cigarette smoke and an ugly grey sky)

All of these things were still there this time, but maybe I had a different outlook now. Or maybe I was just tired of hating it. I did get to go to Beijing this time, and Beijing was pretty nice since it had parks - and cats living in them! Beijing even had a blue sky, which astonished me. But it was way too cold, and unfamiliar, and taxi drivers tried to rip us off or would refuse to drive us because of the horrible Beijing traffic jams. I guess I'd become familiar with Shanghai...I'd been there enough times to recognize the sights and sounds, and I even found that I liked nighttime there (it reminded me of Las Vegas, with the lights XD). The place hasn't changed so much. It's me who has changed.

Labels: beijing, blog, change, china, comparison, consequences, energy, familiar, lazy, memories, night, perspective, rush, shanghai, time, writing

This past Monday was my first day back at school. It wouldn't have been much of a concern normally, but this time I was moving up to high school for the first time. I really had no idea what to expect. I knew it would be more tiring, considering that more is expected of a student as they age (and also seeing that I have 7 classes, not 6, this year), but I certainly had not expected it to be THAT bad.

I didn't really take any summer classes this year, nor was I particularly diligent about my studies at home. I did do some work in my geometry textbook, took an SAT practice test, and looked over some vocab cards, but I pretty much didn't touch algebra at all over the summer, and I quickly came to regret it. I couldn't remember much of the operations that had come so easily to me before. I was really frustrated and also angry at myself. I really shouldn't have assumed that I would still remember something that I learned a year or two ago. I thought it was like being able to swim, or ride a bike, that you wouldn't forget it quickly. Boy, was I wrong.

I expected that I would have less free time than before, but that I would at least be able to go on a few websites for a while. Maybe about twenty minutes a day for that. But I found that if I spent time doing things besides homework, I might not finish my homework until past 9 pm, and sometimes even later. I have to focus on my homework without the distractions of the computer or it simply won't get done. The teachers often assign a lot of homework but only give one day to finish it. There hasn't been all that much teaching going on, either. I know that I am expected to become independent eventually and that leaving more work for us to do on our own is a step on the way to that, but I miss having clearer instructions from the teachers and actually getting a reasonable time period to finish homework.

I wonder if perhaps I am the only one, or one of few, who is struggling with it. I guess I'm not used to efficiency (or maybe I never had enough time management skills to begin with) after a summer of relaxation and slacking off. It wasn't until the weekend that I found I had the chance to resume my normal activities on the Internet. And even then I feel uneasy while I am taking such breaks because I feel like I ought to be studying or getting ahead on homework (which I really don't feel like doing). I figure I'll probably get used to it, but I still feel disheartened thinking about the time I still have left in high school. There are still four years to go, and I've already become a hermit who rarely socializes but instead spends lunch, brunch, any free moments in class, and the whole evening doing homework. I'm hoping that either the workload will be lessened or that I'll develop speed as the year goes on (though the former doesn't seem likely, so I suppose I have to hope that I'll learn to manage my time).

Labels: algebra, break, clarity, first day, forget, high school, homework, lazy, socialization, struggle, summer, time management

Do you have any guess what it is? (Yes, I know, the last time I used a French blog title was pretty recent, but eh, I heard about "faire la bise" recently and I wanted to talk about it before I forgot) Well, it's a gesture in French. Have you ever seen French people kiss each other on the cheeks as a greeting? (Maybe in a movie, or you've actually seen people do it?) That's basically what faire la bise is. My French teacher explained about it and also told us something mildly amusing.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard of the swine flu scare not that long ago. As a measure to try and prevent the further spread of H1N1 virus, the French people were told to try and do less faire la bise, what with it being easy to spread disease with your mouth. Some people were pretty huffy about this. They consider faire la bise a part of being French, and I guess it's offensive being told not to do it (even if it's not outright forbidding faire la bise). Yeah, I know writing it down doesn't make it sound very funny. Oh well.

In history class, we were watching Youtube videos. I guess some things don't change. I mean, my history teacher last year showed us quite a few Youtube videos. Today, we watched some of the speeches of Taylor Mali, a poet/teacher. They were kind of funny, but they were also meaningful. I liked the one called "What Teachers Make" the best. I did think it was a little odd that the speeches are called poems, because I'm used to reading poems which are all mysterious and sometimes don't make sense. But I suppose there always a lot of different versions of the so-called same thing.

My mother has been staying home because of something to do with her health. I'm not really supposed to talk about it (and it's not like her life is threatened! So no worries) but my dad stayed home as well. And they both seemed to be lazing around. I used to think it was good for people to relax once in a while but now I'm not so sure since my parents seemed more lazy than usual. I suppose I'm probably kind of like that too when I have a day off, but it still seemed weird.

Since my mom has been staying home the last two days, she was watching a movie called Though None Go With Me. I watched some of it as well, enough to get the story, anyways. It's about a old lady who tells about her life to her granddaughter. The old woman, Elizabeth, had promised to follow God, but much happened to her, and she suffered from the deaths of people close to her. The movie was often rather cheesy and cliched but at other times it was touching. Apparently it was based off of a book, though I have not read the book.

Labels: break, caution, disease, faire la bise, french, gesture, lazy, meaningful, movie, poetry, staying home, swine flu, taylor mali, though none go with me, tradition, youtube

That's actually part of some song lyrics. That's only because I really couldn't think of a title today. While I was at school I had plenty of ideas for what to write in my blog post but once I went home, the ideas just flew right out of my head. I don't know, maybe it's just change of atmosphere or short term memory, like Dory from Finding Nemo, if you've seen that animated movie.

I should talk about something from the post title, so I will. We used to read a book called Weighty Words in language arts class. (We haven't gotten to read it for a very long time, though; only just today did my teacher resume) Each letter of the alphabet has an interesting word. A story is written about it and is not obvious until the end of the story. I find this is a good way to teach people instead of memorizing vocabulary lists, which tends to make the students' minds degenerate. Or something. (My father used to teach, many, many, years ago. It was math, but I think he might still get what I'm saying.)

Much earlier in the year, we read a story about the letter E. An ant used to be famous for his speed. He ran a lot to get food. But later he discovered a more convenient food source, so he got lazy and stopped running around all the time. They called him an ex-speedy ant (like ex-husband, if you have been divorced), which led to the word, expedient. There's even a website called expedia.com, I think. Anyhow, expedient doesn't necessarily mean you are lazy, it just means if you have a harder way and an easy way, you'd take the easy way. So I'd like you all to call me expedient instead of lazy. XD

On to actual news. I have received my school yearbook for this year. They are not cheap, so I hope it is worth it this year. I'm glad the cover looks better. Some people thought the fake stain type things looked disgusting but I would say it's a big improvement from last year. The cover then was just blank white with some words. Not exactly something you want to look at, like the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci. Oh yeah, have you heard this rumor? I heard that if you stare at the Mona Lisa long enough, it seems like she blinks, winks, smiles, or looks at you. I heard this effect was achieved by da Vinci himself painting many layers on top of each other with oil paint, causing it to look like the painting can move when it really can't. That's really cool. I wonder if I could try it sometime. Maybe this summer...

...Since this summer I am signing up for summer classes, as always. My mom believes summer must be occupied with something since she doesn't believe in resting on your laurels. Oh, I should explain what that phrase means. In the past, laurels were an honor since you got them for an achievement, Roman senators used to wear crowns of laurels. Someone who is resting on their laurels is satisfied with what they have achieved. Which is kind of true for me, I suppose. I think I've come a long way personally. Nowadays someone who rests on their laurels is considered lazy. (I'd call myself expedient, but it's not suitable for this occasion.)

This year I have signed up for Japanese class and painting studio. I have decided not to take any real academic classes, since I think the purpose of summer vacation is to be what the name is - a vacation from the stress of homework and tests, and social mores of school. (Sometimes I confuse myself.) I really like artsy things, though I have to say I don't like how art teachers are so picky and critique every little thing. But I guess that's their job, so I should zip my mouth closed. Japanese is just a language that I find pretty to say. I would learn something else but they only offer so many languages there... I wanted some of my friends to come too, but they have different circumstances. Some of them are going somewhere (well, I am going to Australia, but one of my friends is going to Taiwan and Europe) and others have family matters (I believe there is resent about the Japanese invasion of Korea in the past century) and yet others don't even take classes during the summer. I have heard it is boring to stay at home during the summer but I seriously want to try it for once! I haven't done that since I was younger, I always was shuffled off to day camps and academic daycares/summer school like a toy nobody wanted.

Labels: ant, art, books, brain, expedient, forgetful, japanese, language arts, laurels, lazy, learn, leonardo da vinci, lyrics, mona lisa, painting, phrase, summer, unwanted, weighty words, yearbook

Right now I am typing this at my friend Mars/Miyu-chan's house. She didn't want me to use her own computer, so I am currently using her sister's computer. She keeps pressuring me to write in the blog she just made. (Unfortunately I am not yet a part of the blog team, so I decided I would rather just write in my own friendly Kaisoumizu for now). That reminds me...Recently I was wandering about on the Internet and I saw someone called "kai_mizu" or something like that. I was a bit worried because that sounds quite similar to Kaisoumizu. I hope whoever it is doesn't mind.

It's already 4 pm. Time sure flies. I was scheduled to be at my pal's house from 2 pm to 6 pm. We decided not to go to the movies, so we are here rotting our brains out on the computers. Miyu-chan warned me not to use Mozilla Firefox because it makes her computers crash but I eventually got sick of the slowness of Internet Explorer and went for Foxy. And it is working much more effectively, actually, so I'm glad. (By the way, her sister's computer is a Windows Vista, Toshiba brand. So the screens look a little different from what I'm used to since I have always used Windows XP.)

Which reminds me, Miyu-chan's sister's cursor (you know, the pointy arrow thing you use to move around the screen and click on things). It's a peeling banana which is quite amusing to watch. I used to have a cursor back in the day, when my laptop was still young and restless, but my dad removed the program that lets me choose different cursors because my computer had been running out of space. I kind of miss having a custom cursor, but I don't want to install it on my computer and end up with viruses and spyware. So I guess I have to do without.

Let me talk about something else before I bore you to tears. I am celebrating my mom's successful download. She finally managed to install her Skype, so I can chat with her when she has free time at work. Twice she used only a smilie/emoticon for her message and I was creeped out, so I asked her why. She said it was too tiresome to type out a message. I called her lazy, but she annoyed me by saying she wasn't the lazy one, I was...! Hmph, what a rude thing to say, even if it is...true. Somewhat.

I ate a bunch of grapes earlier. I hope Miyu-chan's mom doesn't mind. I know she probably put it out for my sake, but I'm not sure if I was supposed to eat that much, you know? Then I'd look like a glutton, she'd give me too much food next time, I wouldn't finish it, and she might be offended (though she wouldn't say so). Must be very careful with other people's parents. (That's a word of advice! Remember it!)

Labels: blah, computer, cursor, custom, danger, download, family, friends, fruit, house, impression, internet, lazy, name, skype, time

Today's homework was only math for me, much to my relief. You won't believe how lazy I can get most of the time. But I prefer to say "expedient". (Expedient is an adjective, which means "taking the easy way out", not "lazy". That word is related to Expedia.com, which my teacher says really is "expedient".) Anyhow, I'm just going to kick back and relax today, except for my parents are home. I need to get a Halloween costume thrown together FAST, and then practice some piano. *moans feebly*

The day went by pretty smooth. I am satisfied with my free choice watercolor painting except for where you can see the paint dried weirdly. (It's too late to fix it, since I already turned it in! It was due today) Oh well. But then, I was told it was almost the end of the trimester. Soon I'll moving on to the next part of Applied Arts...I actually like Art, even though a lot of kids say it's their least favorite. I want Woodshop next, and then Cooking. (I'd like to have cooking either in the early morning, or at the end of the day, so I have breakfast or a snack to eat.) I don't know what elective I'm going to take next year...Maybe I'll take a foreign language?

Anyhow, back to my day... (you may have noticed that I am back to normal, not typing weird, but never mind that) I am sure I failed the math quiz, and I am nervous because I didn't see my Illumination on the wall of my history classroom. It makes me worried, since I start thinking negatively (for instance, "WHAT IF MR. BLAIR LOST IT?!?!"). But I will just have to look for it tomorrow. In science, we are doing Animal of the Week again. This time, the animal is the bat. I learned a few things, like bats aren't really blind, and actually lick their babies, like a cat. o_O

Language arts was rather drab except for when Mrs. Jackson started reading the Weighty Words to us again. It's a book full of interesting words that may even help us on our SATs someday. But the words are taught through all sorts of odd stories. For instance, we learned the word laxity through a story about a city called Slack City. The people were very lazy there. The city sign needed to be repainted, but the guy who was supposed to paint it forgot to paint the S, so it said "Lack City", which sounds like the word laxity (meaning laziness, I believe).

Labels: applied arts, art, expedient, halloween, laxity, lazy, painting, piano, watercolor, weighty words

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