Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It's a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I'm being urged to...

- Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I'm not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it's really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

- Make a "professional" email (I don't want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them - and besides, I figure I'll get spam mail if my real name is in the email's name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

- Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don't like the idea of that either, because it feels like I'm using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

- Stop wasting time on the Internet (that's something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I've already started to think of my "farewell" message. It's painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It's time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don't really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it's pretty much across the street, so it's nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, "Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it's all about studying." Then they paused, and added, "Well, it is sort of like that..."

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern...), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it's like in middle school they're preparing you for high school, and then in high school they're preparing you for college, and then in college you're being prepared for...Your job? The rest of your life? I'm not really sure. (As for when you've got yourself a steady job, I think you're just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don't see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I'm sure there's a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It's not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, "Eh, I'll probably end up studying something that isn't on the test. I'll be wasting my time.") But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I've looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I've read in novels really reflects the high school I'll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I'm not completely looking forward to it, either.

Labels: change, classes, college, crunchyroll, email, expectations, fear, first impression, future, high school, internet, judge, life, moral, preparation, quit, SAT, studying, teacher, uncertain

It's a book by Katherine Paterson, which I read a long time ago, sometime back in elementary school. I don't think I fully understood what I was reading. But I doubt I'll be rereading the book to get another look at it (there are so many good books in the world out there that I haven't read, and I'd like to get to those first).

Well, I am not a fan of Jacob Black from Twilight (or, more specifically, the actor for him in the movies, Taylor Lautner) but I ended up with him on April Fool's Day. On DeviantArt, every user's avatar was replaced with a joke avatar. The possibilities were Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Team Seeker, or Lady Gaga...It was so hard to tell who was who. It goes to show how I rely on pictures to recognize things. It's hard for me to remember so many names.

This week is my spring break. I'll be staying home for the break. Seeing as I had a trip to the Grand Canyon/Las Vegas in February, and a Yosemite trip in March, I think I've had enough of the excitement of traveling. (And it is costly, so I was hoping to save up more money for my retirement by not spending it on travel costs now.) Also, I do have some homework which I need to work on. I'm rather reluctant to do research for an upcoming project because this is supposed to be my time off, but I guess it can't be helped. Work must be done, and someone's gotta do it.

Unfortunately, I had the misfortune of catching a cold, presumably from a student at my school (due to frequent changes in weather, some students have fallen ill). I really hate having to spend my time off sick. Still, it's better than being sick during the school days, since then you either have to miss school and make it up, or you have to go to school and be miserable all day long. Indeed, my history teacher has gotten sick several times this school year and he was always having to spit in the trash can. (Not pleasant to watch. But he said it was either that or he "literally stopped breathing". Actually, I think a few students didn't think it was such a bad idea.)

I was meaning to write more, but it seems like all of a sudden my ideas have dried up, like an old well. I only hope that if I keep typing, my ideas will return to me, and this will not be a waste of your time. (Time is money, and time is what we want most but use worst. So of course you must understand its value.)

Recently, I finished watching an anime called R.O.D. the TV. The ROD part stands for Read or Die (sounds rather disturbing at first, and it is related to the storyline, but it's not horror). I had been reluctant to watch it at first, it being a fairly old anime from 2003-2004. However, I started watching it one time when my mom's friends were over (they had two children) and found it to be more enjoyable than I expected. Sometimes I don't think an anime will be good, but I decide to give it a chance and watch it, and then it turns out to be better than I expected. So you should always try something out before you dismiss it completely since you could later regret not doing it.

Just to give you a bit of an idea, R.O.D. the TV is about three sisters who are paper masters that can control paper. The sisters are supposed to be "bodyguards" for an author, and end up involved in the plans of Mr. Joker and many others, who are trying to revive a great man named Mr. Gentlemen. When I was younger (and I still do this sometimes) I'd often imagine myself with some kind of special power. It's too bad that it never does happen in real life that way. What we think of as magical is often Mother Nature at work. But at the same time we can never let go of any fanciful dreams. (Just look at all the science fiction and fantasy books that are published to this day. In fact, fantasy is a pretty popular genre of books.)

Labels: anime, april fool's day, book, break, deviantart, expectations, fantasy, homework, jacob black, read or die, rod the tv, sick, spit, surprise, teacher, time, travel, trip, twilight, value

Just the other day, I went to a different dentist than my usual dentist. I've gone faithfully to the same dentist for many years now, but recently a problem has come up. My dentist is also an orthodontist, and he says I need to get braces because two of my teeth are at odd angles and need to be turned so they are facing the right way.

My mom and I hope that if the braces really aren't necessary, then I won't have to get them, since it costs quite a hefty sum, and besides it is a big hassle (have to brush after meals supposedly, and the metal can irritate your mouth, etc.).

So we went to a different orthodontist, who I believe was recommended by my mother's dentist (I would go to my mom's dentist, except I would have to miss school, because of the hours kept at her office), to get a "second opinion" on the matter. He was okay, I suppose. First he had me move my jaw up and down and things like that to see whether my jaws worked fine. Function is all A-OK, which means my teeth can do their job. That's a relief.

I was sure then that I wouldn't need them, but the orthodonist said for the sake of looks, it'd be better if my teeth were moved forward, which would probably make them fit together better and also would supposedly cause my mouth to stick out more. This is because the area between my nose and mouth is sort of flat which people think makes you look old. Hello, I am supposed to be an old lady! 4 billion years old!!! And so the orthodontist said I should have expanders first since it would change my bone structure, and that needs to be done now otherwise my bones will fuse and it will be impossible to change. The thing is, my mom and I don't think it's a good idea to change your bones, I mean, it could have some unforseen consequences, and it doesn't necessarily make you look better. Besides, I couldn't care less about whether it looks nicer (sorry, Tom Cruise - by the way, he had braces) as long as it doesn't cause me to have headaches or give me trouble eating.

So here we are in my family trying to make the decision. Should we go for it or not? It might be worth it considering that your smile might be nicer and then you could get a job or something. D: But then again, it might not be worth it, and that is the question. (Kind of like "To be or not to be")

Recently I found out that one of my teachers is an only child. It was before school started, and I had time to kill before first period. I went inside early because my teacher stuck his head out the door and said, "You can come in, you know." (I was standing outside reading a book) Well, I started doing the DO NOW (the teacher usually has a topic for us to write about in our notebooks. Let me give you an example: "List: What were the strengths and weaknesses of both sides in the American Revolution?" or "According to the Declaration of Independence, what is the purpose of government?) and then he came by and asked, "Do you have any older brothers and siblings?" So then I said, "No." Then he thought for a bit and asked, "So are you an only child?" To which I replied, "Yes." He asked me what I felt like being an only child, and I meant to say that I felt like my parent's expectations were all placed on me, like a burden, except instead I said something else, which the teacher misunderstood, because he thought I was talking about chores. o_O;; He said, "I know what you mean. I'm an only child, and I always had four times the chores as everybody else." And then another student, who was also in there early because he usually is, chimed in, "I'm not an only child, but I'm the oldest child in my family, and it's like that for me too."

And then my teacher said that how many siblings you have, and whether you're the oldest or youngest or middle or only child, could have an effect on your personality, and he said it would be interesting to find out about the families of the students. I think that'd be interesting too. But unfortunately we have to concentrate on learning the Constitution at the moment. D:

Labels: appearance, bone structure, braces, constitution, cosmetics, decision, dentist, do now, expectations, family, function, jaws, only child, orthodontist, personality, siblings, teacher, teeth

Top ↑