I always seem to be addicted to one thing or another...Such has been the pattern since I was a young girl. Most of the addictions I had were having to do with video games and other electronics.

Anime (which led to japanese pop and rock)
If you count Pokemon and/or Sailor Moon, then I first watched it before I was in kindergarten (I remember watching Pokemon with a preschool friend of mine). I think I was the most aggressive about watching anime during 6th and 7th grade; I kept watching in 8th grade, though not nearly as much. And after going into high school I haven't had as much time for it. But I still managed to get some in here and there.

Pokemon games (which led to other video games)
Started when a friend introduced me to them around 2nd grade or so. I was obsessed up until about 8th grade, where I lost interest for a while, but had a few phases of readdiction to an older Pokemon game, LeafGreen. (Unfortunately, I have since fallen off the bandwagon and I am no longer actively keeping up with Pokemon. All I know is that Black and White are supposed to come out soon, and that there's some dude called N with green hair who seems to be popular.)

Neopets
First played it in 1st grade, made account but never got rich and kept forgetting the password. Finally stuck to one account and worked very hard on it. I did accomplish a lot, but now I don't think it was worth the time because I no longer do much on Neopets (got too busy in high school and didn't finish the most recent plot). Probably not going to pick it up seriously again, but who knows?

Nutrinopets (which led to role-playing and graphics)
Actually was bored by the site at first, but returned some months later and decided to become more active. I was invited to a club, and that's how I discovered the forums of the site. It used to be quite active, but I saw people leave and move on with their lives as time went on. The site went down when I was in 8th grade and it's not here anymore. It's through Nutrinopets that I discovered role-playing, graphics, and my obsession with big numbers, particularly when it comes to forum posts (I had well over 20,000 forum posts, though sadly it's all gone to waste, but I'm glad that I no longer have the obligation to visit the site).

Gaia Online
Another forum; I think I was addicted to this before I got into Nutrinopets, actually, but I didn't stay on Gaia nearly as long. I think that's how my childhood innocence got spoiled. Got my first taste of seeing lots of swearing and more inappropriate stuff. -_-;; Mostly I just liked to make money and get items for my avatar. My account got deactivated because I was too young, and I had trouble getting it back once I did turn 13. I still go to Gaia sometimes, but it's really not that interesting to me. :\

The Sims 2 and 3
I really enjoy things that I can customize and control at my will, so making virtual people achieve things was pleasing to me... (If only it were that easy in real life to become a master chef, buy a huge house, or be friends with with 30 people... Though the third one's already too much work in video games XD)

Crunchyroll
Originally joined the site because they had an anime episode that I was having trouble finding elsewhere on the Internet. Abandoned my account for a long time before a friend of mine encouraged me to become active on the site. I don't have a very positive view of the site anymore (though I haven't completely quit because I'm too attached to it D: ). There's really a lot of people there, though, as well as many talented graphics-makers.

DeviantArt (which led to PHOTOGRAPHY!)
Another site that I was inactive on at first, but later became a frequent visitor. I started out only posting graphics, but then I decided to put up a few of my old vacation photos, and eventually photography became the main focus of my gallery. I'm grateful to DeviantArt because I probably wouldn't have been inspired to get into photography without it.

Youtube/Vocaloids/Nico Nico singers
A friend of mine suggested some Vocaloid songs to listen to (I believe Magnet was one of them; I forget the rest. But Magnet was the one that stood out to me; although it's not my favorite song, I know more of its lyrics than any other Vocaloid song). I knew about Vocaloids from seeing the artwork (particularly on Zerochan.net) and I'd listened to one or two songs of the Vocaloids before, but I guess those songs weren't very good since I hadn't liked Vocaloids back then. I'd thought they were too robotic-sounding and that I preferred "real" Japanese singers. Then I was made aware that there are actually members of the site Nico Nico Douga who make covers of the Vocaloid songs: basically, they sing the Vocaloid songs themselves and put it up on the Internet. They're quite talented and some have actually become professional singers. (Just see Pico, he's even got his own Vocaloid based off of himself now!) Well, you already saw my Valshe spam. I'll probably post more videos of the Nico Nico singers' music in the future.

I've had a bunch of other mini-addictions as well, to series such as Angelic Layer, Sola, Ouran High School Host Club, Pretear, Skip Beat, Durarara!!...and to video game franchises like Harvest Moon, Super Smash Bros...I wonder, will I ever break free from this cycle?

I can already feel myself being sucked into it again. I've seen two websites for the Dollars. It's a fictional group from the series Durarara!! but people have taken it upon themselves to make an actual site. There's a Dollars forum and a Dollars BBS. (If you don't know the password to get in, just ask me or whoever else you know that's a Durarara!! fan) You may realize that many of the sites I frequented in the past were sites with active forums. I've always preferred forums to chatting (chatting is too fast-paced, a bit harder to multitask), and I can't help but be attracted when I see a forum that might suit an otaku like myself.

I probably won't join the Dollars, at least not yet, because of the amount of users (not quite enough...it seems like the size is like Nutrinopets was when it was waning in activity, and I don't really want a repeat of the past). There is another prospective that looks very good to me, Vocaloid Otaku. It's a forum focused on Vocaloids and it's more active than the Dollars forum...If I join, though, I'm bound to get addicted and waste even more time on the Internet, which really is not in my best interests. It's so tempting, though! It would give me an excuse to make graphics (I could make myself an avatar with a matching signature banner). And making new accounts is always interesting for me. I'll hold back for now.

Labels: addiction, anime, crunchyroll, deviantart, dollars, durarara, forum, gaia online, internet, music, neopets, nutrinopets, otaku, pokemon, the sims, video games, vocaloid, vocaloids

These days, I'm always living on the edge; I get distracted by something, usually because of the Internet, and then I realize that it's late at night and I still haven't done my homework. Then I have to make a mad scramble to finish it, which is annoying not only to myself but to my parents, who feel that I go to bed too late (compared to my classmates, I actually sleep pretty early...still, I do think I'd feel a lot better if I slept more), and particularly my dad, who insists on staring at me angrily until I'm inside the bedroom. (He actually goes to bed earlier than I do on most nights, though. He gets tired early because he wakes up too early. But I don't think he's become healthy, wealthy, and wise from it...)

I used to live by the motto of "Work hard, play hard", but I seem to have lost the "work hard" part...My efforts nowadays are concentrated on things that are not urgent, such as Tumblr. I really do enjoy looking for high-quality pictures to share on my Tumblogs, though. (I do fear yet that some artist will storm in yelling at me for putting up their pics without permission, although it has not happened yet)

So I suppose there isn't much difference between how I spend my time on school days and how I'm spending it now, on my week off. I'm still on the computer much of the time. I visited Crunchyroll the other day (though I meant to quit, somehow I'm still hanging on by my fingernails...Now I'm thinking that I could just make a new account instead, and have waaaaay less buddies on it) and spent a lot of time looking at the groups (it's like a club or guild). I figured I'd request a new avatar if I found a group that didn't charge for graphics. There's technically no currency on CR except for CR points, which you can't give or receive anyways, but some groups say that you must invite all your buddies, upload X number of photos, post X number of comments on the group wall, etc. So it is refreshing when you are able to find a group that makes graphics quickly and for no charge.

Seeing all those graphics has made me long for the old days when I made graphics more actively. I think I've made a total of two graphics this school year so far and haven't taken many photos compared to last year - but at least since it's springtime I have more photo opportunities again. Anyways, though, the last graphic I made was an avatar for my Crunchyroll account, around December...



At the time when I first made it, I thought it was really great, but now I think it doesn't have quite the right amount of pizazz toward it. Maybe less of the sparkles and some other kind of brushes or textures would've been nice. (Not that I would ever go back to fix it. In my book, once something's done, it's done. That doesn't sit too well in Writing for Publication class since we have to make many drafts of almost everything we write.)

I really feel like making some graphics right now, because I want to practice and improve so that I can keep up with the times - lots of amazing graphics-makers these days, after all, and the number will keep growing - but I'm using my dad's laptop, so it's a no-can-do. Not sure if his company would appreciate me overloading their computers with programs and brushes. Guess it's time to brainstorm. I'll see if I have the chance to make some graphics once I'm back home again.

Labels: account, avatar, break, crunchyroll, distraction, father, free time, graphics, group, internet, motto, payment, pictures, plans, price, share, sleep, time, tumblr

Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It's a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I'm being urged to...

- Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I'm not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it's really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

- Make a "professional" email (I don't want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them - and besides, I figure I'll get spam mail if my real name is in the email's name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

- Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don't like the idea of that either, because it feels like I'm using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

- Stop wasting time on the Internet (that's something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I've already started to think of my "farewell" message. It's painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It's time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don't really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it's pretty much across the street, so it's nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, "Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it's all about studying." Then they paused, and added, "Well, it is sort of like that..."

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern...), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it's like in middle school they're preparing you for high school, and then in high school they're preparing you for college, and then in college you're being prepared for...Your job? The rest of your life? I'm not really sure. (As for when you've got yourself a steady job, I think you're just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don't see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I'm sure there's a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It's not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, "Eh, I'll probably end up studying something that isn't on the test. I'll be wasting my time.") But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I've looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I've read in novels really reflects the high school I'll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I'm not completely looking forward to it, either.

Labels: change, classes, college, crunchyroll, email, expectations, fear, first impression, future, high school, internet, judge, life, moral, preparation, quit, SAT, studying, teacher, uncertain

Today was a pretty unimportant day. It passed in a flash and before I knew it somehow I had walked myself home and called my mom. I tried turning on the speaker on my cell phone and playing piano for her since it must be really boring stuck in an office cubicle all day. Unfortunately, some of her co-workers came in and she hung up, but I didn't notice because I was busy making a big racket on the piano...

I spent too long attempting to replace the furniture in one of the houses in the Sims 2, so I didn't have enough time to spend on the computer doing other things like posting in the Nutrinopets forums and replying to all my comments on Crunchyroll...I guess from now on I need to manage my time better. Then I saw my mom was looking at Google maps so I went and clicked on the images on it and looked at the national parks.

Anyhow, tomorrow I have a busy day because Stanford is having some sort of day where they are letting you take classes (for a price!). I am going to take two afternoon classes so I have to the library in the morning and I won't get any free time until the evening rolls around. But at least I get to visit my favorite college again!

Labels: cell phone, college, crunchyroll, furniture, google maps, music, nutrinopets, piano, sims 2, speakers, splash, stanford, time, time management

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