Is there such a phobia? Because I probably had it, not long ago.

A week from now, on Monday, I will officially make the move from middle school to high school. It's a change that I have been feeling uncertain about. It seems like the clock will really be ticking once I enter high school. My mother is now pressuring me to take classes and study for the SATs and attend seminars. And now I'm being urged to...

- Talk to my teachers (which is a bit hard for me, since I'm not that outgoing as of the past few years and I feel like it's really shallow to befriend your teachers just to get a good recommendation letter for college)

- Make a "professional" email (I don't want to have to check three different emails. I already hardly check one of them - and besides, I figure I'll get spam mail if my real name is in the email's name. And I would really be angry if people were judging me by my email. I know, in this world, first impressions can mean everything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

- Attend extra classes outside of school (my mother insists that a lot of other people are taking them and I have to in order to keep up. But I don't like the idea of that either, because it feels like I'm using money in order to get ahead in school. Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. Well, I suppose I may be the only one who has such warped and illogical morals.)

- Stop wasting time on the Internet (that's something I intend to work on myself. For instance, I am planning to quit Crunchyroll. Maybe not completely. I might come back once in a while, but I will probably stop visiting on a regular basis. I've already started to think of my "farewell" message. It's painful for me to leave something behind, but not as much as I would have thought a few months ago. It's time to move on. I no longer want to be chained to it.)

And I don't really know what to expect of life in high school. Back when school was still in session, all of us 8th graders went over to the high school campus (it's pretty much across the street, so it's nearby) and listened to some people talk about various parts of the school. They encouraged us to join clubs and participate in leadership activities and whatnot. Near the beginning of the session, the students said, "Well, I bet you think from what your siblings and friends have told you that it's all about studying." Then they paused, and added, "Well, it is sort of like that..."

I certainly hope not. In this country, what with some of the best universities being located here (Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, UC Berkeley, UC LA, Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Dartmouth, Pomona, Northwestern...), the competition gets too fierce. If you ask me, it's like in middle school they're preparing you for high school, and then in high school they're preparing you for college, and then in college you're being prepared for...Your job? The rest of your life? I'm not really sure. (As for when you've got yourself a steady job, I think you're just waiting for retirement. XD) I have heard that some of my fellow students have been taking classes during the summer, such as Geometry, so that perhaps they can move up a level in math and will not have to take Geometry in high school. (I don't see the need to rush. Why not take it easy? You should be able to take Calculus by your senior year if you just go the grade level route.)

Well, I'm sure there's a lot more to high school than just studying for tests all the time. (It's not like I study as much as I should anyways, since I often think to myself, "Eh, I'll probably end up studying something that isn't on the test. I'll be wasting my time.") But I have no idea what everything else is like either. I've looked at the school lunch menu and read the policy, but what does that really tell me about the people there? How can I know what I've read in novels really reflects the high school I'll be attending? Will it be similar to middle school or a whole different universe? I guess the only thing that can be done is to experience it for myself. I am no longer afraid, or at least less so than before. But I'm not completely looking forward to it, either.

Labels: change, classes, college, crunchyroll, email, expectations, fear, first impression, future, high school, internet, judge, life, moral, preparation, quit, SAT, studying, teacher, uncertain

I once wrote about seeing snails at the library courtyard - click here to read the post. But that's certainly not the only place in my town where you can see some snails.

When I was in elementary school, there were some snails among the bushes. I can't remember too clearly what I had done to them in the past, but I am sure it was not something particularly nice. (Even now I still don't treat bugs and such critters very well...Someday they're all going to take revenge on me.)

One day, when I was walking home, not that long ago, I heard this cracking noise. I looked back and saw something crushed on the sidewalk. I fear it may have been some unlucky snail slowly making its way across the block, only to be squashed under my mighty foot.

To avoid another occurrence, I kept my eyes on the ground in front of me. Unfortunately, that didn't work either. I was late to realize that the light had changed and that it was time to cross the street since I was being looking around for snails.

On the weekend, my mom told me that there was a snail in front of our house, so I went over to investigate. I took a few pictures of the snail. Then I attempted to prod it with a stick so it would shrink back into its shell and I would be able to move it somewhere else. (I had hoped to be able to keep the snail as a pet, but I didn't know how I would take care of it...I don't even know what snails eat.) But the snail kept trying to stick its head back out not long after each time that I poked it. I guess it realized that I wasn't planning to kill it after a while. I managed to get the snail to crawl onto a fallen leaf (well, it was really more a clump of needles, like what you would find on a pine, fir, or something of that sort) and moved it to a pot that was not currently being used to grow a plant. But when I went back outside later on, the snail had left. Besides some trails on the ground (from when it was wandering on its own, undisturbed by me), there was no trace of it.

It really goes to show that "slow and steady wins the race". Despite their slow, slimy, oozing way of moving, they can still sneak off if given the chance. They're pretty stealthy after all. But in the end, it isn't enough to save them. Snails are cooked and eaten by people. It is a sad fate (and also one that I cannot comprehend).

Labels: accident, death, destiny, distraction, elementary school, fine dining, food, house, library, moral, moving, pet, post, revenge, skills, snail, sneaky

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