All goods things must come to an end. I just finished the Durarara anime yesterday, and was briefly at a loss for what to watch next, before remembering that I'd meant to watch Spice and Wolf, so I'm watching that now. I really hope it gets more exciting; I've only seen two episodes, but right now I don't feel that interested in it.

I always get a little disheartened after finishing a good series. I was really excited while I was watching Eureka Seven, Code Geass, and Boys Over Flowers in the first semester, but once I got close to the end of those shows, I always seemed to enter a gloomy period (might just be coincidental, but I like to think that there's cause and effect going on here). Well, I guess I could easily remedy that by watching and reading nothing but "good" anime and manga. But if I were to always spend my time dabbling in the best of the best, wouldn't I become unable to appreciate how good it was? After all, I just read somewhere earlier today that there has to be dark to see the light.

But anyways, I thought Durarara really came into its own in the second half of the anime (I can only speak in these terms because I haven't read the manga...I would like to read more manga in the future, but it's sometimes hard to find a good one that's already finished and doesn't have a ridiculous amount of chapters.) I liked a lot of the characters, and at first I wasn't sure what I thought of Shizuo because he smoked and seemed to become violent for no reason, though I have as of late become quite fond of him. I'm a big fan of Celty ♥

Though I wouldn't really say that Kida is one of my favorite characters in Durarara, I feel like I have the most connection to him. There were, in the past things he did - or didn't do, and he tries and tries and tries to move on, and yet he's still his own prisoner. It's one thing to forgive someone else, but it's another to forgive yourself...For failing to act at an important moment. What would you rather do? Regret what you've done, or regret what you didn't do?

When I get depressed, which is unfortunately pretty often, all the things I messed up in the past come back to me. It's like I keep opening my wounds all over again even after they healed, just like what I always did with the part on the other side of my knee - you know, on the back of your leg, the place where your leg bends? It often got itchy and I couldn't help but scratch it, and sometimes it turned red and pretty nasty. At least the pain kept me from scratching it, but while it was healing it would be itchy again, and so the wounds never really closed (well, until the weather changed, that usually made it less itchy so I'd finally stop scratching it). The body does have important messages to tell the mind, and I'm not just referring to problems dealing with your past, but also to health problems not having to do with the brain... These days I've seen many people coming down with illnesses and having to be hospitalized...I'm not able to discuss anything more than that, but it has been a very misfortunate time indeed.

Labels: anime, appreciation, celty, characters, depression, durarara, fear, good, health, itchy, kida, past, problem, questions, regret, shizuo

Sadly, I'm not talking about Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy, sorry to disappoint you video gamers out there. XD The weather's been gloomy the last two days, just a grey veil of clouds that blocks the sunlight. I don't like days like that. I think it should either rain, snow, or go back to being blue skies with my favorite kinds of clouds - the voluminous ones with clear edges, light parts and dark parts.

I guess it reflects my mood. I was feeling pretty melancholy yesterday, partially because it is now Finals season, and there's a lot to do, studying and a speech, but I just don't feel like doing it. (I find myself growing lazier and lazier the longer this year goes on. For a while I was actually doing well - I was actually socializing, getting a somewhat decent amount of sleep, was scoring high on my exams - but I've fallen back into a slump.) Or it could be a natural fluctuation in mood.

What's really troubling me, though, is that I'm terrible at dealing with people. It always seems that after I've been friends with someone for a couple of years, I start to notice a lot more of their faults (or is that just a natural consequence from their aging?) and I wonder if that's why my relationships with other people always start to deteriorate. Or maybe it's more because I don't like to make the first move. I might not say hello even if I see someone I know, as I prefer the other person to greet me first, like what happened yesterday. I was helping a classmate with some homework, and we happened to be sitting at a place where a group of friends meets at brunch. I saw two of my friends, though we didn't really say hello to each other. I told my classmate that I had to go and left. Later, at PE, one of my friends, who I hadn't spoken with a brunch, asked why I had left without saying anything. I was rather awkward and defensive when I answered, because at the time, I had reasoned, There's no need to say goodbye to someone you hadn't even said hello to, is there? I wasn't there to socialize, I was there to try and help someone with homework. Maybe it would've been better if I had said something, but
then again, isn't that something I usually do? Just go off without saying anything? Still not used to it by now?

Labels: communication, depression, family, fate stay night, finals, forever alone, friends, mood, pattern, princess lover, problems, relationship, season, strife, talking

I can assure you that the President Abraham Lincoln and his story was much more melancholy than Haruhi Suzumiya could ever be. (Anyone recognize the name of that series? I think the anime was pretty known at one point.)

I didn't know much about Abraham Lincoln before I watched a film created by the History Channel in my history class at school. I could recognize him when I saw a picture, and I knew his nickname was Honest Abe, but besides that I had no idea at all...About what kind of life he had lived.

Abraham Lincoln lost many of the people dear to him when he was still young. I believe he lost two sisters (one of them to childbirth) and his mother. His father didn't treat him too well, seeing as he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps and become a man who used his strength to work, but Lincoln wanted to go and get educated and live the city life.

Abraham Lincoln also fell in love with a woman, but she may have already been engaged to someone else, probably making him feel guilty about the relationship. And then she died during a wave of sickness that swept through the town they were in. Lincoln was very depressed, thinking thoughts of suicide, and his friends tried to keep watch on him to make sure he wouldn't really kill himself.

What was especially unusual was that in the movie, it was mentioned that Lincoln could have had a happy life with a family if the woman he loved hadn't died, and thus might never have become the President. It's pretty bad for him seeing as if he hadn't been unhappy he wouldn't have been a great President there.

I thought it was awfully rude since they said he was ugly (my mom said that too). At least he's recognizable. I probably couldn't tell apart most of the Presidents. I can only recognize the more recent ones and George Washington. I don't have much idea about how the rest of them looked...

And what was also strange was that Abraham Lincoln dreamed of seeing his dead body before he was assassinated. Talk about a creepy premonition.

Whenever I feel down, I think about Lincoln's life and then I can say to myself, "I don't have it that bad." (Sorry, Lincoln, to be using your misfortune, but it does help to have something worse to compare myself to sometimes. I try to avoid it for the most part. I used to care more about my grades in comparison to other people but I don't want to be someone who is always asking others "What did you get?" or someone who keeps on panicking when a test comes. I don't even check my grades online anymore, so when people ask me what my score was, I can only say I don't know. XD)

I've kind of been thinking that I really don't know much about most famous people. I can't say I think about them much except for if I'm studying them in school. (For instance, I don't think I know who most of the musicians I listen to look like.) I've never been someone with celebrity crushes since I feel like they live in too different a world. Little to no hope of meeting them. Being as distant and far from my mind as they usually are (except for maybe voice actors/actresses for animes, but that's a different story), I know very little about their personalities, and so it is hard to picture them as people like who I see in my daily life. And I suppose perhaps as a celebrity it might be hard to really get to know people. How do you know that someone doesn't want to get close to you for your fame or money? (Unless, of course, it was someone you had been friends with before you climbed to the top of the pyramid.)

Labels: abraham lincoln, care, change, comparison, depression, dream, fame, famous, friendship, glory, grades, guilt, haruhi suzumiya, money, people, personality, president, recognize, score, suicide

(NOTE: DON'T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY. I HAVE CHANGED THE NAMES FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR PRIVACY)

Once upon a time, in a far away land called Australia, lived a man named Peter Pan, and a lady named...uh...Untitled. (Because I don't know her name) They lived in a grand house called Versailles. (Okay, so I haven't been there and I wouldn't know what it looks like. But bear with me.) It was glorious, with statues of angels, a maze made entirely out of rectangular green shrubs, many balconies, and even the occasional rubber chicken.

But Peter Pan had a dastardly, devilish, selfish, wicked, oh-so-horrible secret: He had more than one wife. In fact, in another faraway land called China (otherwise known as "Cathay") he had other wives. (Well, he's either divorced from them or was not "officially" married) And he had children that contained genes from the other wives. Untitled had no idea about this, so she skipping along, making daisy chains and singing American Idol karaoke.

And then a most dreadful event happened to Peter Pan and Untitled. Peter Pan did business for a living, and when he had profited he had made enough cash to purchase a house such as Versailles. Now, though, his business had failed and he had lost so much money he was forced to sell his precious Versailles. Untitled still stuck with Peter Pan despite the fact that they would now be moving to a more ordinary apartment.

I believe Peter Pan to be a weak-minded sort of person. Because of this misfortune, Peter Pan was sinking into depression, and he had thoughts of committing suicide. If he had done so, what would have happened to his wives and his children? Terribly unthoughtful of him to just think of himself and not his family. (Well, maybe he did think of his family but I don't know how to read minds, so...) And thus ends the tale of Peter Pan, Untitled, and the house called Versailles.

Actually, there is someone who lived in a neighborhood called Doublebay in Sydney, Australia, but I really shouldn't say any more than that for privacy's sake. I mean I've already probably destroyed people's relationships just by putting this up. So just consider my story of Peter Pan and Untitled as fiction, like it's meant to be. Hehehehe.

I was meaning to post this a lot earlier but recently my Internet is not reliable. It might last for, say, fifteen minutes before it gets ruined and then I have to unplug my router and wait a few minutes, then plug it back in and hopefully it'll work then. It's a real hassle so we might have to get a new router...We took out of one of our old routers so now it's working smoothly, and I was able to post this.

Labels: australia, bad news, business, children, china, depression, house, internet, money, peter pan, polygamy, problem, responsibility, rich, secret, story, suicide, untitled, versailles, wife

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