Although there's a show by the same time, I haven't watched it. I'm simply borrowing the name, that's all. I've often wished I could slow down time, stop it, even rewind it. But there's always things that need to be done, things that are expected of me or that I expect of myself. And when all is said and done, it's the end of the day.

It's been a while since I've gotten to write, so I certainly don't update this blog much anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm just shouting at a wall - seeing as there's no one left to read this except myself - but then again, perhaps the reason why I'm the only one here is because I hardly write anything, or at least nothing particularly of interest. I don't really have the urge to write anymore. It could be because I'm taking Writing for Publication and have written much more than usual this school year, so I've drained any creative energy I had.

Or maybe it's just gone to other pursuits, not necessarily useful ones, considering my capacity for wasting time without getting bored. Well, at least I'm writing for a change. Maybe it's a start.

I've just arrived home from a trip to China, visiting relatives, as is necessary every couple of years. For a long time I'd made up my mind to hate the country, or at least the city of Shanghai, which is mostly due to what memories I had of visiting it. What I remember is...

- Being forced to dine with relatives that I had nothing to say to and who smoked indoors, and gave me gifts that I didn't want, but could not refuse because that would be bad manners

- Not wanting to eat anything except for egg tarts, which were very unhealthy. I was not interested in Chinese food, and still am not, for the most part.

- Being given huge sums of money by relatives, which made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't deserve it, and my mom always tried to take the money from me (she insisted it was for safekeeping, but I was always suspicious)

- Rude people in general (being shoved aside without apology on the street, in the subway station, and such. And vendors yelling at me if I didn't buy anything.)

- Spitting on the ground (you would hear this gagging noise and some person would spit a blob of mucus on the ground. Yuck! At least my old history teacher had the sense to do it in the trash can)

- Being stared at (store workers that would just watch me as I browsed the merchandise. Not comfortable at all)

- Near-death situations (cars, bikes, and people ignoring the red traffic lights, cars insisting on cutting you off when you had the "right of the way". Pretty funny this time since an old man said a very rude word in Chinese to the drivers)

- A general feeling of uneasiness (because of how rushed the locals seemed to be, combined with cigarette smoke and an ugly grey sky)

All of these things were still there this time, but maybe I had a different outlook now. Or maybe I was just tired of hating it. I did get to go to Beijing this time, and Beijing was pretty nice since it had parks - and cats living in them! Beijing even had a blue sky, which astonished me. But it was way too cold, and unfamiliar, and taxi drivers tried to rip us off or would refuse to drive us because of the horrible Beijing traffic jams. I guess I'd become familiar with Shanghai...I'd been there enough times to recognize the sights and sounds, and I even found that I liked nighttime there (it reminded me of Las Vegas, with the lights XD). The place hasn't changed so much. It's me who has changed.

Labels: beijing, blog, change, china, comparison, consequences, energy, familiar, lazy, memories, night, perspective, rush, shanghai, time, writing

Besides occasionally accepting a chip if someone offers them to me, I don't really eat chips unless it's a last resort. But recently my parents bought a box full of Sun Chips. I was curious and tried eating some of the Cheddar Cheese flavor. It reminds me of Cheetos since it leaves orange dust on your hands and it tastes...well...Cheeto-ish. Chips taste so-so but by now I prefer to have a cup of yogurt or a granola bar (I eat the Quaker brand Chewy bars, and my favorite flavor is Chocolate Chip). Even eating salad or grapes or carrots is acceptable since eating it for more than a year got me used to it.

My dad is watching a weird movie. It's kind of scary. A weird guy with glasses is slapping an unhappy-looking lady and yelling at her to "talk" (probably meaning he wants her to reveal a secret) while another guy is swimming in the ocean, trying to escape from Russia, but a ship with guns and a searchlight is looking for him. I don't really like this kind of movie since it's so serious and filled with negative emotions. Also, the people in the movie speak Russian and sometimes French (and seeing as I can understand neither, it just sounds like a jumble of random noises to me, no offense if you are from either country).

It seems like I'm on a crazy streak when it comes to tests. The last two tests, science and history, have both gotten me 100% scores. This is weird behavior for me, so what if the teachers get suspicious of me and accuse me of cheating? Or I might become overconfident, and then get bad test scores again, and be depressed. (That's the natural "valleys and mountains" pattern of my life, I guess) It seems like I have to pay the price of my physical ability for my academic ability, though. At my fastest (back in the 1st trimester of this year) I could run up to 7:50. Now it's all the way back to 8:50. This is just pitiful. I feel like I wasted all that time. Maybe I should go back to my "weekend training" where I run a mile on the track. I don't feel like it, though, since I'm already so tired from PE classes. However, I have the free time...Guess it's a choice I'll have to make.

Right now I'm writing up my WEB application, since my mom wants me to try and get in. Probably she wants me to learn responsibility and leadership, and maybe help me get into a so-called "good college". I would like to be a WEB leader but I'm not sure if I would be good at dealing with so many kids. I mean, I myself didn't absorb everything at my own orientation (you visit the school in August and are given a tour, and play some games with your WEB leaders, which are 8th graders selected to give you a hand in the school year) so I wonder if I would be able to handle it. Well, I'll just hope for the best.

My essay for the application was just plain weird. I hope it doesn't confuse the Beanstalk (Jack and the Beanstalk? You know? My new nickname for my language arts teacher, who is my favorite and I don't want to insult her, but I also want to protect people's privacy from now on), the Camper (My math teacher), the Good One (A 6th grade teacher, whose last name is a Chinese word that roughly stands for things that are "good" such as the sun, men, etc.), or the Ray (A PE teacher who is considered to be tough). Those four are the WEB advisers this year and will be reviewing the applications. I had no idea the Ray was on the WEB team, actually, so that was news to me.

Labels: cheddar cheese, cheetos, chips, consequences, exams, fitness, freaky, grades, language, movie, nickname, privacy, sun chips, WEB

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