I often feel that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some may dispute it, and remind me that I live in the Silicon Valley, the epicenter of the electronic world, not to mention that my neighborhood is one renowned for its school district (and according to my father, who has been to Taiwan, even the people there know that our town is home to excellent schools) and my town is the headquarters of a very famous company. But for me, those are not the things that make a place the place to be.

Only a half-hour's drive away is the city by the bay, the place that Tony Bennett, according to his song's lyrics, left his heart: San Francisco.
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Labels: beach, california, city, confusion, de young, islands, lost, memories, museum, ocean, pier 39, places, san francisco, seashells, silicon valley, surprise, travel, treasure island, tulips

Today, the atmosphere at school was different from usual; it was more somber, to the point of being stifling.

A teacher has died.

He passed away on Friday of a heart attack, after a basketball game. I heard about it from my school's online news and from talk around campus - I wasn't there and I don't know the details. In one way, it's really jolting. He'd been plenty alive just a few months ago. I only remember one thing about him, and that was when we were taking a survey in the cafeteria. (Ha! The only time I get to sit in the cafeteria is during PE CLASS. I never actually eat in there. There are a few people who do, but most of us are outside, rain or shine.) He'd been barking at us, something about putting down the pens, or passing up the papers...I don't remember clearly.

I wish I had something else to remember about him. But I don't. And I never will.

It's startling in another way, too, to think that someone who was there one day would be gone, dead, so quickly. It wasn't like cancer or some slow terminal illness where you could see him weakening by the day. No, it was just like that. So fast. It takes so long for people to truly live, do more than just exist. Yet it can be taking away so quickly.

And at the same time, somehow I wasn't surprised. I almost feel as if I'd expected it to happen. I'd known since late 2010 that once my guidance counselor, who'd been on maternity leave, came back, then the lady substituting for my counselor would take over as a PE teacher (the teacher who died was only teaching for the first semester this year; I don't know why, maybe one of his students does), which was a little funny because the substitute counselor/new PE teacher is now pregnant herself. (And that was sudden too. I hadn't realized she was pregnant until she said so recently.) Not knowing why the teacher was not going to teach PE anymore, I wondered if perhaps he was planning to go away...But I didn't think that death would be his vehicle.

In fact, I HAVE seen a similar thing happen before, with my fourth grade teacher. I don't remember too much about her anymore, just that she had short blonde hair, was sometimes in a pretty bad mood, and had a jar of butterscotch candies to give out as a reward. She got injured a couple of times - one time I think a box fell onto her face and she wore sunglasses to cover up the bruise. The last time I saw her was on the day of our field trip to a museum. I thought she'd seemed fine.

After that, she was gone. And I later found out that she had died. The school never told us why exactly she died. Some students came up with all sorts of ideas. I recall that one classmate of mine said that perhaps her boyfriend had murdered her. I know nothing. Just that she is dead.

So the recent death of that teacher makes me feel queasy. I wonder a little if I might've caused in some way. A lot of things in my life have followed cycles. Is it an odd coincidence? Was it all predetermined? Have I, by speculating, actually set things in motion? Am I just reading into it too much? This isn't an anime. I'm not Haruhi Suzumiya.

Or am I?

Labels: cafeteria, cycle, death, deja vu, fate, health, heart attack, illness, memories, PE class, sick, survey, teacher, thoughts

Although there's a show by the same time, I haven't watched it. I'm simply borrowing the name, that's all. I've often wished I could slow down time, stop it, even rewind it. But there's always things that need to be done, things that are expected of me or that I expect of myself. And when all is said and done, it's the end of the day.

It's been a while since I've gotten to write, so I certainly don't update this blog much anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm just shouting at a wall - seeing as there's no one left to read this except myself - but then again, perhaps the reason why I'm the only one here is because I hardly write anything, or at least nothing particularly of interest. I don't really have the urge to write anymore. It could be because I'm taking Writing for Publication and have written much more than usual this school year, so I've drained any creative energy I had.

Or maybe it's just gone to other pursuits, not necessarily useful ones, considering my capacity for wasting time without getting bored. Well, at least I'm writing for a change. Maybe it's a start.

I've just arrived home from a trip to China, visiting relatives, as is necessary every couple of years. For a long time I'd made up my mind to hate the country, or at least the city of Shanghai, which is mostly due to what memories I had of visiting it. What I remember is...

- Being forced to dine with relatives that I had nothing to say to and who smoked indoors, and gave me gifts that I didn't want, but could not refuse because that would be bad manners

- Not wanting to eat anything except for egg tarts, which were very unhealthy. I was not interested in Chinese food, and still am not, for the most part.

- Being given huge sums of money by relatives, which made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't deserve it, and my mom always tried to take the money from me (she insisted it was for safekeeping, but I was always suspicious)

- Rude people in general (being shoved aside without apology on the street, in the subway station, and such. And vendors yelling at me if I didn't buy anything.)

- Spitting on the ground (you would hear this gagging noise and some person would spit a blob of mucus on the ground. Yuck! At least my old history teacher had the sense to do it in the trash can)

- Being stared at (store workers that would just watch me as I browsed the merchandise. Not comfortable at all)

- Near-death situations (cars, bikes, and people ignoring the red traffic lights, cars insisting on cutting you off when you had the "right of the way". Pretty funny this time since an old man said a very rude word in Chinese to the drivers)

- A general feeling of uneasiness (because of how rushed the locals seemed to be, combined with cigarette smoke and an ugly grey sky)

All of these things were still there this time, but maybe I had a different outlook now. Or maybe I was just tired of hating it. I did get to go to Beijing this time, and Beijing was pretty nice since it had parks - and cats living in them! Beijing even had a blue sky, which astonished me. But it was way too cold, and unfamiliar, and taxi drivers tried to rip us off or would refuse to drive us because of the horrible Beijing traffic jams. I guess I'd become familiar with Shanghai...I'd been there enough times to recognize the sights and sounds, and I even found that I liked nighttime there (it reminded me of Las Vegas, with the lights XD). The place hasn't changed so much. It's me who has changed.

Labels: beijing, blog, change, china, comparison, consequences, energy, familiar, lazy, memories, night, perspective, rush, shanghai, time, writing

There's lots of things on this planet that are unique to it. The most obvious one is, of course, life, for as far as we know, Earth is the only place with living things. But having all this life also has its downside.

Like all the waste.

I'm sure you've seen some of it. Dog poop left next to sidewalks because dog owners don't bother to pick it up. And most certainly your own waste in the toilet. (I know it's disgusting to talk about that, so I won't dwell on it.)

And not just the sort of waste that animals naturally have to get rid of. Us humans have really changed. We used to live as hunter-gatherers. Then we figured out that we could use plants to our advantage by planting them on purpose and raising them until we could harvest them. Eventually we didn't have to think about survival all the time, so we were able to explore other things that interested us. We drew and painted, we sang songs and made instruments, we came up with religions and we tried to treat diseases and we came up with all sorts of inventions to speed things up. We wanted more time to ourselves. We came up with the printing press so people wouldn't have to painstakingly copy text. We hitched carriages to horses, and then we came up with cars, trains, and planes. We turned from writing letters to calling each other on the phone to emailing, and nowadays many people send text messages.

Faster, faster, faster. It's all getting too fast now, I think. I feel like there's never enough time. Everything is rushing on by. I used to be such a big fan of Pokemon. I used to await every new game eagerly, counting down the months and weeks and days. Now I don't even know about the most recent starter Pokemon. I got caught up in other things and didn't have the time to keep up with Pokemon anymore. I guess I gave up. Sometimes if I have the free time I'll pick up an older Pokemon game like Pokemon LeafGreen (which is for the Gameboy Advance. Do you remember when that was the main handheld for Nintendo, back before the DS came out?). But other than that, my old devotion for Pokemon seems to have died. It's only ever stirred up again when I see something on the Internet that makes me remember those good old days.

And since we always keep replacing our older things with newer stuff, the old things get forgotten. We leave them to collect dust in our houses (I am very guilty of that) or we throw them out. All of it really does pile up. We've got so much of it in some places that you'll see nothing but trash. The Earth is big. But don't forget that there are many, many people, too. And all those things we threw away and gave up on have to go somewhere. They stay right here on this planet. They don't magically wink out of existence, and it's not like we send all our trash into Outer Space where we can forget about it.

You don't have to become a vegetarian or never buy anything ever again. Just be a little mindful about what you do. If you see some trash on the ground or if you have some of your own, throw it away so it won't somehow get into a river and get eaten by a whale who will later end up washed up on the beach with a bunch of plastic bags inside it. If you see something and suddenly feel an urge to buy it, think for a moment whether it's something you'll treasure forever or if it's something you'll buy and never touch again. (I used to be pretty spendthrift, but nowadays I hardly buy anything. But that's mostly because I want to save money now so I can retire earlier) If you're taking a shower, even if it's cold and you don't want to get out, be a little braver and step out. (This is definitely something I need to work on.) And if drink bottled water, switch to a reusable one. I'm doing that myself in the near future.

If you have some time to spare on a weekend, don't just sit in front of your computer screen and go on the Internet, which is what I'm doing at the moment. When next September rolls around, you might want to consider taking part in cleaning up a creek or beach or some other waterway (I did that just the other day, for a school project, and thought it wasn't bad. At least it's fun to get to hold one of those trash grabber things). You'll get some fresh air and find some rather interesting garbage lying around. Just do a little something...To save the world, or to feel good about yourself, or because seeing waste is such an eyesore, or, as I would say, because you're alive and you ought to do more than just take up space. I've been doing that for all these years. But at least I can still salvage the future.

Labels: change, coastal cleanup day, earth, future, help, humans, invention, memories, planet, pokemon, speed, stuff, time, trash, waste, water bottle

I came up with the title of this post based on the lyrics of one of the songs in the anime ROD the TV (ROD stands for Read or Die). Although the song is in Japanese, I believe part of the lyrics mean "nostalgic wind".

On one particular day, I was on the second floor of one of the various buildings we have on my high school campus. If there's one good thing about this campus, it's probably having a second floor. Sure, it's a hassle to get to a classroom on the second floor (and even worse if you happen to have a locker up there - unless you have classes near to the locker), but it does provide a nice view. It's a good place to people-watch. No one suspects that they are actually being observed from the top. (And I noticed for the first time that there are just a few flowers in the square area around a tree. I never really saw it before because I've usually been thinking about something else, or someone has been sitting there, blocking my view of the flowers.)

It was a pleasant day. The sky was blue, even if there weren't any impressive clouds around (I remember last year I was always staring up at the clouds when I ran during PE. A part of me got angry because I didn't have my camera around and would miss good photo opportunities, but another part of me was just glad to see something beautiful). There had been a breeze blowing. I stood by the railing and looked out at the elementary school that is next to my high school. Even if that wasn't the elementary school I attended, it still brought back a wave of longing for the old days. It's hard to remember what it was like to play on the playground every day and still feel like it wasn't enough time; and I try to remember what it was like to actually have SSR, Silent Sustained Reading, every day.

And pen pals, that was something we only had in elementary school... Just the other day, I read the story "Correspondence", about a girl named Henrietta "Henky" Evans who writes letters to a boy in South America. (He never responds, though.) I was thinking that it would be nice to have a pen pal. My mom doesn't understand what's so great about writing snail mail. She thinks it's a waste of time and money (for stamps) to write to people who live nearby. But even that's kind of nice. It's exciting getting a letter in the mail from a friend.

I wonder why we never spent a really long time in school sending letters to our pen pals. We would maybe send a letter, get a reply, and maybe send one more, maybe not. It seems like we never really kept up the correspondence for long. (And since I was young and ignorant at the time, as well as not knowing where my pen pals lived, I had to rely on the school to get my letter to my pen pal.) I really think there ought to be a program of sending letters to a pen pal for older students, like what there was in "Correspondence", not just the occasional time where you have to do it in elementary school. It would give me a little something to look forward to. And I might meet a wonderful friend.

Labels: correspondence, elementary school, high school, letter, lost art, lyrics, mail, memories, nostalgia, pen pal, rod the tv, second floor, song, view

My mother sometimes requests things from the library for me. Oftentimes she gets test prep books and things like that, which I try to avoid touching unless she bothers me about it. But this time she got me the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, a book I have been meaning to read for some time.

This book has made me see success in a different way. I have to say, I am like the majority of people - I like to hear those stories about a poor person who works hard and is talented and becomes successful (rich and happy). But really, you need more than talent to be successful.

What happens to you is shaped a lot by the kinds of circumstances you have. Sometimes it takes a lot of luck for you to become successful. In the book, there is a list of the 75 richest people in the world. Many people were wealthy because they happened to be royalty. But there were also quite a few Americans, all born at about the same time (around 1830's to 1840's). This was a good time to be born if you were going to be an entrepreneur.

I've been thinking how a person's experiences can also change their personality. My parents have said that I was placed in a combination class (meaning a class consisting of students of two different grades) because when I was in kindergarten I was thought to be mature enough for it or something like that. I'm probably more afraid to talk to teachers now that I'm older than when I was younger... It was a struggle for me, the time after one of my closest friends moved away, in fifth grade. I had other friends, but they had become closer to their other friends, and I didn't want to be a third wheel, a tagalong. I turned to books and to the Internet (and ever since I've been hooked on the computer...) and became rather reclusive. I didn't want to make friends, since I felt that I would lose them again, and even if I had wanted to, I'm not sure I would have been able to. I was losing my ability to communicate.

There was a time that I was angry at my friend for moving away, and at her father (because he had gotten a job elsewhere, and in order to keep the family together, they had moved). And then there was a time when I was really sad. But eventually I subconsciously had moved on, and I started to mingle again. (It was slow, though, and one of the friends I made that year moved away the very next year...) I guess there's a part of me that fears getting involved and attached to things because I suspect that I will lose them. But I hope I can become brave enough to overcome this.

I feel oddly peaceful nowadays, after having gone on a few walks by myself. I visited the recreational sort of place in my town. Unfortunately, it wasn't the quite oasis that I had suspected. The pool was quite loud since there seemed to be some kids from summer camps there. There were older people playing volleyball (meaning older than the kids swimming, not meaning senior citizens) and there was a group of adults walking over to some benches. (I kept wondering why they weren't at work. I mean, it was a weekday, after all. My mom says they were on a group outing or something like that.) But it was still nice to be by the creek. I'm grateful to photography because it has made me pay more attention to little things, and I appreciate the beauty of nature much more than I used to. And I can take my time thinking. I feel like I'm reliving my life, and returning to my old self. Or maybe I'm discovering my true self for the first time.

Labels: bravery, circumstances, discovery, emotions, fear, friends, introverted, luck, malcolm gladwell, memories, outliers, peace, personality, success, thoughts, timing, truth, walk

You would think that, since video games are supposed to entertain you, they would relieve stress, rather than causing more of it. But I've certainly had my share of worries due to the games that I've played.

Every day, I check up on my Animal Crossing: Wild World to see if it has rained in the game. (If you've been keeping track, there is a previous post of mine which speaks of this, so bear with me if you've already heard of it.) Over the years I have cultivated a grand garden of flowers in my town, which I am very proud of it. And as I always tend to get too attached to things, even those that may seem trivial, I can't part with it, not after I've spent so much time and effort keeping the flowers alive. I've grown tired of having to take care of them, day in and day out (the ones that are brown and dying must be watered, so that the next day they will be healthy again).

I have already let go of Nintendogs. That was a bit easier because the worst that could happen would be the dog running away (they don't die, nor do they ever mature. Rather unrealistic). The dog would surely come back after a while. In this case I would not lose my house or anything like that, so I wasn't particularly concerned.

Eventually I expect I'll abandon Animal Crossing completely, either because it falls off my list of priorities or I finally come to terms with loss. But even though I already know what will happen, I can't help but be saddened by the future.

During my 6th grade year, I went to a makeshift YMCA daycare after school, located in a place called the Multi-Use room where school announcements and assemblies take place, since I wasn't trusted to walk home by myself and my parents wouldn't be able to pick me up until 5 pm, sometimes 6, in most cases. I would finish whatever homework I could (we could use the school library if we needed textbooks). At first, in the beginning of the year, I might sometimes run around backstage and play hide and seek, but after a while we were told not to go backstage anymore, so that put an end to it. We also played some games, like Apples to Apples. It can be quite fun if you have enough people. (Unfortunately you need four people to play it properly, and in my family there are only three if my mom would actually agree to play. So I never get the chance to play it.) But as the year wore on, one of the two people in charge of this YMCA would bring in his Nintendo Gamecube more frequently, and we would play Mario Kart Double Dash or Super Smash Bros. Melee or this X-Men game. I did have a good time playing the video games, although it meant I was that much more impatient for them when I wasn't playing.

I did hear some exciting news recently. There's a new kind of Nintendo DS coming out - it's called the 3DS, and so the graphics will be quite nice. There are games on the way, too, like Nintendogs + Cats. Because of the camera built into the 3DS, the dog will actually be able to recognize your face. And there's also a new Animal Crossing that looks nice. The characters you can make are now taller and thinner (I was never too fond of the chibi-ish, short people). I'd really like to try these games out, so I guess I'm going to have to get a 3DS. But this also makes me wonder if I'll even have the time to play them.

What really spurred me on to write this post was the problems I was having with my Sims 3 today. I was notified that there was a game update available for the Sims 3 World Adventures (an expansion pack I had purchased), so I decided to update it. After that I figured I should try to play the game. But then I was told that my expansion was not compatible with my base game. I waited for it to update, but it didn't do anything. Eventually I started rooting around online to see what I could find. It seems that other people were having the same problem, too. I finally figured out that I ought to download a patch to my Sims 3 game, which fixed the game launcher, so I should be able to play now (it has finally stopped telling me my game is incompatible and everything is showing up as usual). I was really worried there thinking I might have to uninstall everything (although I was prepared for this, and backed up my files on my external hard drive). I'm so glad that it's been fixed now.

Labels: 3ds, animal crossing, apples to apples, backstage, games, garden, memories, nintendo ds, nintendogs, patch, pride, problem, routine, sims 3, stress, wild world, YMCA

Saturday was not such a relaxing day as I had expected. My mom wanted me to come with her to attend a seminar, which would have been okay, except that it was in another city, so it took about fifteen to twenty minutes to get to the seminar location.

Before he started talking, the man speaking in the seminar asked who would be fine with hearing it in Mandarin, and many of the people in the room raised their hands. Then he asked who can only hear it in English, and I was the only person to raise my hand. (Sadly, my grasp of Mandarin is still rather lacking, what with us mainly speaking the Shanghai dialect at home. English, being my main language, is much easier for me to comprehend) I hope that I didn't inconvenience the others there by totally changing the tide. If I hadn't raised my hand then, the seminar would've been conducted in Mandarin, which might be easier for the other people to understand.

After the seminar, since we were in the area, we had ramen for lunch, and then we went to a library. I haven't been to this library for a long time. I used to go when I was younger, when I went with my mom to her workplace. I feel that the town is a peaceful place. It has these buildings (which I believe are probably a school) with murals on them, and I would like to live in one of the townhouses facing the library. The only setback is the odd smell. My parents told me that there is a landfill nearby and that you can smell the trash from the library. Although I don't like such smells, I suppose I could get used to it, if I were to move to that town.

While we were driving, I noticed that there was a large cloud of grey smoke in the sky. Something had probably exploded or a fire had been started. It seems that I see these sorts of things a lot. There was one time years back when I saw orangish smoke coming from the mountains near my home. And when I was in Australia last summer, I saw smoke coming from someplace as well.

Fire is a fearsome thing. I have been burned several times in the past, although it was not from a fire exactly...The first time was when I was in fifth grade, I believe. We were having one of those themed days - probably Colonial Day that time. We were doing some woodburning. But I was holding the little pen-like device the wrong way, so I burned myself immediately. Not a pleasant experience, but I can't remember whether it hurt a lot anymore.

Then, when I took cooking back in seventh grade, I was burned when I accidentally touched a cookie sheet that was still hot. I always seem to get injured doing something ridiculous. Like how I pulled my leg muscles while rolling around in bed. And how I banged my knee when escaping from the door (the doorbell had just been rung, and I usually flee when someone is there, unless I've been expecting a person). I wonder if someday I'll really get in serious trouble through my careless actions.

Labels: burn, careless, chinese, cloud, danger, door, english, foul smell, injury, library, living, mandarin, memories, seminar, smoke, town, trash

That's a phrase that I saw in the book The Heights, the Depths, and Everything in Between by Sally Nemeth. And I thought it was really very true.

Life can give a person a lot of happiness, but also a lot of pain. If we didn't have the good times to keep us up, the sorrow in our lives would take over. There are still things that I've done in the past that continue to haunt me. If I didn't have good memories that I could recall, I don't know how I could keep from being swallowed.

My mom says that she likes to watch funny dramas so she can have something to laugh about. I find her interest in watching dramas rather amusing. She checked out this book from the library about a guy named Jerry in Australia. (There was a picture of him visiting the Twelve Apostles, which are these rocks in the ocean - unfortunately there are no longer twelve of them - which I had visited myself last summer)

My parents also seem to know about Super Junior. And then my mom said she knew about one of the guys from SS501 and how he was in Boys over Flowers or something like that. My dad, on the other hand, for a short time, kept mentioning someone called Angela Baby.

There really aren't that many differences between teenagers and middle-aged people. Both of them like...
- Asian dramas
- Social networking sites (Facebook, Kaixin, etc.)
- Being selfish

In fact, I wonder if that means that adults are immature or if that teenagers are actually middle-aged in their mindset.

Well, my mom had said that the older you get, the more you recede and become more childlike...Like slot machines, for instance. They have bright, cute pictures (cherries, bananas, diamonds, etc.) and make amusing noises. In a way they are like toys. No, I take that back - they ARE toys. Toys that take your money. XD

I've been watching an anime called Special A the past few days, and it's been pretty good. But it has a lot of similarities to Skip Beat, which I have also watched (and am currently reading the manga of).
Both...
- are in the Hana to Yume magazine
- have clueless heroines
- have heroines who are out to beat someone (Kyoko wants to top Sho, while Hikari wants to defeat Kei)
- have scenes where a character has a very evil aura
And so on. It's always possible to pick out similarities between stories. I guess it's because of the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" idea. After Harry Potter came the Lightning Thief. I haven't read the Olympians but I've heard that both involve half-bloods and such things. So it seems to very common for people to borrow one another's ideas.

Labels: age, cry, drama, happiness, ideas, k-pop, laugh, life, memories, pain, similar, skip beat, special a, teenagers, the heights the depths and everything in between, twelve apostles

There's this song that goes something like "I left my heart in San Francisco" (which I guess I can understand, because I think San Francisco is a nice city, despite apparently having a history of being notorious place). And I thought it was suitable considering what I was thinking about earlier.

The common belief is that being homesick will make a vacation miserable for a person. But I don't think that's necessarily the case. It's true, during the first one or two days of Yosemite, I was trying hard not to burst into desperate sobs, because I was unaccustomed to the rush of Yosemite, the horrible-smelling bathtubs, the thin walls of the tent (meaning that you could hear any loud noise being made elsewhere), and the lack of sympathy from much of the other people (judging from their excited attitudes, since I try to avoid pouring out my heart and soul to people I do not know well).

As is the unusual case here, after a few days, I realized that I would be going home soon, and with this thought in my mind, I acquired a much more positive attitude toward the Yosemite trip. Isn't it funny how wanting to go home can become your motivation? I kind of figured that if I had fun the time would pass faster and I could go home and sleep in my nice old bed and get to take a warm shower (the showers were so cold, it was warmer when you weren't showering than when you were showering...). And in this way I was able to enjoy the trip after all, despite being very paranoid for much of the time. I was very fearful during the hiking when we had to clamber up rocks (how precarious! One false move and you would fall all the way to the valley floor) and also when exploring caves (you could slip and break your bones or bang your head on the ceiling! Or you would at least end up with really dirty pants and gloves). But at the same time feeling the adrenaline rush was a good thing since it made me feel adventurous. For much of my life I had been craving something exciting. This is very contradictory considering that I'm a person that likes normality and regular comforting rhythms in their life.

Just the other night, I closed my eyes. I began to imagine that I was back in Yosemite again. I could imagine the covers on my bed turning into the top of the sleeping bag, and the quiet of the room turning into the annoying dripping and banging of the heater... For some reason this gave me a kind of comfort while also making me feel very nostalgic. I wonder if perhaps the reason why I keep waking up really early, like 7:00 am, when I don't need to get up until 7:45, is that my mind thinks, "Oh no! I am so late for the breakfast at Yosemite!" but that's not the case at all.

My parents said that maybe some other time, like in 2011, we could go to Yosemite again. I'd like to go back to Yosemite, but I feel like if I went back there, I wouldn't want to leave. I'd like my days to pass in a national park, the way some people spend a lot of time in Yellowstone, watching the wolves with their binoculars. I'd like to be somewhere where I can see the stars as clear as day and where the trees make the air delightfully fresh. And as dear as home is to me, that place is not here.

Labels: adrenaline, adventure, breakfast, danger, excitement, homesick, late, memories, morning, national park, nostalgia, shower, sleeping bag, song, sounds, surprise, trip, yellowstone, yosemite

As the STAR tests are coming up, I have been going over some released questions from previous years to try and refresh my memory of the various subjects. (STAR stands for Standardized Testing And Reporting. It is a test taken in California.) I was rather concerned about science especially, because the last time I took the science STAR test, I didn't score as well as I had hoped. And my science teacher had said it would cover science from grades 5-8, which was of great concern to me since I don't really remember much of what I learned in elementary school anymore. All I can remember are vague names and ideas, like Ohlone (a Native American tribe, if I remember correctly), the Revolutionary War, and something about the organs of the human body. I keep thinking of the word spleen, for whatever reason, but I have no idea where it is, what it looks like, or its function anymore.

I was going over the language arts released test questions, and there was a part from How I got to Be Perfect, written by Jean Kerr (at least, that's what I think, I was rather confused by the content of the heading, but anyways).

"The dog that gave us the most trouble was a beagle named Murphy. As far as I'm concerned, the first thing he did wrong was to turn into a beagle. I had seen him bounding around on the other side of a pet-shop window, and I went in and asked the man, 'How much is that adorable fox terrier in the window?' Did he say, 'That adorable fox terrier is a beagle'? No, he said, 'Ten dollars, lady.' Now, I don't mean to say one word against beagles. They have rights just like other people. But it is a bit of a shock when you bring home a small ball of fluff in a shoebox, and three weeks later it's as long as the sofa.

Murphy was the first dog I ever trained personally, and I was delighted at the enthusiasm with which he took to the newspaper. It was sometime later that we discovered, to our horror, that - like so many dogs - he had grasped the letter but not the spirit of the thing. Until the very end of his days he felt a real sense of obligation whenever he saw a newspaper - any newspaper - and it didn't matter where it was. I can't bring myself to go into the details, except to mention that we were finally compelled to keep all the papers in the bottom of the icebox."

I find it rather interesting reading the stories from past STAR tests. It seemed like there was quite a bit about the dangers of the sun. There were advertisements for sunscreen and how to apply it, as well as advice for how to avoid being damaged by UVA or UVB rays. I don't put on sunscreen as often as I should...Although I may not get sunburns that much, it is possible that I'll end up with skin cancer and wrinkles, which are both problems that don't show up right away. (Then again, my skin already has problems and my hands are quite wrinkly - although I was told that had to do with my hands being small so the skin is not stretched as tightly across my bones)

This morning I was thinking about something that I hadn't thought of for a while. It started out with me wondering if someday I should take Oral Composition (though the idea was soon dismissed in my head, for not only do I still lack confidence in my public speaking abilities, I also would be behind those who had taking Oral Comp in 9th grade, and anyways I was planning to take Photography soon as I had the chance). And then I remembered that I had seen a kid in PE who looked kind of like someone I used to know. I would always stare at the back of his head until he turned around so I could see his face. And even though it was impossible for him to be that person (since this boy was in a lower grade) I always waited and looked, and was greatly disappointed. I wonder why? I guess I'm still really stuck to my past. I wish I could have those carefree days back again. I haven't seen a person who I was friends with in elementary school for so long. Perhaps he moved...But I am sure he must still live fairly close by, for I thought I saw him at Target once. (If you want to see people you know, go to Target, the library, or the San Francisco Airport. I've seen many acquaintances at these three locations.)

Labels: beagle, dog, elementary school, familiar, friends, health, interesting, memories, memory, moving, newspaper, people, recognize, science, score, skin, STAR testing, sunlight, training, wrinkles

The Call of the Wild is a book by Jack London that features a dog called Buck. I can't remember clearly whether I've read the book or not, but I think I might have. It was mentioned in the book Nothing But the Truth by Avi.

I haven't read much of Nothing But the Truth yet. What I do know is that the main character is a boy named Philip Malloy who is not very interested in language arts, and is rather disdainful towards The Call of the Wild. Indeed, he wrote something rather interesting as an answer to a test question. Here's a part from the book.

Question four: What is the significance of Jack London's choice in making Buck, the dog in The Call of the Wild, the focus of his novel? Is the dog meant to be symbolic? Explain your answer. Can people learn from this portrayal of a dog? Expand on these ideas.

Philip's answer: The significance of Buck in Jack London's novel The Call of the Wild is that Buck is symbolic of a cat. You might think that cats have nothing to do with the book, but that is the point. Dogs are willing to sit around and have writers write about them, which, in my personal opinion, makes them dumb. I think cats are smart. Cats don't like cold. A book that takes up so much time about a dog is pretty dumb. The book itself is a dog. That is what people can learn from Jack London's novel The Call of the Wild.

Although I find his response to the question amusing, it does show that he wasn't so serious about the book, and his teacher didn't find it funny at all. If I were to become a teacher, I suppose I might end up having to deal with students like him. I wonder, how would I grade students, if I were a teacher? Would I grade them strictly by set standards, or would I give them points for making me laugh?

Well, speaking of "What if", my teacher asked us an interesting question today. Here is the scenario.

- You are stranded in the desert with a total stranger. (You have never met them, you know nothing about them.)
- You have only enough water to keep one person alive (never mind how long for).
Your choice: Do you drink the water and save yourself, give it to the stranger and save him/her, or do you share the water and BOTH of you die?

Perhaps a person's answer to this question reflects their own values and personality.

I said that I would give all the water to the stranger. I have already seen many beautiful things, for I have traveled far and wide - I was even able to see the city of Sydney, my namesake. And I have seen small but beautiful things in my own hometown. I have also gotten to make friends (even if many of them have moved away, and it is hard to keep in contact, I still have memories, and I will cherish them). I have been able to learn to play instruments and learn to read and write and learn to laugh. I have already made some of my dreams reality. I still have goals I have not achieved, but I have already had so much. And I believe it is more than some people will ever get. If I give them the chance to live, perhaps then they can go on to do those things, to have some happiness.

One of my classmates said, "Well, what if the stranger is a criminal? Then would you want to save them?" I may be flattering myself by saying this, but I think perhaps if I gave them the water, then he/she would be touched by noble sacrifice, and would want to be a better person. He/she could go on to make changes in the world. I want to be able to inspire someone. (Though dying isn't the most ideal way of doing so, it is still a way.) And I can die knowing that I saved someone's life, protected the miracle that is the beating of our hearts.

Labels: avi, book, cat, choice, death, dog, dreams, hypothetical, inspire, laugh, life, memories, nothing but the truth, opinion, question, sacrifice, scenario, teacher, the call of the wild, water

CORRECTION: Whoops, this is actually the 299th post. My bad.
This post marks 300 posts in this blog. It's amazing how much I've been able to write over time, and I'm glad that I got this far. I hope you've enjoyed the ride too.

I thought I had better back up some of my posts on my computer, in case Blogger ever blinks out of Internet existence or my blog accidentally gets deleted or something like that. I was looking through my posts and I realized I had used the title "Walking on the Moon" twice. Oopsy. I try not to ever repeat post names, but I unintentionally do so... I guess this is what happens when your quantity gets too big. As for the quality, I hope it has not gone down over time. When I look back at some of my posts, I think, "Oh, that was a fun time, but it feels like so long ago." There are some times when I don't have much to write about, like the post "Ansel Adams", when I was lacking for inspiration, and it was a drag to write the post. (I felt like I should write something, to prevent me getting rusty from less practice writing) And there are also times when I have so many things to write about, I'm churning out posts everyday and I feel like I'm on top of the world. I wonder if I can grasp that feeling again.

There's something I'm always wondering about, and that is my appetite. It seems that even if I eat too much at one time and get full, later on I'll feel hungry again. (I might not really be hungry, only as soon as I see something yummy, I feel the urge to eat it.) I guess I have to ration what I eat since it seems I will always get hungry at certain times regardless of how much I ate earlier. This is rather dangerous and makes me feel like a fish or something. I bet my fish would keep eating beyond their capacities if I gave them a ton of food. (That's why I tend to "starve" them by only giving them the bare minimum at feeding time. I don't even feed them daily.)

While I was walking home today, I overheard a girl talking about how her dog had vomited. (Sorry to give you that mental picture if you were eating) I kind of thought about how people really still behave a lot like animals. I've heard dogs can sneeze and cough too (not sure about cats), like us. Both animals and humans scratch themselves when they're itchy. And we certainly do vomit as well. In the end, no matter how humans try to control and dominate and become "civilized", they're still animals.

I remembered something today that I hadn't thought about in a long time. When I was in elementary school, I used to go the YMCA daycare on the campus after school, where I stayed until my parents came back from work and could pick me up. There were sometimes questions we could answer, for instance, since I mentioned itches earlier, there was once a question, "Do you scratch an itch or itch a scratch?" We would write our answer on a slip of paper, as well as our name, and put it in a plastic box. Then, one day, one of the people working at the YMCA (we called them "leaders"), would randomly pick out a piece of paper where the question was answered correctly (I believe it was sorted for correct answers first), and then the person or people chosen would get a prize of some sort. It feels like a long time ago now.

Even sixth grade seems far away. I still have plenty of memories, but they gradually become fuzzier over time, more surreal, more distant. After a while I end up thinking, "Those were great times. And I'll probably never have them again." I still enjoy things in my daily life. But it's rather clouded by all the knowledge of the world you get, because when you're young everything's fresh and simple, everything is clearly defined. The lines get blurred when you're older, unless you can still keep that innocence, and I long for those days when things were not complicated. I don't know if I can have that kind of life again. I think that you don't realize how nice it is to be young until you get older.

I feel worn out of having to deal with stresses and concerns, and that's why I want to retire. I'd thought that if I didn't have to work any longer, and be able to focus my attentions on the little things, things that I want to do but don't get around to doing, things would be easier. Maybe they would be, and maybe they wouldn't. I'd still like to see for myself. And I don't want to wait more than fifty years for it.

Labels: 300, appetite, blog, complicated, fish, food, innocence, inspiration, life, memories, old, retirement, scratch an itch, simplicity, stress, time, walking on the moon, winner, YMCA, youth

That is what the city of Vancouver was described as. Last night was the opening ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Vancouver is apparently one of the most populated places that far north. I have visited Vancouver once in the past, years back, when my family was visiting my dad's friend's family. I can't remember that much about it anymore. I guess I was too young back then to appreciate the beauty of Canada anyways. I'd like to visit Canada again, but I'm not sure when I'll get a good opportunity.

My memories of that time are really quite hazy because I thought I had visited a tower in Vancouver. However, that had happened in Seattle, not Vancouver. I remember that my family was going to eat lunch in the restaurant of the tower (Space Needle, I believe it was called) but there was too long of a waiting time so instead we went to a small shop where I bought a bagel. It was a good bagel, I recall.

Well, I should probably get back to the subject of the Olympics before I lose my thought process. I watched the people representing each country walk in. Everything was announced in French first, then English, which I was pleased by. There aren't a lot of countries interested in the Winter Olympics compared to the Summer Olympics, but I'm still excited by it.

I noticed that some countries seemed to have a lot of people, like Russia, Germany, the USA, Japan, Canada (but of course, they're the hosts!), and so on. On the other hand, some countries only had one or two athletes. And India, despite having such a huge population, still had very few athletes (though there was a decent crowd for China). Is India not that good at sports or something? D: I do hear that they play cricket, though. But that's not really a winter sport.

I'd really like to go the Olympics myself sometime. Particularly the Summer Olympics. It's true, you can easily watch from the comfort of your home, and the camera can get closer to the people than you would be able to from your seat in the actual stadiums, but it would be nice to really be there. To really see and hear everything for yourself and to be able to look wherever you want, not just what the camera shows you. And to really be able to wave back at the athletes as they come walking out.

You know, I've dreamed of myself doing athletic things like skating or running. But I wonder if I'd ever be able to achieve such a thing.

I once said that I was interested in becoming a janitor to my parents. I think being a janitor is a noble job. You keep schools and other public places clean, even though it's hard work that must constantly be done and not necessarily for a great amount of pay. In fact, I would rather be a janitor than a soldier. A soldier is a noble job too. But I think sometimes when you get out there, and kill innocent people, and see people's fear, and be horrified by death and starvation and disease, it wouldn't seem so spiffy. I would think, "Is it really worth it for the 'great good' to be doing this? People are really, really suffering."

My father told me that he didn't think I could be a janitor because I didn't have the stamina. And he even went so far as to say that my talents would be wasted if I became a janitor. That may be so, but it was discouraging to me. I really hate to be told what I can't do. People's expectations and words can really build fences around you, fences that are barbed and would injure you terribly to climb over. But I guess that's part of what makes it exciting to chase your dreams. It's showing people that you can do things no one thought you could ever do and overcoming challenges to become a better person that is so great, kind of like people who are addicted to getting adrenaline rushes... I want to do something amazing, to leave my mark on the world, or to at least feel a sense of self-accomplishment. I think just having a small taste of victory would be enough to make me feel like life was worth living. Perhaps being a janitor doesn't seem like the most stunning, life-changing job, but you never know. One of my school janitors was able to run a 4:25 mile, back in the day. I could write a book about my experiences. I could start changes in the school The possibilities are endless. How else can a mountain be made out of a molehill?

Labels: aiming high, bagel, canada, challenge, countries, dreams, glory, hard work, india, janitor, limits, memories, mountain, olympics, potential, seattle, soldiers, vancouver, winter, wish

Executive toys are basically things that people who work in corporations might keep on their desk. These items are nice to look at, or can be used for amusement, or something along those lines. (Note: This is my own definition of it, so I'm sorry if it is rather awkward) The typical executive toy would be Newton's cradle. A basic one is pictured below.

Though I don't have one myself, I think that basically, you pull back a ball at the end (either side should work) and it will hit the other balls, causing the one at the other end to move. I'm not sure how this works but I'm going to guess it's transfer of force. (You should look it up for an explanation, I'm afraid I only have the vaguest ideas)

The executive toy I have in mind, though, is a Galileo thermometer. I had one delivered to my house just recently. It comes with not only a thermometer but also a barometric ball. (Barometers are used to measure pressure in the atmosphere) Basically, it looks like the picture below.

I really like the Galileo thermometer because it is shiny and has nice colors. I am fond of glass and such things in general, since they are shiny objects. Of course, it's more accurate to use a regular thermometer than a Galileo thermometer, but a Galileo thermometer is fun... I guess.

Yesterday, my parents' friends came over to our house. It seems like practically anytime there is a holiday, we'll go to someone else's house or someone else will come to our house. I guess it's because only holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year actually mean the adults get a day off. It's more convenient that way (especially since my mom's friend lives in Pleasanton, California, which is not that close to where I live). My mom's friend would like to go to Yellowstone National Park, and she wanted my mom to come along, but it would be a problem because I get motion sickness from driving so easily. There is no way to fly directly to Yellowstone, so it would definitely mean a road trip. Hearing my mom's friend say it would be hard to manage because of my carsickness made me feel kind of guilty (and also a little exasperated, because it's not like I can help getting carsick!) so I said to my parents, "Well, you can just go without me," after all the guests had left. But my parents said they didn't need to, because they had already been there.

I always get annoyed because my parents have been to places that I haven't. I want to travel all four corners of the globe (not that there are corners on a sphere), but there's still many places I have yet to go. Well, my parents have been to many states in the USA that I have NOT been to, like Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, South Dakota (and they got their Master's Degrees in North Dakota), Minnesota, Indiana, Utah, Arizona, and Texas. They traveled to those states when I was not yet alive. I feel like I've missed out on a lot.

There is something that has always troubled me, and that is my childhood memories. I am talking about the ones that go pretty far back, as in my toddler years. I don't seem to have any memories of my parents. This is surprising, considered that I was not an adopted child (I'm too similar to my dad for that to be true D: ), and so I must've spent at least some hours of every day with my parents (even if they were both working so I had to spend time being babysat or at preschool). I mean, family is important, so shouldn't I remember them? The only relative I remembered, oddly enough, was my grandma. For some reason I have this memory of her holding me, on a beach in Hawaii, with the sun setting. But although I have photos of my parents and I, I can't remember it at all... The human mind is a mysterious thing.

Labels: adoption, barometer, brain, carsick, executive toy, family, friends, galileo thermometer, grandmother, hawaii, memories, newton's cradle, parents, travel, united states of america, yellowstone

Today, my mom said that I should put my drawings somewhere so I don't lose them. I definitely ought to, because I once had this great drawing of Lucario (well, I just looked at the Pokemon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew movie's DVD cover, and copied it, but whatever) and then I lost it! I was really mad over it. Maybe someday I'll find it again, though. Sometimes I do rediscover my old things.

I used to keep a binder with my drawings. I was 9 years old at the time, so the pictures are not so great. (In fact, some of my pictures from before I was 9 are there. They are silly, but they're amusing to look at) It's been so long since I updated that binder. A few of my dad's drawings are in there, too. He draws really good, even if he was only drawing copies of what was in my "How to Draw Manga" book that I ordered from the Scholastic book catalog one year. I guess both of us are better at imitating other people's art than drawing our own. That's worrisome, because I don't want to be arrested for violating copyrights or something like that.

Not that I'm not interesting in going to jail. To me, jail is similar to school, except they have higher fences. I mean, I heard we have the same meal program. That's not fair, because the students committed crimes (uh...as far as I know, at least) but then, criminals are still people and have rights (though some might be a bit kooky). I heard they serve pizza in jail. That's not so bad, is it? But my parents say I am silly for being curious about going to jail because people beat each other up and it can be quite dangerous. Plus, I heard that prisons in my state are getting overcrowded, and one time there was a riot at jail and some buildings were destroyed and people were injured, so I guess I should find a place with a nice jail. Sydney, Australia used to be where the British sent criminals, I think, and there is still an old prison (not in use anymore, I believe) on a very small island in Sydney Harbor... It must've been the jail with the prettiest view in the world.

Back to the topic, though, before I get sidetracked (as usual! I don't really care if I get sidetracked personally, but it might confuse you, the reader). I also dug out my cello the other day. It's not actually my own cello - it was borrowed from a friend of my mom's. My mom's friend's son (well, one of them) wanted to be in Advanced Orchestra or something along those lines, so he took lessons out of school in cello, but he still couldn't give in, so I suppose he gave up and no one was using the cello. So I took it since at the time I was still taking orchestra. I haven't touched it for a very long time so the bow looks ruined, and the strings are really out of tune. Apparently, depending on the temperature, the strings get loose or tight, so you have to tune string instruments every day. Well, the cello itself is shiny still but it's hard to use it since there aren't notches in the bridge for the strings, so if you're not careful the strings at the very sides could actually fall off the bridge, and then you would to have to put them back on. Very annoying, and scary too. I've been urged to take cello again but I'm not sure if I should yet. For one thing, I am afraid to find out whether I even know how to play reasonably well anymore. And I only did take Beginning Orchestra, so although I have knowledge of music (from playing piano all these years), would I still be able to do vibrato, or hold the bow properly?

I think someday I have to get over that fear. I don't know when that day will come for me. It could be fifty or sixty years from now, when I am retired for real (although I really want to retire, it's unlikely, like WHO WOULD PAY FOR MY EXPENSES? My dad says he will give me his money, but he wants to retire as well).

I'm an easily distracted person, and sometimes I start thinking, and old memories that I had forgotten for so long come back to me. (Thus the title for today's post.) For instance, my carseat. I used to always have to sit in one. It wasn't all that long ago. Maybe third grade or so... I think I started to sit without a carseat in maybe fourth grade? (Hey! Maybe that's why I started getting carsick! I didn't have a carseat any longer) I wonder where it is now. Is it in the garage? Or has it been given away? Sometimes I think it's so weird how I could forget about something that I had for so long. But then again, I guess people are always preoccupied with their current lives and don't have that much time to think about the past. It's kind of sad that way. Life is so rushed, and technology actually seems to be making it busier instead of less busy...

Labels: australia, binder, carseat, carsick, cello, copy, crime, drawing, fear, instrument, jail, life, lucario, memories, orchestra, overcrowding, pokemon, retirement, sydney

In French class, we asked what nationality the teacher was. She said that according to a student, "She was a vampire who grew fangs and sucked blood at nighttime". And ironically, the teacher grew up in Romania. Romania is the country where the famed Vlad the Impaler once resided (the guy who impaled people and decorated roadsides with them? Yup, that's the one. Sort of reminds me of how they used to put executed people's heads on the London Bridge). And Vlad was the inspiration for the stories of "Dracula".

Then we have my science teacher. We have an activity called Current Events, where the students present a newspaper or magazine article related to science (in my class we can't use the Internet since apparently that would make it too easy, or the source might have false information, or something like that). A few students present each week on Monday, or Tuesday if we weren't in school on Monday. Well, whenever the presentations are over, the teacher reads off the names of students presenting on the next week. Twice, she said "On the menu..." which made me think that she planned to eat the students, like Hansel and Gretel. And this week she said "victims". I don't mean to be offensive, but sometimes she does look sort of like a witch since she is old and has long, silver hair. I think she ought to dress up as a witch for Halloween.

I was trying to do my language arts homework, writing a memoir, today. We were using Google Docs to write our essays. I was able to use it in class, but now that I'm at home I seem unable to find the page where I logged into it. I don't want to use my Gmail for the Google Docs since the saved file is on a different account...Apparently, we logged into a specific CUSD place on Google Docs, but I can't work on the homework if I can't even get to it. I am just going to have to ask the teacher tomorrow, since it's not due yet.

A while back, I found some of my old drawings, I think I talked about it and how I used to be trying to make a calendar, hmm? I decided to assess my art style by comparing the two of them. It's a good idea to keep your old writing or drawing so you can look at it again in the future. Mostly I tend to laugh at it or smile at the fond memories they bring up. I tried to keep this images alike, but I did make a few changes for convenience. (Haha, the foot in the earlier one - which was draw around May 2007 - is weird)

Labels: art, comparison, current events, dracula, drawing, fairy tale, google docs, halloween, homework, memories, menu, problem, romania, vampire, victim, vlad the impaler, witch

It seems like I can never find the "perfect temperature" today. If I put on a coat, I start sweating, but if I take it off, my allergies/cold seem to get worse. I wonder what to do. (I don't want to use the medical nasal spray my mom keeps in the office since it hurts. It's made of seawater or some other weird substance. o_O)

Right now it's my Staff Learning Day, but it seems like some colleges are having their week of spring break now. I guess they don't have February Break (otherwise known as Midyear Recess) like my school dose. I guess that makes sense, seeing as the purpose of our week off in February is so that kids won't miss a week of school just because they want to be skiing in Lake Tahoe or something.

Earlier today, a man (presumably one of my mom's coworkers) tapped the side of the cubicle (since there is no door to cubicles). I thought he had something serious about work to discuss but it turns out he was bringing my mom an advertisement for a good deal on a vacation to Hawaii! First there was pizza the last time I came here, and now a vacation ad from a newspaper?! Does anyone work at my parents' offices?! (My mom sometimes goes shopping during her lunch break, and my dad checks his email and writes on his own blog...Apparently he has some friends who "look forward" to reading his blog)

Anyhow, I've noticed that my mom keeps two of the apples that I brought her from school on top of her computer. One has wrinkly skin because it's probably rotting inside and the other one looks okay but doesn't feel very hard when you touch it. I compared this to my grandma and my mom. My grandma is old, and has wrinkles and a hunched back, so you can tell, kind of like the first apple. My mom looks younger but she's aging, if you look at the grey hairs beneath her dyed head. My mom was miffed when I made such a comment to her. D:

Now, I'm not sure if y'all are familiar with KK Slider or not, but he's a well-known in the Animal Crossing games (now available for Game Cube, DS, and even Wii). He started out as a poor street musician named Totakeke, but now he's famous. In the Game Cube he sits on a crate next to the train station (pretty miserable when it rains, if you ask me) and in the DS he gets to use the stage in the museum cafe. As for the Wii (the game for that is called Animal Crossing: City Folk) I haven't tried that yet, so who knows. (I want it, and one of my friends who lives in Taiwan said she would get it if I got it and liked it, but I don't know...I mean, I might not have time to pick weeds and go fishing every single day.)

Back to my mom's office. Looks like her plant isn't dead yet. I was surprised seeing as my dad has the "greenest thumb" in the family (which reminds me of an inside joke I had with my friend in Taiwan. She used to live in CA. One day she was bored and decided to water the plants herself instead of turning on the sprinklers. Then the plants died. So I say she has a "dead thumb"). I was reading my planner a few years back, and it said in one of the corners, "Never go to a doctor's office that has dead office plants." I wonder if that advice is sound.

Labels: animal crossing, apple, blog, break, decay, free time, health, kk slider, memories, nasal spray, pizza, sick, simile, ski, staff learning day, vacation, video games

Far from it. The sky is covered by rainclouds and the dirt on the ground is still damp, so it becomes mud. There is no one at home besides me, leading to an eerie silence only disturbed by the sound of my breathing and typing. But oh well. I am still thrilled because of the recent work the teachers have handed back to me. (The papers were handed back recently, even if the work wasn't necessarily recent) Since I have low self-esteem, I have to brag at home or talk to myself just to keep it up. People mistake it for a cocky, slightly snobbish personality, but it's a facade.

Sorry about not posting my cooking schedule yesterday. I rambled on too long in the previous post and forgot to put it up. Here it is.
Monday Baguette Costrini. (I'm not exactly sure what it was called. You take a baguette - a long, thin bread - and cut it up into little slices. Bake it in the oven until it is lightly browned. Then you spread olive oil, pepper, salt, and cloves onto it, and put chopped tomatoes, green onions, and some cheese on top. Bake it again, until the cheese is melted. Then eat!)
Tuesday Chinese Chicken Salad. (It doesn't taste all that great. I mean, it's unique, I guess, but I still don't like it. I wonder if my parents have tried it before)
Wednesday Finish workbook. (We have this workbook thing which is trying to get you to improve your eating and exercise habits. At least, I think it's for Wednesday, unless it's for Thursday? But that doesn't seem right either)
Thursday Clean up. (We're having Electives Night, where the 6th grades - called pixies - come to look at the electives. Volunteers from cooking class will be baking cookies)
Friday Chocolate Lava Cake. (Suggested by a guy who used to be in my kitchen, back in days long past. It sounds tasty. I hope it doesn't have any sponge cake stuff in it, though. I don't like that)

I feel a bit sad at having to leave my kitchen seen. Not even a few weeks later, I'll be hustling out of there and to the other side of the pavilion, and at the end of the school day rather than the beginning (if the glitch in our grade/schedule online checking system is telling the truth). I will certainly miss the cooking classroom, kind of like I miss the art classroom and the orchestra/band room. Some people say woodshop is fun, but the warmth and spice smells of the kitchens are charming, as is room 1 with its vases of flowers, goldfish bowl, and walls covered by artwork. Even room 27's ragged lines of black chairs and stands and white helmet, used as a bathroom/hall pass, are something I like.

Agh, never mind. Pretty soon I'll be in a rocking chair, knitting hats for a grandchild on the way or something. Maybe I'll move to Arizona (good for old people, who have arthritis and feel the cold more than young'uns) and chat with my other retired neighbors. Being retired will give me more free time, at the very least. (Unless you're a busy grandma running a campaign for AIDS in Africa.)

Labels: atmosphere, cooking, knitting, memories, mood, nostalgia, personality, rocking chair, weather

That's the sort of feeling I get, because I've been remembering a lot of past things. For example...Since the previous Friday was a school spirit day, where you were supposed to dress colorful (I woke up late and forgot about it), I recalled that when I was younger, I used to have a shirt I really liked. It had thin horizontal stripes on it with various colors. I had a picture of myself with that shirt and a butterfly (not dead, luckily!) perched on my hand. I also started carrying around one of my old stuffed animals, a rainbowy dolphin. It's really quite pretty. It used to be a childhood favorite of mine.

By the way, I finished the banner I was making. (Look higher up on this post.) I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out. (Better than I expected, anyhow.) I'm starting to improve at graphics, but if I draw something and scan it, it turns out terrible. Maybe instead I ought to use a program like GIMP, or my tablet, to make it work out better. If I only stopped being lazy. Maybe I'll get around to it by the time next summer is here. XD

Labels: graphics, memories

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