Sometimes I feel like that, and other times I feel like quite the opposite. There are times that I have the feeling of being on top of the world, like I can overcome anything, and that life is easy. But there are times as well where I feel as if there is so much out there and I am just one person, too insignificant to matter.

I mentioned in a previous post (unfortunately, I can't remember which one it was, so unless you're really bored, don't bother searching for it) that I live in a place where many people are fairly affluent. One time, my language arts teacher (who says she is poor, but I suppose it can't be so bad she must live off of freebies) asked how many of us think about the price of things when we buy them. I didn't mind when I was younger, but over time I started to care about it, and nowadays I don't really buy much for myself (except for a Galileo thermometer, but that's a different story). A lot of people said they just asked their parents to buy something and didn't really worry about how much it cost. I had heard that my town prides itself on having an average income that is quite high, or something along those lines. (Note: That doesn't mean everyone owns a private jet or a beach house in a foreign country, though)

I started to wonder, "Would us kids be able to survive out in the real world?" Well, my parents' friend's son was a student at both UC Berkeley and Harvard, and he said, "The experience you get at the schools is different. At UC Berkeley you're more left to your own devices, but at Harvard you'll be helped along." Basically, even the different colleges may encourage a different level of independence. I have been wondering whether people living a sheltered, privileged life will really be okay when they get out there into the rest of the world. (Well, unless they always live in the same place, or move to a similar place) I mean, there are 6.8 billion people in the world and counting, so there will definitely be a lot of competition - for example, people will fight for jobs, as jobs are not created fast enough to make up for the growing population and the bad economy.

And really, the world is filled with hardships. I don't think everyone can be so lucky to never experience them. Some of my troubles are physical, like when I catch a cold, or sprain my ankle, but most of them are mental. I've always wondered what it would be like if I had a different life. Like if I had siblings...Being an only child, I don't really learn to share or to take care of someone else. In fact, I don't really do chores besides putting my clothes away when they have been washed.

Today, I visited a bridge in my town. It's not a bridge over water, it's simply a bridge over a highway. I think it looks very nice at nighttime, though I didn't visit it at night. I walked there with my dad in the afternoon. There were several people on the bridge. No cars are allowed on it - only people on foot and people on bicycles. The bridge is practically on the border of my town and a neighboring town, so if you cross the bridge, you'll be in a different city. But you'll be in the same school district. There is a high school right next to the other end of the bridge. I would like to be able to go that high school. (The high school I will probably be going to is a very highly ranked one in academic terms, though, and the high school next to the bridge is...not so much) It would be so charming, living next to the bridge and walking across it to go to school. Quite picturesque. Some people would be bothered by the highway noise, but I don't think it would be too much of a problem for me (as long as there aren't too many police chases and ambulances at nighttime).

I wonder what I ought to do. Should I accept my fate, because destiny cannot be altered? Or should I fight against it, fight to change it, and make a life for myself? Is it better to be the blade of grass, which bends but doesn't break, or like bamboo, which prefers to break than bend? Is it better to go with the flow or to make ripples in the water? I wonder about that.

Oh, before I end this post, I would like to explain why I was thinking of fish in the beginning of the post. It was because of something I saw in the December edition of Reader's Digest. There was a complaint someone made to a travel agent. The person said, "No one told us there were fish in the ocean. The children were startled." Wow. I guess there are many different people.

Labels: bamboo, berkeley, bridge, change, college, competition, destiny, feelings, fish, grass, harvard, high school, money, only child, readers digest, spending, survival

I have no idea whether I have translated that right, but it should be something along the lines of "The Beauty and the Beast". I just noticed something about The Beauty and the Beast. In the Disney movie, the girl is called Belle, isn't she? And the feminine French word for beauty is belle...Perhaps they did that on purpose and it wasn't just a coincidence. I have heard of secret goings-on with movies kind of like people comparing the villains Scar (from Aladdin) and Jafar (from The Lion King).

The weather seems to be changing all of a sudden. It's still sunny as usual, but now the temperature has cooled down. It's a nice change, but it's hard to get used to needing more blankets again...I was always annoyed by the summer heat but I'm pretty sure as soon as it's the thick of winter I will be pining for the warmth. The grass is always greener on the other side (well, not necessarily, if you have seen how dead some people's lawns are).

Speaking of lawns, I once heard that in certain places it's a law to keep your yard in good condition. Grass shouldn't be growing too wild, there shouldn't be too much weeds and you should prune your bushes, that kind of thing. Apparently you can even get fined for it. Wow... Well, we have nothing like that in my town, though, as far as I know.

I think the library is just really going downhill. Today I went to the library and there were strangely long lines for returning books and checking them out. I thought nothing of it until I tried returning the books and media that I had finished or that was due. It took a while for the system to make a connection, apparently. And then later I had to wait in line a long time just to check out what I wanted because the system is so slow. According to my dad it would take six months and a bunch of money to bring the library up to speed. Probably it's because so many people use the library (in fact, sometimes the recession is blamed for it since more people use the library during recessions) and also because the library hasn't got the cash. I suggested selling their fish tank (I'd buy it in a wink if I had the $$$) but my dad insists it's not easy to sell something like that, and it would be far from enough to pay for the system upgrade anyhow.

In French class we had a project where you color in a picture of a girl (or a boy, if you're male) and write a "paragraph" about yourself using words you've learned in class. I was trying to make my person have a ponytail since I almost always have my ponytail (in fact, the only time I took it down was for picture day). It was not going well, it always looked very awkward or in the wrong place or some other thing. I just gave up eventually and settled for something that looked so-so. The picture looks a little like me, but not much, because the hair has bangs (and I don't).

This is really out of the blue, but while working on some homework I stumbled upon a picture of a puzzle I remember doing when I was young. Click here to see it. I find Oklahoma's nickname really strange. What's "Sooner State" supposed to mean? Does that mean things happen sooner there?

Labels: belle, disney, drawing, fix, french, grass, lawns, library, map, movie, oklahoma, picture, ponytail, problem, puzzle, sooner state, system, temperature, the beauty and the beast, villains

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