I often come across two very similar things in succession. I was reading the Skip Beat! manga and Ren Tsuruga, one of the main characters, ate breakfast twice. And then when I was watching a Korean drama, Dal Ja's Spring, the main character ate dinner three times.

Although nothing terrible happened to Ren, Dal Ja got constipation and had to be taken to the hospital. I was disgusted but I also thought Dal Ja was stupid to have done so. She could've just said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I've already eaten" but of course she had to eat since she had been invited (and to a nice restaurant, too). Or at least she could have said no when she was going to eat dinner the third time. (But I guess us humans are still feeble-minded and often make the wrong decisions. Then again, maybe something bad would happen whatever choice we made.)

Today was a friend's birthday, so I walked over to her house. Avatar was playing on the TV. I was excited to finally get a chance to watch it (and without have to get my own copy of the DVD) because there was a lot of uproar over it when it came out. (Too bad watching it on the TV means that it isn't in 3D, but oh well. 3D would probably make me dizzy or it would be too realistic and give me a heart attack. It still looks nice even if it isn't in 3D). I was surprised about how tall the Na'vi were and also that they had tails. From what I had seen, they had seemed very humanoid, so I hadn't expected that.

I had another encounter with James Cameron (the director) because soon afterwards I saw an imitation of Titanic (which happens to be one of his films too). I can't remember whether I've watched Titanic or not, but I think I probably haven't. And now that I think of it, I still want to watch Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea. I still haven't gotten around to it...I wonder if the DVD is out. In that case, I can get it from the library.

Lately I haven't had much appetite. It's probably because I stay inside most of the time (since it's hot and sunny without any clouds, most of the time, outside) and because I'm not really able to go far from the house. I had been hoping that I would be able to go on walks by myself for the purpose of taking photos, but that hasn't happened, seeing as my mom says, "Wait until we get home, then you can go with your dad." But it's kind of weird. Sometimes I can feel so lonely, but there are many times now that I just want some peace and quiet. I wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I'm becoming so solitary.

Labels: 3D, alone, appetite, avatar, birthday, choice, constipation, dal ja's spring, drama, eating, food, indoor, korean, movie, multiple, photography, ponyo, skip beat, solitude, walk

There have been myths about the moon. People have thought that sleeping outside under the full moon would make you go crazy, and there are some creatures, like werewolves, associated with the moon. Words have come from the moon, too, like the words lunatic and lunacy.

I fear that my mother may have some problem with her eyes or mind. On Thursday night, we went outside to look at the sky and try to spot the moon because of an astronomy lab I need to do for my science class. After walking around my backyard and looking in different directions, I finally found the moon. It looked rather unusual; The white, sunlit crescent shape was on the bottom of the moon, not on the left or right (which I had expected).

My mom was staring at the moon rather strangely, and later on, she asked me, "Did you see other white things? Not the part at the bottom?" I said no, I had not. I wonder if perhaps her eyes were going bad or if she was hallucinating. (Well, people do see things in the moon, like animals and men and things like that) Nearsighted people don't usually see funny things when they don't have their glasses on, do they? Is this a result of old age or stress?

Time really is passing, after all, and my parents aren't getting any younger - nor is my aunt's family. Once a week or every other week, my mom and her younger sister will talk over the phone or on Skype. This week my aunt talked a little about her son and his birthday party. She and my mom also discussed their countries' policies about retirement and things like that. (She lives in France, and things work differently there.) I guess after years of working, you're counting off the days (more like years) until you get to settle down.

My cousin has already turned ten years old. And I myself will be going on to high school next year. How did this time pass so fast? It feels like so long ago now, the time when my aunt, uncle, and cousins came to our house for a while. Back then, things were really different. I had still been in elementary school, and there wasn't that much to worry about it. In fact, probably the only thing that bothered me at all was the annoying behavior of my cousins. Both of them were rather picky, if you ask me. One of my cousins wanted to eat ramen noodles, so we cooked her some (I think it was just one of those Maruchan ramen packs, where you get a pack of dried doodles and you put them in hot water), but she didn't eat that much. (I hope her appetite has improved. I know her brother has quite the healthy appetite. He even ate more than I did at a pizza place, which is impressive.) At the time she was quite prone to crying when something upset her, though the last time I saw her she was a bit better in that regard (I suppose people do mature somewhat with age).

Well, my pet fish have been aging too, and so there aren't that many of them left. We used to have guppies, once upon a time, but they are all long dead. Now there are only two fish in the smaller tank. We have three fish in the other tank. The big tank, where the three koi are, is by far the most dangerous. If you open the tank, you will see the lid is only propped up on one side, and even that part is unstable. So there has to be another person standing by to hold up the lid AND hold up the black part under the lid that fits in a slot directly over the water and fish.

I was feeding the fish the other night, with my mom holding up the lid. My mom said that I was dropping the food in the wrong place since it ended up landing on one of the fake plants, and the fish have really bad eyesight (and don't have much brains either) so they don't notice the food. I got some kind of fish tank cleaning rod and was going to use it to poke the fake plants so the food would fall down onto the bottom of the tank, where the fish would have an easier time getting to it. Unfortunately, my mom tried to reach for the rod I was holding and in the process lost her grip on the lid of the tank, so it crashed down and bonked us both on the head.

For a while my head was sore, but as I am accustomed to such injuries, I soon forgot about it. However, my mom was still having a headache later on. I wonder if this is a result of old age. Since you can't really make new brain cells, and you're weaker in general, it's harder when you do get injured. I hope it won't give my mother any permanent head damage. But I fear it is already affecting her. She forgot that I would be staying late after school to take a French test and panicked, thinking some tragedy had befallen me. (Luckily, nothing of the sort had happened.) I probably should have reminded her in the morning, but still, I would have thought she'd remembered. This is a very bad sign indeed. If she can't remember something her only child has to do...Imagine if she had a lot of them, like seven children.

Labels: age, appetite, brain damage, cousins, crescent, danger, eyesight, fish, france, illusion, lid, memory, moon, picky, ramen, relatives, retirement, tank, time, young

CORRECTION: Whoops, this is actually the 299th post. My bad.
This post marks 300 posts in this blog. It's amazing how much I've been able to write over time, and I'm glad that I got this far. I hope you've enjoyed the ride too.

I thought I had better back up some of my posts on my computer, in case Blogger ever blinks out of Internet existence or my blog accidentally gets deleted or something like that. I was looking through my posts and I realized I had used the title "Walking on the Moon" twice. Oopsy. I try not to ever repeat post names, but I unintentionally do so... I guess this is what happens when your quantity gets too big. As for the quality, I hope it has not gone down over time. When I look back at some of my posts, I think, "Oh, that was a fun time, but it feels like so long ago." There are some times when I don't have much to write about, like the post "Ansel Adams", when I was lacking for inspiration, and it was a drag to write the post. (I felt like I should write something, to prevent me getting rusty from less practice writing) And there are also times when I have so many things to write about, I'm churning out posts everyday and I feel like I'm on top of the world. I wonder if I can grasp that feeling again.

There's something I'm always wondering about, and that is my appetite. It seems that even if I eat too much at one time and get full, later on I'll feel hungry again. (I might not really be hungry, only as soon as I see something yummy, I feel the urge to eat it.) I guess I have to ration what I eat since it seems I will always get hungry at certain times regardless of how much I ate earlier. This is rather dangerous and makes me feel like a fish or something. I bet my fish would keep eating beyond their capacities if I gave them a ton of food. (That's why I tend to "starve" them by only giving them the bare minimum at feeding time. I don't even feed them daily.)

While I was walking home today, I overheard a girl talking about how her dog had vomited. (Sorry to give you that mental picture if you were eating) I kind of thought about how people really still behave a lot like animals. I've heard dogs can sneeze and cough too (not sure about cats), like us. Both animals and humans scratch themselves when they're itchy. And we certainly do vomit as well. In the end, no matter how humans try to control and dominate and become "civilized", they're still animals.

I remembered something today that I hadn't thought about in a long time. When I was in elementary school, I used to go the YMCA daycare on the campus after school, where I stayed until my parents came back from work and could pick me up. There were sometimes questions we could answer, for instance, since I mentioned itches earlier, there was once a question, "Do you scratch an itch or itch a scratch?" We would write our answer on a slip of paper, as well as our name, and put it in a plastic box. Then, one day, one of the people working at the YMCA (we called them "leaders"), would randomly pick out a piece of paper where the question was answered correctly (I believe it was sorted for correct answers first), and then the person or people chosen would get a prize of some sort. It feels like a long time ago now.

Even sixth grade seems far away. I still have plenty of memories, but they gradually become fuzzier over time, more surreal, more distant. After a while I end up thinking, "Those were great times. And I'll probably never have them again." I still enjoy things in my daily life. But it's rather clouded by all the knowledge of the world you get, because when you're young everything's fresh and simple, everything is clearly defined. The lines get blurred when you're older, unless you can still keep that innocence, and I long for those days when things were not complicated. I don't know if I can have that kind of life again. I think that you don't realize how nice it is to be young until you get older.

I feel worn out of having to deal with stresses and concerns, and that's why I want to retire. I'd thought that if I didn't have to work any longer, and be able to focus my attentions on the little things, things that I want to do but don't get around to doing, things would be easier. Maybe they would be, and maybe they wouldn't. I'd still like to see for myself. And I don't want to wait more than fifty years for it.

Labels: 300, appetite, blog, complicated, fish, food, innocence, inspiration, life, memories, old, retirement, scratch an itch, simplicity, stress, time, walking on the moon, winner, YMCA, youth

That kind of rhymes, considering the way that Yosemite is pronounced.

I've been wondering for a while now why Yosemite is pronounced the way it is. It's pronounced like "Yo-seh-mi-tee". I think that's rather misleading. On the lost and found sign for the Yosemite trip, Yosemite was misspelled "Yosemity". So wouldn't it make more sense to pronounce the name "Yo-seh-mee-teh"? But I suppose what makes sense isn't necessary how things work out.

While I was at Yosemite, I led a very different lifestyle from what I live at home. I spent much more time outside moving around. I almost always wore multiple layers to keep myself warm (except for the times that I became hot from hiking and skiing). I had to get used to having a heavy backpack on my back (I know you're not supposed to pack a lot, but I brought anything I thought I might need, like extra socks, a rain poncho, and gaiters - I never even used the gaiters), since usually I use a roller backpack. I had to adjust to having little sleep and to constantly having dry skin. (But some of my skin problems weren't as bad at Yosemite. My mom says it was because I took short, cold showers, which is better for your health, not like the warm, long ones I take at home)

And all this exercise was a good thing. It helped me build more strength, and I was surprised at how long I lasted, even if I wasn't a fast hiker. It's weird, but I had a different sort of appetite at Yosemite than I have back home. At home I get hungry quite often and I end up eating too much (better keep me away from the almond crunch!), but at Yosemite I sometimes lose my appetite, while at other times I am just moderately hungry, and don't eat very much, but it's enough. And I had to eat celery, which I never ate back home (it's not too bad, I guess, I always thought it must be terrible since people eat it with PEANUT BUTTER and I'm allergic to that). All this exercise made me lose some weight and made me feel better about myself since I could eat more and know I would burn it off, so I wouldn't have to worry about rationing myself (which I've been doing unsuccessfully, I always end up with too much food in one way or another. Eating is something of comfort, after all).

When I got back home, I realized how little exercise I do in comparison. In Yosemite, we might stop once in a while, but other than that we spend a lot of time standing or walking or climbing up something. At home, I am indoors a lot, sitting down, doing some work that requires me to stare closely at something, rather than getting natural light, which is better for my retina or something like that (I can't say I know the specifics about eyes, so don't ask me). And I actually eat more at home, or at least it feels like that. I wish I could always live the kind of lifestyle I had in Yosemite, being active, and being in the outdoors. That's where we are all supposed to be, but us humans have built walls around ourselves, put roofs over our heads, surrounded ourselves with technology to make our lives easier. In some ways this is good and in others it is quite saddening.

I hope that I never forget the experiences I had at Yosemite. I think it may have been one of the only times I ever really got close to nature. One day, when we were hiking at nighttime, a chaperone told us all to turn off our flashlights, be quiet, and stand still. We looked up at the sky, and it was amazing. The sky was really dark, and it was speckled with beautiful white stars. I have never seen so many stars at one time in my life, because in the town where I live, you can't see so many of them (unless you go out late at night, which I don't; in Yosemite it was only maybe 9 pm when you could see all those stars). Humans have affected the world so much that it becomes harder to see stars, but at least now I know there are still havens, still precious places where you can see night the way it is supposed to be seen.

I'd like to get a telescope. With one, I could take a much closer look at the night skies. I have heard that there are times when you can see other planets, such as Venus, and I want to try that. And there's eclipses, too; I didn't pay all much attention to them in the past. But now I think I'd like to see one sometime.

There are so many marvelous spectacles I have yet to witness in the world. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to see them all. I once heard that there were two people who were hospitalized because of problems with their noses. One had his/her problem fixed, and left the hospital. The other had some sort of terminal illness, so he/she traveled and did things that the other person didn't do (and probably never would). Sometimes you have to realize how little time you really have left on the Earth to make full use of it.

Labels: appetite, backpack, change, eating, health, humans, indoor, life, lifestyle, nature, night, outdoor, pronunciation, shower, skin, sky, stars, time, weight, yosemite

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