One day, at lunchtime, I noticed that a few of my friends seemed to be writing on something. It was a piece of binder paper, and a girl was writing on it in cursive. Upon listening and watching, I realized that she was practicing signatures over and over again.

She was not just practicing her own signature. She also imitated the signature of one of her friends, and I think she got pretty good at it, because the person whose signature she was practicing writing said, "Now you write my signature better than I do."

It kind of made me think of how risky it can be to let someone get a good look at your signature. With practice, a person could probably replicate your signature pretty well. You either have to have a really wacky one or you have to keep it hidden from other people in case they feel the urge to forge it. Imagine all the things they could sign without your permission! And even if the person was caught trying to use your signature, it'd still be a big hassle.

Speaking of other kinds of signatures, I recently started submitting some of mine to some groups on DeviantArt. They're all pretty old by now seeing as I don't make graphics that often anymore (and when I do I am reluctant to post them on DeviantArt, because something I read suggested that perhaps it could be interpreted as art thievery if the artists making images used in graphics did not wish to have their art used in graphics). Well, I know that I have a long way to go (I've seen some people who make amazing graphics, and I applaud them) but it does tick me off a bit to be given criticism about older graphics, but I suppose it is better that I just swallow my pride. After all, I am sure no one is purposely trying to bring down my self-confidence, they only am trying to offer tips, so I figure it's just another challenge that I have to overcome. I would like to get back to making graphics more actively. Perhaps I should take a look at some tutorials. (The only thing is, I feel bad if I rely on a tutorial heavily since I feel like I'm doing nothing more than imitating someone else's graphics. But then again, imitation is one way of learning...After all, once you've improved you can then focus on developing your own unique style.)

Well, I guess it all goes back to that whole "small fish in a big pond" kind of feeling. At times I can be quite overwhelmed by how many amazing people there are in the world - or, on the other side of the coin, how many really harsh people there are (and I'm not talking about what I mentioned in the previous paragraph in this case). But seeing a lot of talent can inspire me to try harder too, so it doesn't always have to be something harmful. And perhaps by having to deal with unpleasant people will help me to harden myself and get "thick skin". I only hope that things can turn out well in the end.

Labels: art, challenge, criticism, danger, deviantart, feelings, graphics, harsh, old, people, problem, pros and cons, safety, signature, style, thick skin, tutorial, unexpected, world, writing

CORRECTION: Whoops, this is actually the 299th post. My bad.
This post marks 300 posts in this blog. It's amazing how much I've been able to write over time, and I'm glad that I got this far. I hope you've enjoyed the ride too.

I thought I had better back up some of my posts on my computer, in case Blogger ever blinks out of Internet existence or my blog accidentally gets deleted or something like that. I was looking through my posts and I realized I had used the title "Walking on the Moon" twice. Oopsy. I try not to ever repeat post names, but I unintentionally do so... I guess this is what happens when your quantity gets too big. As for the quality, I hope it has not gone down over time. When I look back at some of my posts, I think, "Oh, that was a fun time, but it feels like so long ago." There are some times when I don't have much to write about, like the post "Ansel Adams", when I was lacking for inspiration, and it was a drag to write the post. (I felt like I should write something, to prevent me getting rusty from less practice writing) And there are also times when I have so many things to write about, I'm churning out posts everyday and I feel like I'm on top of the world. I wonder if I can grasp that feeling again.

There's something I'm always wondering about, and that is my appetite. It seems that even if I eat too much at one time and get full, later on I'll feel hungry again. (I might not really be hungry, only as soon as I see something yummy, I feel the urge to eat it.) I guess I have to ration what I eat since it seems I will always get hungry at certain times regardless of how much I ate earlier. This is rather dangerous and makes me feel like a fish or something. I bet my fish would keep eating beyond their capacities if I gave them a ton of food. (That's why I tend to "starve" them by only giving them the bare minimum at feeding time. I don't even feed them daily.)

While I was walking home today, I overheard a girl talking about how her dog had vomited. (Sorry to give you that mental picture if you were eating) I kind of thought about how people really still behave a lot like animals. I've heard dogs can sneeze and cough too (not sure about cats), like us. Both animals and humans scratch themselves when they're itchy. And we certainly do vomit as well. In the end, no matter how humans try to control and dominate and become "civilized", they're still animals.

I remembered something today that I hadn't thought about in a long time. When I was in elementary school, I used to go the YMCA daycare on the campus after school, where I stayed until my parents came back from work and could pick me up. There were sometimes questions we could answer, for instance, since I mentioned itches earlier, there was once a question, "Do you scratch an itch or itch a scratch?" We would write our answer on a slip of paper, as well as our name, and put it in a plastic box. Then, one day, one of the people working at the YMCA (we called them "leaders"), would randomly pick out a piece of paper where the question was answered correctly (I believe it was sorted for correct answers first), and then the person or people chosen would get a prize of some sort. It feels like a long time ago now.

Even sixth grade seems far away. I still have plenty of memories, but they gradually become fuzzier over time, more surreal, more distant. After a while I end up thinking, "Those were great times. And I'll probably never have them again." I still enjoy things in my daily life. But it's rather clouded by all the knowledge of the world you get, because when you're young everything's fresh and simple, everything is clearly defined. The lines get blurred when you're older, unless you can still keep that innocence, and I long for those days when things were not complicated. I don't know if I can have that kind of life again. I think that you don't realize how nice it is to be young until you get older.

I feel worn out of having to deal with stresses and concerns, and that's why I want to retire. I'd thought that if I didn't have to work any longer, and be able to focus my attentions on the little things, things that I want to do but don't get around to doing, things would be easier. Maybe they would be, and maybe they wouldn't. I'd still like to see for myself. And I don't want to wait more than fifty years for it.

Labels: 300, appetite, blog, complicated, fish, food, innocence, inspiration, life, memories, old, retirement, scratch an itch, simplicity, stress, time, walking on the moon, winner, YMCA, youth

My mother has it. It's because she dyes her hair. She is not pleased with the grey hairs that keep showing up, so she dyes them once in a while. I have told her not to dye it anymore. I think it would be beautiful if her hair became completely silver and if she grew it out long, like my science teacher (well, not that my science teacher is beautiful, no offense intended to her...But who knows how she looked in her youth?).

Hair dye reminds me of the Studio Ghibli movie, Howl's Moving Castle, one of my all-time favorite movies of time. You know, I'd like to say that even if a movie is animated, it doesn't mean it's not worth watching. (I liked the movie Up, too, and Finding Nemo as well. All those movies have some hidden messages in them, be sure to pay attention to that too)

There's a scene where Howl, a magician who lives in a big, mechanical, moving structure powered a by a demon (the demon's name is Calcifer, and he appears to be a fire), was taking a bath when his hair changed colors. It was because Sophie, a main character of the movie (she was a girl, but a witch cast a spell on her that made her become an old lady) was cleaning the bathroom and probably mixed up the chemicals. Howl's hair turned red, which devastated him, as he had previously had a nice blond shade of hair. He started to moan about how life wasn't worth living if he wasn't beautiful. Then Sophie got upset and said, "I've never been beautiful!" and stormed out. Later on, Howl's hair darkened to black.

I often wonder during the film if Sophie has low self esteem or something. She always seems to think she is ugly even though she isn't. SPOILER! Skip to the next paragraph if you don't want it to be spoiled for those of you who haven't watched the movie. But there is one scene where Howl tells Sophie her hair looks like starlight, which I think is a very nice simile. Sophie seemed to appreciate the compliment, unlike a different time. There was one scene where Howl gave Sophie a gift, beautiful meadows and water. It was a place where he had spent his childhood. Sophie was pleased at first, but soon became saddened, saying she thought this meant Howl was going to leave. She said she wanted to help him, even though she was only good at cleaning. Howl tried to tell her that she was beautiful, but she didn't accept it. She just said, "The good thing about being old is that you don't have anything to lose." But I wonder if that is really true.

Well, anyhow, though many of the Studio Ghibli films are quite nice, I still like Howl's Moving Castle the best. It was based off a book, but I haven't read the book. I actually checked out the book from the library once. However, since I always read books (and eat food, too) in the order of least favorite to most favorite, I didn't get around to it, and unfortunately had to return it. Perhaps I should request it from the library. (But I would like to get one of the newer copies that has the Howl's Moving Castle movie picture on it...)

So I've been wondering, has anyone read the Howl's Moving Castle book? If so, is it similar to the movie? Or is it a lot different? If the book is really good, I would like to read it. (Usually I either read the book/manga for something or watch the movie/anime for it, and occasionally both. But I'd rather spend my time reading books/manga that don't have movies, and watch movies that don't have books or anime)

It amazes me that I haven't really talked much about Howl's Moving Castle before in my blog. Perhaps it was because I watched it in the theaters, back in fourth grade or so, and it became far from my memory because I was distracted by other things. I'm glad I found it again, though. I never get tired of watching good movies and anime. Do you have a movie or show that you love so much you don't get bored of it?

Labels: animated film, anime, beauty, books, boredom, calcifer, cleaning, colors, grey, hair dye, hayao miyazaki, howl, howl's moving castle, movie, old, sophie, studio ghibli, teacher

Well, kind of in the literal sense, and kind of not. On Christmas Day, I was spacing out and I noticed something unusual on the ceiling. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a crack...In fact, a pretty long one. I am not sure how long the crack has been there. It could be new, it might've been forming over the course of several years. But what I do know is that it's a bad sign.

Our house is not new, that is for sure. My mother says it was built in 1945. It was remodeled once, but that wasn't recent, and it wasn't us who remodeled it anyway. My dad says the insides of the house are getting ruined and sometime we're going to have to either move out or redo our house from scratch. I hope that won't happen, but you can't prevent the inevitable; fate works in strange ways. When I mentioned the crack to my parents, my dad said it would probably be okay (at least for now) while my mother said, "Okay, let's remodel the house now." I don't want to move away (unless it would be to some far, exotic place like Australia, or France, or Italy, or the Hawaiian islands) and I don't want to tear down my house...But now that I think of it, that would give me a good opportunity to try apartment living. I've been wanting to live in apartment because I figure it would be interesting, and it would be good to have neighbors close by and a swimming pool that can easily be accessed. I really don't understand why people always want to buy a house so badly. Is it wanting to call something your own? Or do you just want some privacy?

Recently, my dad told me about the difference between the way houses are built. There are slab houses and houses with crawl space. If your house is a slab house, then it is built directly on top of a concrete foundation. The pipes and other things are in the concrete. If your house has crawl space, then there is some space between a foundation and the house. The space is called "crawl space" because if your pipes break or something, you can crawl under the house to fix them. If you have a slab house, then there is no crawl space, so you're in big trouble if your pipes break - you'll have to blow up the concrete. But if you do have crawl space, then you run the risk of termites. My house, in fact, probably has termites.

My mom and dad both watched a Chinese drama. In the drama, a couple wanted to buy a house. They don't have much money, so the wife asked her husband to borrow money from his parents. But the husband didn't want to do that since his parents are poor and he would feel guilty. His wife grew angry, saying she was tired of him making excuses about his family. They already had to take out a loan for a large amount of money that had a high interest rate, and the down payments took the help of neighbors and friends. My mom complained, "Why do they want to buy a house when they really can't afford it?" Why indeed.

On Christmas Day, I visited my parents' friends' house. My parents' friends' son is visiting (he lives in Seattle) and he brought his dog along with him. His dog is a Shetland sheepdog, I believe (at least partially, maybe he is mixed with some other breeds). The dog looks quite different from the last time I saw him. He seems to be bigger and has a lot of hair, even though my parents' friends insist he was already like that. This time the dog was a lot friendlier to me than last time. (Or maybe I'm better at dealing with dogs now. When I was in Australia, I got to interact with my mom's friend's dog...) He watched me whenever I tried to eat something (of course, animals find human food to be MUCH tastier) and let me pet him and even tried to lick me. (I really don't understand why a dog would want to lick you, not that I really mind or anything, but it's not like I taste good....DO I?!)

My mom was reading the newspaper (in Chinese) and there were some pictures of some objects. I guess it was some recommendations of things to buy. There was lipstick that has seven colors you can use...Isn't that like one of those pens with many colors? Wow. The most interesting thing, though, was the key hider. It was supposed to look like a sprinkler on your lawn or one of those outdoor lights. Actually, you can put your keys in them, so if you forgot your keys, you could have a spare key outside. But I think that's dangerous. Any ill-minded person who reads that newspaper article will know where to look for someone's keys and would be able to break into your house...

Labels: apartment, chinese, crack, crawl space, disguise, dog, drama, food, house, key hider, lick, lipstick, money, moving, newspaper, old, risk, shetland sheepdog, slab house, termites

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