Two nights ago, I found myself in the world of dreams. This hasn't happened for quite a while. In fact, I can't recall having any dreams since I got out of school.

I was at school and we were going on a field trip. We got onto a bus - but it was no ordinary bus. The interior was more spacious than your ordinary school bus, and the seats, instead of being lined up in two columns, were against the walls. We had chosen where we would sit beforehand by marking places on a chart. I had gotten the direction mixed up and sat at the right edge of a black bench at the back of the bus. I was supposed to sit on the left side, where two friends were. But since the bus was moving and I thought it would be troublesome to ask everyone to scoot over a bit so I could take my rightful place, I decided to remain where I was.

Then I noticed one of my friends was taking a picture of me using a device. I'm not sure how I knew, but I knew it was a camera. It looked very strange, with yellowish-orange and black colors.

Eventually we got off the bus and arrived at a place that seemed to be a recreational center. We all went to a room that looked very much like my language arts classroom. The teacher said to get our sleeping bags ready for later. I realized with a jolt that I had seen "sleeping bag" on the recommended items for the trip, but I had deemed it unnecessary and forgotten about it. I hadn't expected us to actually have naptime on the trip.

Then I left the classroom and began walking around. I recall walking on a grassy hill, and I think there were some fenceposts here and there. I eventually decided to go the bathroom. I saw someone I knew there. When I was exiting the bathroom, I went out the wrong door and found myself facing a swimming pool. There was a banner of some sort put up near it. The girl that I knew came out that way too. I was going to go back into the bathroom and exit through the correct door, but she said, "You can just walk around to the front." So that's what I did.

I don't remember much else of the dream. I think I had woken up from it by then. But I do recall having seen one other person in that dream - probably while I had been walking around the grassy hill. I've seen that person in another dream, too. It's been a long time since I've been able to talk to that person. I wish we could be friends again. Like we used to be.

Labels: bathroom, bus, camera, classroom, door, dream, field trip, friends, past, people, recreational center, school, sleeping bag, summer, swimming pool

There's this song that goes something like "I left my heart in San Francisco" (which I guess I can understand, because I think San Francisco is a nice city, despite apparently having a history of being notorious place). And I thought it was suitable considering what I was thinking about earlier.

The common belief is that being homesick will make a vacation miserable for a person. But I don't think that's necessarily the case. It's true, during the first one or two days of Yosemite, I was trying hard not to burst into desperate sobs, because I was unaccustomed to the rush of Yosemite, the horrible-smelling bathtubs, the thin walls of the tent (meaning that you could hear any loud noise being made elsewhere), and the lack of sympathy from much of the other people (judging from their excited attitudes, since I try to avoid pouring out my heart and soul to people I do not know well).

As is the unusual case here, after a few days, I realized that I would be going home soon, and with this thought in my mind, I acquired a much more positive attitude toward the Yosemite trip. Isn't it funny how wanting to go home can become your motivation? I kind of figured that if I had fun the time would pass faster and I could go home and sleep in my nice old bed and get to take a warm shower (the showers were so cold, it was warmer when you weren't showering than when you were showering...). And in this way I was able to enjoy the trip after all, despite being very paranoid for much of the time. I was very fearful during the hiking when we had to clamber up rocks (how precarious! One false move and you would fall all the way to the valley floor) and also when exploring caves (you could slip and break your bones or bang your head on the ceiling! Or you would at least end up with really dirty pants and gloves). But at the same time feeling the adrenaline rush was a good thing since it made me feel adventurous. For much of my life I had been craving something exciting. This is very contradictory considering that I'm a person that likes normality and regular comforting rhythms in their life.

Just the other night, I closed my eyes. I began to imagine that I was back in Yosemite again. I could imagine the covers on my bed turning into the top of the sleeping bag, and the quiet of the room turning into the annoying dripping and banging of the heater... For some reason this gave me a kind of comfort while also making me feel very nostalgic. I wonder if perhaps the reason why I keep waking up really early, like 7:00 am, when I don't need to get up until 7:45, is that my mind thinks, "Oh no! I am so late for the breakfast at Yosemite!" but that's not the case at all.

My parents said that maybe some other time, like in 2011, we could go to Yosemite again. I'd like to go back to Yosemite, but I feel like if I went back there, I wouldn't want to leave. I'd like my days to pass in a national park, the way some people spend a lot of time in Yellowstone, watching the wolves with their binoculars. I'd like to be somewhere where I can see the stars as clear as day and where the trees make the air delightfully fresh. And as dear as home is to me, that place is not here.

Labels: adrenaline, adventure, breakfast, danger, excitement, homesick, late, memories, morning, national park, nostalgia, shower, sleeping bag, song, sounds, surprise, trip, yellowstone, yosemite

The title is inspired by a song by the Carpenters. Ever heard of that band? It's made up of two people, two siblings. The brother is still alive, but sadly, the sister died.

Rain doesn't normally upset me, and though I dislike Mondays, usually that won't depress me too much either. But last Monday wasn't an easy day, and it was a rainy day, so I thought it would make sense to use this title.

This past week, I've been gone on a school trip to Yosemite National Park, so I haven't been able to write anything. On Sunday morning, I boarded a bus headed to Yosemite. It's a pretty long drive there, probably four hours or more. I took a carsick pill called Dramamine to help me out with the carsickness.

I wonder if medicine really does work or not. Sometimes it's just people believe something will help them, and because of the positive feeling, their health seems to improve. I'm not sure whether medicine does any good or if it's only the "placebo effect". Perhaps the world may never know (like that thing about "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?).

Once I was at Yosemite, I had to adjust to a lot of things that I wasn't used to. For instance, dinner for me was at 5:05 pm, and breakfast at 7:05 am. I usually have breakfast not long from 8 am and I have dinner at around 7 pm. And I had to sleep with a sleeping bag, which I wasn't accustomed to, because I have never been camping. (Which is good - I don't think I could put up with going to the bathroom in the Great Outdoors for long XD) But the sleeping bag wasn't too bad, it was actually kind of cozy. It got too hot, though, when the heater was on in my cabin.

I kind of expected it to be like science camp. At science camp, you didn't need an alarm clock because someone would wake you up if you didn't get up on your own. There was a bathroom that was fairly clean and it was conveniently located, so you wouldn't have to get up in the night, wake someone up, and walk through the snow or melting puddles. You wouldn't hike so much that you'd be really tired and you'd always have your time managed well for you. And you didn't need to get a lot of gear, not even hiking boots were required.

Yosemite is sort of similar, but sort of not. The food is in buffet form (that's nice, since I can just a get a little to try something and see if I like it first). You're expected to meet up with people at a certain time (though there's almost always someone missing or late). You have to manage your own time to be able to complete a journal, take showers, and get enough sleep. And there is a lot of hiking and climbing and other physical activity.

Monday was a hard day for me. I am a special case since my cabin mates are in a different rotation than I am (meaning that they had different meal times and different evening programs). I was really stressed waiting for them in my cabin, and I kept thinking that something horrible must've happened to them (I didn't realize back then that their evening program was later than mine). I was also annoyed about the cold showers and stinky bathroom. And it was really noisy at nighttime, making it hard to sleep. I got really homesick, thinking of my parents and comfort and having a dependable routine. And this homesickness didn't really go away. During science camp I was having such a blast that I didn't think of my home much.

On Monday, there were many kinds of weather. We had rain, then hail, and then even snow. The snow is beautiful, that's for sure. But it was hard to appreciate when I was so worried and stressed. I wasn't able to relax until maybe about Wednesday or Thursday. By then I realized that I would be going home soon, and so I was in a much better mood. (Kind of funny how sometimes you have to be waiting for something to enjoy yourself.)

There were a lot of things I didn't like about the trip, but there were things that made it better, too. Things that made me dry my tears and smile and put my best foot forward. Being outdoors was great. I didn't really hike much or even go outside that much before. I thought I'd be tired easily from hiking. It's true that I was usually pretty worn out from lugging around a heavy backpack (too used to the roller backpack by now) but I wasn't lagging too horribly behind, either. And seeing the mountains and waterfalls and getting the occasionally opportunity to sit by myself and think was calming for me. I also got to try so many new things, like eating hummus (never tried it before, but it wasn't bad), eating celery (also wasn't as bad as I thought), eating sunbutter (yes, I'm eating lots of new things. Sunbutter is like peanut butter but made from sunflower seeds), and going cross-country skiing... I'm really starting to realize that I don't need to have limits, boundaries, things holding me back. I can do my best and achieve so much more. I just have to be openminded and live life to the fullest. After all, even if you have more than one life, you'll never remember the past ones, so of course you have to do everything that you can.

Oh, and going on the trip makes you appreciate home. Many of us longed for warm showers. I also heard some students saying they missed eating rice (they had rice at the buffet, but it was like fried rice and things like that. No sushi, dumplings, or miso soup, that's for sure). I believe that going to Yosemite was a good experience for me, even if I still feel there would've have been a lot of room for improvement. (I heard there was a bathroom with ants in it.) It's something you'll remember forever, after all.

Labels: backpack, effort, food, hiking, home, homesick, life, monday, new experience, placebo, problem, rain, rainy days and mondays, sleeping bag, song, the carpenters, tootsie, trip, weather, yosemite

It wasn't really thin, actually. It was pretty thick. The ice I'm talking about here is the ice in a local ice rink.

I haven't gone ice skating for a long time. I think that the last time was probably at least a few years ago, if not more. I'd been meaning to go, but I never got around to it. (I wanted to go in the summer because it would be a nice way to cool off. However, my parents are working, and I am not allowed to go far by myself, so unless there was a holiday like Independence Day, there was no chance. And if it was a holiday, it would probably be crowded)

I was surprised by how many people were at the rink. My dad says that it was less than average, which I think is even more startling. Most of the people there were young people (I mean people who are young enough not to be in college yet, and such). In fact, I saw a couple of people I recognized, such as a girl who is a friend of the person I walk home with, and some classmates of mine.

It was really awkward getting started. I could only stumble along, clinging to the side of the rink. This didn't work too well because there isn't much of a handhold. I've heard there are rinks out there that actually have a wooden bar running around the perimeter so you can hold on to it, but here all you can do is try to hold on to the half-wall (on top of it is some glass since the rink is sometimes used for playing hockey). It was especially hard considering that the gloves and mittens we had brought for ice skating did not allow my fingers much flexibility.

After a while I kind of got the hang of it, just keeping my feet parallel, and occasionally kicking the ice with my left foot to keep me moving. Sometimes I messed up my footing and I'd flail about wildly before managing to get my balance. My dad and I are afraid of falling, unlike the little kids (who dash about and all, and some of them cry when they hit the ground) and the other young people, so we can't go so fast.

Since it's the holidays, once in a while the rink's lights are turned off and the strobe lights (is that the right term? Don't know what to call them) went on, and it was sort of like a disco, in a way. The young people gave a cry of delight, but I said, "Noooooo!" When it's dark and there are colorful lights moving around, I get a little distracted from my skating. Besides, I heard people who have seizures don't react well to things like that. (But I guess it's pretty unlikely that someone with epilepsy would've been there anyhow)

Less than two hours after arriving, we left the rink and went home. I expected to be able to skate longer than that, but it is surprisingly tiring, particularly for people like me who haven't gone skating for a long time. My dad said it was good we left early, otherwise our legs would be really tired at nighttime. This turned out to be true, and I felt discomfort during the night from my aching legs...

My mother has lately been trying to get me to shop for my Yosemite trip. Most of the 8th grade goes on a trip to Yosemite each year. It's meant to be educational, since we'll be in the great outdoors, but really people are just excited to be away from home, in a place that snows (Yosemite does get snow, after all, but it doesn't snow where I live). I'm really not that excited about the trip, because...
1. I've never slept in a sleeping bag.
2. I don't know if I can handle the hiking. (I'm always paranoid, thinking I will fall to my death. And I hate going uphill.)
3. Apparently we don't get to use the new cabins, which upsets me. (Are they not ready yet? Or do they just not want to let us stay in the new cabins?)
4. I don't want to get attacked by a teacher. (One of my old teachers often goes on the Yosemite trip and he sometimes destroys kids. No joke.)
5. Carsickness! It's a several hour drive just to get to Yosemite, and it's uphill. I will probably be pale and half-dead by the time we arrive. (It is unlikely that I will upchuck because I have self control and try to avoid throwing up. Haha!) I'll probably have to take medicine for motion sickness, if that helps any.

However, it might be fun, because I'll have plenty of photo opportunities, and I did enjoy science camp. Science camp was what I went to in fifth grade, since everyone in the fifth grade went. We stayed in cabins (but we slept in beds) and we hiked around. It was a lot of fun, actually. The food wasn't too bad either. I guess you never know. I'll have to find out in March.

Labels: cabins, carsick, falling, hiking, holidays, ice skating, lights, people, rink, science camp, seizure, sleeping bag, sore, trip, trouble, yosemite

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