I should've posted this a lot earlier, but I had a few things to add to it :p It's gotten really long, so you can read one per day or something.

Microwaves Can Be Used for Anything
I've heard some rather strange things about microwaves lately. I remember hearing once that an old lady tried to dry off her wet cat by putting it in the microwave, so apparently now there are warnings telling people not to put animals in their microwaves (I have no idea if it's true, though). My mother seems to think it's okay to do that, though, at least with stuffed animals. I wanted to move my stuffed animals to my bed again, but they tend to collect dust and make me sneeze. So, of course, my mom had to say, "Well, we can microwave them. I heard that'll get rid of the dust." NO THANK YOU!

People Who Attend Barbecues Make Offensive Comments
For some weird reason, I've attend 4 barbecues in the last two weeks - one of them was hosted by a club at my school, since they were trying to attract members; another one was my mom's company's "family day"; and the other two were parties hosted by my family's friends.

It was at these BBQ's of friends of my parents that I was insulted. At one of these parties, when the host saw my dad and me, she immediately told me, "You look so much like your dad!" And when I laughed, she said that I even laughed like him. Word to the wise: Do not compare me to my dad. I have heard it so many times that if I hear it again, I will smile politely at whoever says it, and when he/she turns around I will stuff his/her head into the barbecue grill.

Yesterday, at another BBQ, my mother told one of the other guests that I was in 10th grade. The lady looked at me and smiled, saying in Chinese, "You're rather small, aren't you?" Well, excuse me. I never asked to be short, so people, please stop pointing it out. There is nothing I can do about it at this point besides, oh, I don't know, wearing 12-inch-tall high heels?!

The Sims is Annoying Yet Fascinating
Well, at least the Sims Wiki is. Sometimes when I'm bored I just go and browse its pages, and I come across some rather entertaining and interesting things. What intrigued me in particular was the page about Mrs. Crumplebottom. She's one of the NPCs (non-player characters) in the Sims 2. I remember seeing her on the community lots in the game, and whenever one of my Sims wanted to go swimming, she'd come over and lecture them for wearing swimsuits, which she considered to be indecent clothing (gosh, what else do you swim in besides a swimsuit?). I learned plenty more interesting things about the wicked old lady in the Wiki article:

- If two Sims have a public display of affection, she will scold them or beat them with her purse.
- There are two whole sections in the Wiki article dedicated to avoiding the wrath of Mrs. Crumplebottom. Apparently, if your Sims go to a bowling alley, a place with a poker table, or a bar, then she won't bother you because she'll be busy bowling, playing poker, or drinking.
- If you have the Bon Voyage expansion pack, then if the Unsavory Charlatan (another NPC; he is a scam artist who has a top hat and a monocle) is on the same lot as Mrs. Crumplebottom, he will try to serenade her. But supposedly she beats him up when he does that. (Now I want to play the Sims 2 again just to see that happen.)
- If you try to add her to a family or turn her into a vampire, werewolf, or witch, your game will be corrupted.
- Even when she is bitten by a vampire, unlike normal Sims, she won't turn into a vampire herself.

And speaking of the Unsavory Charlatan I mentioned above, his Wiki page says that if he steals your Sim's money, then you can attack him to try and get it back. For some reason the Unsavory Charlatan likes to attack the Tourist Guide...? He's a master poker player (always wins because he always gets a Royal Flush, I wish I had that ind of luck), and he also knows how to play mahjong. o_o;;

Besides the NPCs, there are plenty of rather interesting stories for playable Sims; the Sims 2, for example, includes two families, the Caps and Monties, which are kind of like modern versions of the Capulets and the Montagues from Romeo&Juliet. There are also Sims who have been abducted by aliens and who have died in all sorts of ways (electrocution, starvation, drowning in a swimming pool, etc.) I think I read on several Sims' Wiki pages that if Story Progression was left on (meaning that other Sims' lives continue - they get married, have children, get promotions, make friends, die, and so on), some Sims will cheat on their spouses...I actually saw this happen one time. One of my Sims went to another Sims' house, and while she was there, the husband of that household was flirting with some other woman. The wife came and slapped the husband and everyone seemed upset. Sometimes the game actually does reflect what would happen in real life. o_o;;

Constant Reminders of Fullmetal Alchemist
I just watched this recently and it is now pretty much my all-time favorite series. Imagine my surprise when, just a day after I watched last episode, I saw that one of the recent popular deviations on DeviantArt was a fanart of FMA! And when I went over to one of my friends' houses just the other day, I noticed that she had pictures of FMA on her wall. Now I feel like decorating my room too (I just swapped bedrooms with my parents and I want to add a personal touch - in other words, posters of anime, video games, and Vocaloids all over the place. But I have to either buy some posters or try to make my own...)

In fact, even the SAT seems to know that I am obsessed with FMA. I was doing some reading comprehension practice problems, and the passage I was supposed to read was about alchemy! It even mentioned transmutation and the Philosopher's Stone, both of which are commonly heard in the anime.

Japanese Will Take Over the World
I'm not sure about the country, but its language, at least in a lot of anime, seems to be predicting that Japanese will become the universal language. I've recently been watching Ikoku Meiro no Croisee, and although in the beginning of the episode there is a narrator speaking French (I always find it funny, but actually, French people would find me funnier because of my horrible accent when I speak French), during the anime itself, the French people speak Japanese. What's even funnier is that Claude, a french guy who is supposedly speaking French, is talking about Yune, a girl who came from Japan who is standing next to him, and Claude says - in JAPANESE - "She won't understand what I'm saying anyways." And I was just thinking, "DUH, she understands, because you're SPEAKING JAPANESE." Oh well. I guess they just can't find good French voice actors in Japan or something, and that's why they speak Japanese when they're supposed to be speaking French.

And I remember when I was watching Kuroshitsuji, where all the people were supposedly in England but spoke Japanese. Even the characters from China and India spoke Japanese. I still think it's hilarious.

Science Teachers are Insane
Mine certainly seems to be.
- She's a psychic; one night my mom was talking about how my dad had eaten a huge amount of pistachios. The next day, on my chemistry quiz, there was a question asking how many pistachios someone could eat at one time. (If I calculated it correctly, it was more than 4000 pistachios... o_o;; )
- She cares about us, particularly our eyes, though in a bit of an odd way. She makes students sing some song that goes along the tune of I'm A Little Teapot (except it's "I'm A Little Chemist" or something like that) when they don't wear their goggles, as a sort of warning to them. That in itself is not strange, but she has a really freaky poster on her wall. It has a picture of a blind woman who has a cane and a guide dog. The caption says:
"Carol never wore her goggles.
Now she doesn't need them."
- She has a family of pyromaniacs. For one thing, the first day of class, she set a gummy bear on fire. The next day she showed us another demonstration with fire. One of our first labs in the class involved a lot of matches being lighted. And she said that her son really likes fire too...

Vocaran Knows What I'm Doing
There's something called the Weekly Vocaloid Ranking, or Vocaran for short, which basically uses logarithms and other thing-a-ma-bobs (I'm not too clear how it works) to come up with the 30 most popular Vocaloid songs that week. The Vocaran also briefly shows the 5 most popular Vocaloid songs from approximately the same time of year last year. I was listening to a song called "The Madness of Duke Venomania" and then I decided to check out the Vocaran. It was pretty weird for me to see that the #1 from the year before was that song.

And what's weirder is that around this time, I noticed that one of the Nico Nico singers, Panyo, had just sung a cover of "The Madness of Duke Venomania". o_o;;

Apparently even a Vocaloid producer knows me. Watch the first 20 seconds of this video. The video starts about with water, and then later on you see the song's name is "Kai Sou". Water is "mizu" in Japanese. Mizu...kaisou...Whose blog does this remind you of? :p

Labels: animals, anime, barbecue, family, fullmetal alchemist, height, japanese, microwave, mrs. crumplebottom, teacher, the madness of duke venomania, the sims, vocaloid, vocaran

Yet again, I'm doing things in a roundabout way. Or at least, planning to do things. At several points over my life I have gotten the notion that I ought to start learning some Chinese characters so I can at least read the signs if I somehow get shanghai'd (Ha! Get it?) and am stranded in China. Well at least if somehow I ended up in Shanghai, I'd be okay because I can sort of speak the dialect...But anywhere else, it'd be hopeless.)

I do remember that back when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I went to a sort of day care place (it was called Little Genius Learning Center, if I remember correctly. Pretty arrogant-sounding name, if you ask me), and there was a nice lady who would go over a beginner's Chinese book with me. She'd point to a line and I was supposed to recite it to her, and at the end of the day she'd give me an apple as a present. Actually, I didn't really know what the words said, I'd just memorize what she'd said when she read it earlier, and then I'd just repeat what I remembered. But it sure looked like I was learning Chinese. Now that I think of it, I was good at fooling people when I was a kid. My grandma made me take a nap every afternoon, so if I didn't fall asleep I'd just fake it when she came in to check on me. Eventually, when enough time had passed, I would get up and she'd give me some ice cream. So actually I never got anything near as much sleep as my parents thought I had, especially in preschool, when I never slept during naptime. (But then again, they know that I'm an insomniac, because when I was a baby it took a really, really long time for me to fall asleep. It's still pretty bad now.)

Now that I'm interested in learning Japanese now, though, I'm starting to regret the fact that I never went to Chinese school or at least made my parents teach me. In fact, I was just the opposite for most of my life - I was adamant that I'd focus on English. I really believed that if I tried to learn Chinese, I'd forget English, because I actually learned to speak Chinese before I learned to speak English. Soon as I went to school and was forced to learn English, though, I pretty much forgot all the Chinese I'd learned and now I almost always speak English at home. And on another note, I actually look a weird, irrational pride in the fact that I was Chinese but did not learn my own language. I guess that was an early sign that I would later try to go against the tide in most aspects of my life, if only just to be different from "everyone else", whom I would refer to with slight contempt. I used to want to just blend into the background, but now I kind of think that fitting in means being boring. (That's not necessarily true, though; I probably just don't get to know people well enough to make an accurate judgment.)

Well, although I tried to memorize Katakana and Hiragana with the help of Quizlet, I am still a very long way from reading Japanese because I don't know enough kanji. Guess what kanji is? Yup, it's Chinese characters. The one thing I insisted on not learning turns out to be really important. So I have to start from scratch now if I ever hope to learn Japanese. I was actually planning to work on that this summer, but now that I have the homework from my classes to do...Well, I let myself get too stressed again and now I'm really not in the mood for the things I was doing earlier this summer. Looks like it's going to be a wasted summer and I'll probably be cursing myself for the rest of high school because I won't get to relax again.

Still, I probably should talk to my parents about it sometime. I know that they're going to be busy, what with work, remodeling, and health problems on both sides of the family (grandma on mother's side had back issues and had to go the hospital; dad and his mother were both very ill not long ago. And I should not neglect to mention that my mom is still limping around, although her toe is recovering considerably). But I guess if I'm going to learn a new language, starting late's better than never. I've gotta get crackin'.

Labels: china, chinese, dialect, different, english, family, foreign language, health, japanese, kanji, languages, late, mandarin, nap, pretend, problems, quizlet, sleep

Recently I've been seeing a lot more dead animals than usual - about 6 of them in this past week alone. Most of them were probably killed by vehicles, though it's hard to say, seeing as some of them have ended up on sidewalks and between poles and other objects. But I'm pretty certain that, at the very least, it was not a mailman who ran over the animals.

Why? Well, just the other day I received a letter from Thefalse-tto in the mail. That in itself was a pleasant surprise, since I have not been exchanging mail with anyone for a long time (though I was supposed to have a email pen pal from France but she has not replied to my last email, so I assume that she has lost interest...Or maybe it ended up in spam for some reason and I didn't see it. Hopefully nothing bad has happened to her). But I noticed the date at the bottom of her letter said June 26, and I had received the letter on July 6. In the past I usually received letters within 3 or 4 days, so I thought that did not bode well for the post office...Maybe all the mailmen were taking time off because of the Independence Day holiday...Still, I live pretty much next to the post office, so it wouldn't be that hard to deliver my mail, would it?

Oh, and speaking of Independence Day, I had a rather odd one. On the weekend right before it (July 2 and 3), I could hear fireworks from my bedroom. According to my mother, the amusement park Great America was having their fireworks over the weekend, since if they had the fireworks on Monday, July 4, all the adults would have to go to work the day after, and be all tired and grumpy from staying up late for fireworks. Or something like that. (This is based on her allegations, so I don't know if it's true...) So I kind of assumed that my town's fireworks would follow the same schedule.

Evidently not. The evening of July 4 rolled around, and while I was attempting to sing Black Rock Shooter at home (which did not work out, since I cannot hit the higher notes of the song), I realized that there were some sounds from outside. The sound of fireworks, to be precise. It was very frustrating for me; I've been planning since last year to go to the location of the fireworks so I can take better pictures of them. Wonder if I'll even get to see the local fireworks before I move out of this town. (But then again, maybe I'll live in a big city, perhaps even Sydney, Australia, and see better fireworks.)

Though I guess in China people might not even know about the 4th of July, so if I ever went there on Independence Day, nothing would happen. My grandfather talked to me on Sunday, and I tried to tell him that Monday was a holiday and my parents weren't going to work. He didn't understand. He said that since it was the first day of the week, of course they were going to work. At that point I attempted to send him the Chinese Wikipedia link for Independence Day, but he didn't notice it.

I know that the flow of this post is rather random, but I guess I'll end by talking about the odd dream I had last night. I was at some sort of concert or musical (probably a musical, since there was a vague storyline, I think), and some of the performers were members of a nonexistent Korean band. Thefalse-tto was in the audience too, and she was explaining to me something about how the audience wanted the female member of the Korean band to sing a song about little unicorns that had inappropriate lyrics. Then I remember seeing a guy from that band going on stage and singing a song. Part of the lyrics to that was "Eugene! Eugene!" I'm not sure whether it was the guy's name or if it was supposed to mean something. Maybe, though, it was because I watched Tangled twice recently and Flynn Rider's real name is Eugene...

Labels: animals, china, concert, dream, eugene, family, fireworks, friends, grandpa, great america, independence day, july 4, letter, mail, pen pal, roadkill, songs

I'm not sure if almost being attacked by a goose counts as bad luck. It does look like, however, that it's a part of a series of unfortunate events, because I hear that bad things come in threes.

For one, our garage is having issues again. Whenever I try to get the door to come down, it stops partway and then tries to go back up again. I have to keep clicking the button on my garage door opening device until it finally manages to get all the way down. ...And even then, the garage door still tries to go back up. I'm thinking that the Rin/Len Kagamine song called "Remote Control" should have its lyrics rewritten to complain about my struggles with the garage door. I've even taken to going out through the front door (gasp! I pretty much never use the front door unless guests are over) just to avoid dealing with it. I'm worried that someday the garage will try to open on its own while I'm not around, and someone will come in and steal my bike. (This has happened before. My dad had his bike stolen many years ago, only it wasn't from the garage)

As for the other bad thing, it happened to my mother. We've always had issues with chairs and the legs of the beds in our house. Many times I've gotten up at night to use the bathroom and ended up stubbing my toe against a chair leg. It's happened so much that I suggested getting a bed with special legs so that you won't kick it (I saw an ad for it in a magazine), though as usual my parents weren't paying attention. Well, now my mother was walking to the bathroom at night and her toes hit a chair leg really hard. She didn't think it was a problem that night, but the next morning it hurt a lot and she couldn't walk properly. Turns out that she's fractured a bone (or bones) in her pinky toe. It'll take six weeks or so for her to recover.

What a bummer. Just the previous night we were thinking about going swimming sometime soon. Looks like I'll be swimming solo. There's practically no chance that my dad would ever agree to go swimming. When we were in Hawaii a couple years back, my mom and I were drifting out in the ocean...My dad, on the other hand, paced back and forth on the beach, an angry expression on his face. Barely got his feet wet and had only a sunburn to show for it.

But I guess it'd still be nice to go to the beach sometime. I'd like to go swimming in the ocean again. It's really salty and makes the undersides of my arms sting, but it's still...both relaxing and strenuous at the same time. A vacation-y sort of exercise.

I suppose in the end I can't enjoy it as completely as I used to be able to. At this age there's too much to worry about. I have to study to take my SATs, and these days it seems colleges expect you to get really serious about some extracurricular, and spend your summers on a job or internship or volunteering or something...It takes the fun out of the things I enjoy, being told by college prep people that I have to go make money or enter competitions with my hobbies. I never should've written Stanford and Harvard down as colleges I want to go to, because it's not true...Sure I'd like to go there, but that's not my goal.

Then I end up wondering why I'm so afraid to aim high. Maybe it's fear of failure; that has always worried me. Maybe I'm trying not to do whatever everyone else is doing again. I know it's silly of me to do - just because something is popular doesn't make it bad. But I feel like I can't just go along with the flow without thinking it through first. I think that I'll lose what makes me unique if I follow what other people are doing. Sometimes I don't want to be like other people and sometimes I do. I don't really know who I want to be anymore.

Labels: bike, broken, college, family, garage, garage door, goose, individual, injury, problems, remote control, SAT, song, stress, summer, swimming, theft, toe

Sadly, I'm not talking about Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy, sorry to disappoint you video gamers out there. XD The weather's been gloomy the last two days, just a grey veil of clouds that blocks the sunlight. I don't like days like that. I think it should either rain, snow, or go back to being blue skies with my favorite kinds of clouds - the voluminous ones with clear edges, light parts and dark parts.

I guess it reflects my mood. I was feeling pretty melancholy yesterday, partially because it is now Finals season, and there's a lot to do, studying and a speech, but I just don't feel like doing it. (I find myself growing lazier and lazier the longer this year goes on. For a while I was actually doing well - I was actually socializing, getting a somewhat decent amount of sleep, was scoring high on my exams - but I've fallen back into a slump.) Or it could be a natural fluctuation in mood.

What's really troubling me, though, is that I'm terrible at dealing with people. It always seems that after I've been friends with someone for a couple of years, I start to notice a lot more of their faults (or is that just a natural consequence from their aging?) and I wonder if that's why my relationships with other people always start to deteriorate. Or maybe it's more because I don't like to make the first move. I might not say hello even if I see someone I know, as I prefer the other person to greet me first, like what happened yesterday. I was helping a classmate with some homework, and we happened to be sitting at a place where a group of friends meets at brunch. I saw two of my friends, though we didn't really say hello to each other. I told my classmate that I had to go and left. Later, at PE, one of my friends, who I hadn't spoken with a brunch, asked why I had left without saying anything. I was rather awkward and defensive when I answered, because at the time, I had reasoned, There's no need to say goodbye to someone you hadn't even said hello to, is there? I wasn't there to socialize, I was there to try and help someone with homework. Maybe it would've been better if I had said something, but
then again, isn't that something I usually do? Just go off without saying anything? Still not used to it by now?

Labels: communication, depression, family, fate stay night, finals, forever alone, friends, mood, pattern, princess lover, problems, relationship, season, strife, talking

I've had a few previous run-ins with cats. Most of the meetings were with cats in the neighborhood, except for two occasions, one at my mom's friend's house and another at a Humane Society. Cats have never seemed to like me much. They either stare at me suspiciously and run off if I try to approach, or they keep turning away from me to show their disinterest. In fact, my parents' friend's cat even bared its teeth (though I'd heard that he - or was it she? - didn't like people much to begin with) when I attempted to get friendly with it.

So I wasn't quite sure if I really ought to be volunteering to help out with a Town Cats event at PetCo. It was an adoption fair for cats, and I was supposed to be helping with the cleanup - dismantling the cages and that sort of thing. I figured I might as well go. Despite all of my cajoling for the past couple of years, I have still been unable to convince my mother that we ought to get a cat or dog. It's probably because of one of these reasons...

1. My mom never liked cats or dogs much. It seems that her side of our family isn't fond of animals in general, since they didn't have pets when my mom was young.

2. No one has time to take care of it. There's no one to feed lunch to a cat or dog, and if we got a dog we'd have to walk it every day. (I think that'd be good exercise, but it is time-consuming.) Cats are lower maintenance, but as my mother considers them to be rather disloyal and not as useful (for instance, dogs could guard the house while we're away), that's out of the question. I don't think my mom has ever really spent time with a cat, though, so how would she know?

3. My mom is afraid of dogs. She thinks that the big ones are scary and that they will bite her. It's ridiculous considering that she's never even been bitten. And I don't think it's good to be judging animals' temperaments by their sizes. I've told her to pet dogs, that they won't hurt her, but she always refuses.

4. I'm allergic to cats, so I can't have one. Three times I have gotten rashes after coming in contact with cats. Of course, it's not life-threatening, I could still have a cat, but it sure would be annoying suffering from allergies all the time. (And since cats don't like me, I think I'd get along better with a dog.)

5. My dad is allergic to dogs, according to the doctor. I might've mentioned this in an old post. The doctor told him that he's allergic to dogs (guess he found out by giving my dad an injection of something doggish - yeah, I know, that's not a real word - and deduced that he's allergic) but I have never seen him react to dogs. So it's probably a lie. But I don't know for sure.

Anyways, I've wanted to have a dog since about second grade, though I didn't start to nag often until middle school. But even after years and years, I have not managed to convince my mom. She half-jokingly made an offer to me many years ago, saying that if I quit going on the Internet, I could have a dog. I suspect that she only offered that to me because she didn't think I would be able to do it. I have considered quitting the computer (except for homework purposes, I suppose) so that I can have a dog, but I'm not completely sure she would hold up her end of the bargain. Besides, there are lots of things on the Internet that I still want to do - post on my blog, for one. And so I am still stuck in this dogless, catless state. I'll probably be like this until I move out (my mother is always saying I can have a dog...when I'm an adult. It's rather frustrating. She says I'm not responsible enough to take care of one anyways, since I've broken my DS and a camera, as well as lost a jacket, homework assignments, and various other things).

Labels: adoption, allergies, animals, cat, deal, dog, fair, family, internet, mother, pet, petco, reasons, town cats

Blood crosses. They happen when siblings, or cousins, or some other kind of relatives have children together. It's something that disturbs me a bit. I suppose you could fall in love with a relative, but it's a bit frightening what things could happen as a result of such a relationship.

I heard mention of it in the book called The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, by David Wroblewski. The Sawtelles, the family upon which the book focuses, keep careful records of every dog they have bred so that no dog will have a blood cross. Blood crosses have sometimes resulted in physical defects, both in animals and in people.

I was reading National Geographic not that long ago (it is one of my favorite magazines, after all, and I renew my subscription every time it runs out) and apparently it seems that King Tut may have been the result of crossed blood...And that could be why he is pictured with a cane (had some sort of foot problem from the blood cross, perhaps? And maybe he had a weak immune system, too, which would have contributed to his death at such a young age). Among royalty it isn't uncommon to have blood crosses. Sometimes it's to preserve political power (which confuses me a little, because if you wanted to be more powerful, wouldn't it be better to marry someone out of your family so you would have more connections? But oh well) and other times people do fall in love with their family members.

There was also a guy who was French royalty who had crossed blood flowing in him and he developed slowly (I think he couldn't walk until 7? Or something freaky like that) and he didn't live that long. Isn't that painful? The odds are against you from birth. If you're the child of two relatives, then there's a possibility that both of them have a recessive gene that could cause problems, and if you happened to be unlucky enough, you might be born with those two recessive genes put together, and you would suffer from whatever problem the gene causes. And you'd be doomed to get cancer over and over again or die early, and so on. (Hmm, I suppose you could end up with such genes even if you didn't have crossed blood, but in that case you'd have to have two people meet who had some sort of similarities in genes, and I guess considering the amount of people out there it would happen, but then again there are a lot of combinations of genes that are possible, too...Well, never mind me, just talking to myself. Really. No one reads this besides my future self anyways.) I guess in that case you might not be able to change your fate. But I've heard this quote that "It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years", so even if you know you don't have long to live, search for happiness. You're alive, so go and live as much as you can! That's still something I need to do.

I've been concerned about bloodlines because of my grandparents on my mother's side. People in China don't necessarily change their last names when they get married. In the case of my grandma, she already had the same last name as my grandpa, so there was no need to change last names. True, there are a lot of people in China, and you'll certainly meet people with the same last name, but it made me think that there's probably a blood cross, even if it's somewhere way back. A bit freaky to think about. One time I said to my mom, "So that's why you're so twisted!" (referring to her personality) which made her become indignant. XD But anyways, don't be like me, don't joke about it. "Do as I say, not as I do."

My science teacher showed us a website that contains a world clock. You can see births, deaths, illness, crimes, and whatnot. A bit morbid, I guess, watching as the number of deaths go up (there are really a lot of people who die of respiratory infections!) but it's kind of fascinating too. Here's the url:

http://www.poodwaddle.com/clocks/worldclock/

Labels: blood, book, clock, cross, death, family, genetics, health, life, national geographic, personality, problems, relatives, sickness, the story of edgar sawtelle, what if, world

The book I just read and the book I'm reading now are both similar and different at the same time. I'll start off with the differences.

THE QUEEN'S SOPRANO by Carol Dines
- A girl named Angelica Voglia living in Rome. She has a wonderful singing voice.
- She wants to be able to sing freely, but the pope has forbidden women to sing in public. She has fallen in love with a French artist named Theodon. But her mother dreams of riches and a luxurious life, so she tries to marry her daughter off to a noble.
- In order to escape her fate, she pretends to be going along with her mother's plan but then moves to the palace of Queen Christina, who rules one of the two quarters not dominated by the Pope. She becomes a singer for the Queen.
- The man who was going to marry Angelica was very upset, thinking that Angelica's mother had lied to him. He punished the Voglia family by slicing the cheeks of Angelica's father and cutting off the ear of Angelica's brother. After the incident Angelica's mother wanted nothing to do with Angelica. Eventually she descended into madness.

SISTERS IN SANITY by Gayle Forman
- Brit Hemphill, who lives with her father, stepmother, and baby brother, is sent to a center that is supposed to provide therapy to girls with problems (drug abuse, depression, even being overweight). At the place there is terrible food, cameras to spy on you, and you can't complain to your parents about the camp (in fact, you have to reach a certain "level" before you're even allowed to write letters to anyone).
- Brit starts to suspect that the reason why she was sent away (she doesn't really have any major problems; despite being a musician, she is not into drugs) is that she is similar to her mother and her father fears the same thing that happened to her mother will happen to her. They used to live together as one happy family, but then her mother developed mental problems. She refused treatment. Eventually she ran off and they haven't seen her since.

It's kind of spooky that I unintentionally selected two books on the same day at the library that both have mothers who go insane. Is it some weird talent or is it just a coincidence?

Labels: abuse, books, carol dines, coincidence, family, fate, gayle forman, history, insane, italy, mental, rome, singing, sisters in sanity, the queen's soprano, therapy

Secret might not be the right word in this case, seeing as I see bees in public places like near the post office and at schools.

I just felt like using this title. I once read a book called The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. (Unfortunately, I can't quite remember how the ending went because it was a few years ago. I guess if you read a lot of books and if you get distracted by daily life, it's easy to forget the specifics of books you've read.) Apparently there's a movie now, too.

Some time back, I was at the place I usually spend my brunch break at school, when it seemed that a few people were looking at something. I heard someone say, "Oh no! You've killed it!" so I went over to investigate. It was a very weak-looking bee on the ground. It was still alive, but it was unable to fly and grew more and more pitiful until it couldn't even bother to twitch a leg. One of my friends and I tried to bring it back to life, and transported it using a stick to a leaf. It seemed like the bee was unable to hold on to the leaf - it slipped downward little by little, and we became fearful that it would tumble in to the bushes, never to be seen again. But it seemed to regain some semblance of life and started to move a little.

We tried to put it on a flowering tree, but the bee was not interested and fell onto the ground. Then another girl came along, seemingly out of nowhere, and picked up the bee with her hands. The bee seemed to be much more energetic upon being touched by a human and began to move actively. The girl started to walk off, so we followed her to the grass field, where she set the bee down on the grass.

Today I came across another bee, though it was not so close to death as the one I had seen previously. It was still moving along, though it seemed to also be unable to fly. My friends and I tried to get it interested in a flower, but the bee was not interested. It would turn and change directions every time we shoved the flowers in its face. We also tried leaves and sticks but the bee would fall off every time we tried to move it from one place to another. One time it seemed as though we had been successful, as the bee was finally displaying interest in the flowers, but then the bee fell off again. My friend insisted on handing whatever stick or leaf the bee was climbing on to me because she feared the bee would sting her. I think it's fine as long as the bee is unable to move quickly and if you avoid the rear end of the bee. After seeing the girl from before handle a bee, and as they seemed to get along quite well, I am less fearful of bees (at least, bees that are walking on the ground, not the very active bees flying about at the speed of light).

I am hoping to use such logic to convince my mother to let me have a dog. If you are not familiar with something, it is not unusual to be fearful of it. In fact, I was intimidated by dogs, but I've met several of them and realized there is nothing to worry about (except for perhaps abused dogs and dogs with rabies). I've petted dogs and been licked by them and they have not bitten me. Be sure to pay attention to body language of animals, though...If a dog is growling at you, it's best to keep away from it.

My mother hasn't really been around dogs, and she dislikes them. I think it also has to do with my grandma getting bitten by a dog. I wish my mother would give dogs a chance and spend some time with them. She might feel more kindly towards them if she'd only interact with them a little. (If she still dislikes dogs after that, then I can't hold it against her.) My mom continues to say that I can have a dog...When I'm a responsible adult. That will still be quite a few years away. And I'm not patient. Especially when I could die anytime and lose my chance forever.

Labels: bees, bite, book, chance, danger, death, dog, family, fear, ground, humans, insects, interact, life, safety, sting, stubborn, the secret life of bees, transportation, wish

Do not be alarmed. The sky is not falling. Your hair is not on fire. Your family and friends are all alive and well. The world is not ending.

The running that I am referring to here is not running for survival, but as part of a chosen lifestyle.

Judging from what I am hearing and seeing at my school, being a teacher can be a really great job. Sure, you might catch colds from the kids, have to deal with rude and overly talkative children, and complain about not being paid as much as you deserve, but teaching has its perks, too. You receive pension when you're retired, and you can go to school with your kids, if you're like my math teacher (his kids are in middle school right now, so he gets to go to school and leave school with them!). You also get to watch kids grow up and have a hand in how they turn out. It must be really cool seeing your students come back many years later, mature and successful.

The PE teachers have a nice time. They can be outside in the fresh air and have less grading to do than other teachers, but they are paid the same. They can exercise if they feel like it or they can just stand and order the kids to do something. And I don't think you would normally have to work overtime. (My parents still do work at home after they get back at work. I think it's more lax if you're a PE teacher.)

I heard that one of the PE teachers injured his Achilles tendon and it was driving him crazy because he couldn't run. I'm very fearful of getting my Achilles tendon hurt because of how important it is - you could be out for a year, depending on how bad the injury is. It's pretty important in walking and running. It was already bad enough those times I sprained my ankle and kept getting left behind when I tried to run in PE.

I just really wish I could live the active lifestyle. Even the non PE teachers have the chance to pursue athletic hobbies. One time, during PE class, I saw my history teacher jogging on the track. Maybe it was his prep period and he didn't have anything to do so he decided to enjoy the nice weather. I wish I could be as lucky as him, doing a job that I like and also doing one of my hobbies at work.

I am sad about going to high school because I don't think I'll be able to take PE every year. I know I will take it for at least two years, one time in 9th grade, and the other not determined yet. I really want to take PE every year because I fear I will not exercise enough without it. But I don't know if I can. We can only take a certain amount of classes. And it really saddens me.

Labels: achilles tendon, classes, family, health, high school, hobbies, injury, jealousy, job, life, lifestyle, mature, overtime, PE class, pros and cons, running, school, teacher, time, wish

The title of this post may confuse you. What I'm trying to do here is play on the phrase, "Like father, like son" or "Like mother, like daughter".

On Saturday, I had two piano recitals to attend. My piano teacher has a lot of students, so she has two recitals. Most students only perform in one recital, except for a few exceptions. In the afternoon, I was number 18 in the lineup and played the song Nocturne in F Minor, Op 55 No 1. I left for home after my performance so I could relax a bit and eat dinner before returning for the second recital. When I arrived back at the church (we always have our recitals at a certain church, I suppose you can rent it for performances, seeing as it has a piano), I saw some people coming out of the church and standing in the parking lot.

I saw two girls, and I think they were probably sisters. They were both wearing a jacket sort of thing and dresses. Also, both of them seemed to like swinging their legs around. One girl swung one of her legs back and forth, while the other girl did some movements that looked like kicks. o_o;; I suppose sisters behave alike. I think my mom and aunt are similar in ways too.

Sometimes I wonder what my sibling(s) would be like if I had any. Would my sibling, like me, favor my father's genes, or my mother's? Would my sibling be a mix of my parents? Or would he/she look like neither? What kind of interests and personality would he/she have? Would we get along? Would we fight all the time? Would we barely talk to each other?

As an only child, I think of how things could have different if I hadn't been an only child. People who do have siblings oftentimes think that it must be nice to be an only child. You don't have to share your toys, or if you're a younger child, you won't have to deal with getting hand-me-downs (well, unless they're from other relatives or something). And your parents' attention is focused on you, you, you. You are, however, your parents' only posterity, and their expectations rest on you solely (though I hear sometimes oldest siblings still feel the burden of being expected to do great things, at least in the case of someone I know). I'm just fortunate that my parents are not as driven as some parents. One of my classmates said her father threatened to disown her if she didn't get an A in math.

But sometimes, even if you're an only child, you might still feel like you're being compared to someone. And in that case it's even harder than being compared to a sibling. If you're compared to your siblings, at least you know what you're up against, but if you're being compared to an imaginary, perfect child, or to all other successful people in general, it's a lot harder.

I used to feel like I was being forced to be someone, to be "smart" and earn a lot of money, but after a while I began to realize the pressure mostly didn't come from my parents. Some of the pressure came from seeing other students and their ambitions, but in fact, I believe I have created some of the stress upon myself, too. I often seem to have an angel and demon on my shoulders - the angel says that I must stop getting distracted, and focus very seriously on my work - while the demon says, "Oh, just a few more minutes won't hurt. You have to have some fun." And then I end up in anguish for having cheated myself by not listening to the angel and not achieving my potential. When I am upset over a test score, it's not exactly the grade that really bothers me, but the feeling of having failed, and not done as much as I could have and should have.

Well, back to the topic of being an only child...This may vary from person to person, depending on personality and a person's experiences, but I think only children are probably more likely to get lonely. I personally feel like I might be closer to or more reliant on my parents, as they are the only real family I have (I do have grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, but I don't see them much), and so I feel the absence of their presence more deeply. (Sometimes I even thought I wanted to die at the same time as my parents or before them so that I wouldn't need to feel the pain from their deaths.) I wonder if this is just one of life's many hurdles. After all, no one ever said life was easy (or did someone?).

Labels: absence, ambition, comparison, failure, family, life, like father like son, only child, perfection, piano, pressure, problem, recital, relatives, siblings, similar, sister, stress, theory

Y'know, Andrew Jackson's name is very similar to the name of my favorite teacher...

Andrew Jackson was the 7th President of the United States.
A war hero, from the Battle of New Orleans and an invasion of Florida.
A husband and father, married to a woman named Rachel (very complicated situation regarding that, but never mind it for now).
The installer of the spoils system and Jacksonian democracy.
A person who tried to kill the National Bank.
(...If you're confused about this, look it up. Personally I recommend Wikipedia. XD)

And this is my retelling of his story. It is mostly made up, so do not take it seriously. It's just for fun, seeing as we haven't gotten to write fiction all year in school.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a boy. He was born to two people who were quite vocal about their opinions. Even at the age of five, he was already a mischievous, energetic boy who threw terrible tantrums when he didn't get his way. His family moved to a new town, which unfortunately did not welcome them. The town was a small one, set in its ways, fearing the changes that the outspoken, troublemaking family might bring, tried to drive them out. When the family stubbornly refused, a few particularly fearful townspeople encouraged others to help them burn down their house. Although the family managed to escape the fire alive, their home and farmland had been burned to the ground, the animals had disappeared, and they were all injured from the fire. Andrew's parents had been burned and were coughing heavily from the smoke that had entered their lungs, and they lived for a while, all of them in the wilderness, before they died.

Only Andrew was alive, and he was very weak and confused. This wasn't his first time facing death - truth be told, he actually spent time burning ants with a magnifying glass in his backyard (Oh! The horror!) - but he hadn't thought his parents would die on him. He didn't believe it at first. He poked them and tried to peel their eyes open and even screamed as loud as he could in their ears. But soon he was worn out and frustrated from his lack of success, and very hungry. He couldn't find anything to eat, besides mushrooms, which looked rather poisonous. Frustrated, he curled up in a ball on the ground, and fell into an uneasy sleep, accompanied only by his growling stomach.

While he was dozing, a few wolves came along, cautiously sniffing their way through the forest. Farmers often tried to shoot the wolves whenever they saw them, thinking the wolves would eat their livestock. The wolves smelled death, and followed it, but the meat did not look too appetizing. The two dead humans that the wolves discovered had all sorts of weird things on them, something that looked like a band with metal on it, and something on their feet that was hard and brown. The wolves smelled something living, too, and that was Andrew Jackson.

The wolves were faced with the decision of what to do with him.
1. Eat him (Not good...He didn't have much meat on him)
2. Leave him there (Not good either...He might scare away the other wildlife if he was left to his own devices)
3. Bring him with them (Not really that great either, but the wolves decided on that. They were curious to see what he would do.)

And so he was dragged along by the collar of his shirt to the wolves' den. The feeling of being pulled along on rocks and dirt woke him up, but he was still too tired to realize what was going on, and once he had been laid down on the ground, he went right back to sleeping.

He woke up later, feeling something poking him (it was a wolf prodding him with a paw), and sat up with a jolt. The wolves leaped backwards, startled. Andrew rubbed his eyes and studied his surroundings. He was lying in the shade of a tree, and there was a rocky outcropping nearby, under which the wolves lived, presumably. The wolves looked at him warily, wondering what the human boy would do now that he had been revived. Andrew realized his parents were nowhere to be seen, but then his stomach grumbled in protest, and he forgot about it.

Andrew noticed a dead deer, which had been killed by the wolves. He wasn't sure he'd be able to eat raw meat, so he tore at the deer until he had a hefty piece in his hand, and then left the area, looking for a fire or some other thing he could cook it with. One of the wolves almost chased after him, unhappy at the loss of food, but was stopped by his brethren. They decided that the human was probably leaving and would not be their problem anymore.

But that was not to be. Andrew Jackson soon trotted back, holding a stick on which the deer meat was skewered, and he was eating it with relish. He had poached some flint and managed to make a fire, and then roasted his meat campfire style. Jackson was already on the way to being a gourmet chef (but unfortunately, there was no TV at the time, and so he couldn't host his own cooking show).

Andrew's mind was much clearer now that food had quelled his hunger, and so he watched the wolves curiously. They, as well, stared back at him in interest. Andrew figured that if he seemed like one of them, he'd be able to interact with the wolves. He tried a howl, but it sounded terrible, because Andrew had never been a good singer. The wolves found this hilarious and began to bark in laughter.

Andrew began taking on the ways of the wolves, trying to become one of them. He would run with them, but he couldn't keep up, nor did he have the ability to hunt the way they did. He had to make do with traps he had devised, which could catch small prey. He slept with the wolves in their den now, and it was a cozy and pleasant time. Each day seemed fresh and new and exciting, and Andrew felt glad to be alive, for he enjoyed being in the outdoors, with so much freedom.

These days, however, were not to last. Years had passed, and by now Andrew was about ten years old. The wolves were relaxing after having eaten and Andrew was experimenting with his new idea for a food (he thought that perhaps he could create a sweet treat, a kind of fluffy white candy that could be cooked over a campfire, which he later called a "marshmallow") when they heard the sound of voices and feet stepping on brush. The wolves perked up, baring their teeth, and seeing their discomfort, Andrew put aside his primitive cooking utensils and hid himself as best he could.

The noise turned out to be from people, rugged men on horses with loaded guns and who chewed and spat and peered around with squinted eyes. The wolves were immediately alarmed. These men had probably come to exterminate them, as wolves were considered pests. The wolves had dealt with human guns in the past and knew just how deadly they could be. There was nothing to be done but to leave and run away until the men gave up chasing them.

Andrew couldn't keep up with the wolves, unfortunately, and the wolves were in too much of a rush to wait for him. Though he was a wiry and strong boy, he tripped over a tree root. Frustrated, he let out a yell and tried to break off the limb of a tree, but it only swung back and thwacked into his face. He could hear footsteps again; the hunters had heard him and realized that there was a person in the wilderness.

The wolf hunters came over to him, and one of them, a man with bushy eyebrows and a mustache that he could wiggle, said to him, "What's yourr name, son?"
Andrew could still understand English, but not very well. His brow furrowed in thought. But no matter how long he thought, he couldn't think of it. "Not know," he said to the man.
The man gave him a puzzled frown and conversed with his fellows before saying, "Well, where is your family, son?"
Andrew thought of saying the wolves were his family, but he figured the hunters would not take too well to it. In fact, they'd probably think he was lying and burst into hearty peals of laughter. Later they would probably talk about the funny boy they'd met when drinking in a pub.
"Not know. Maybe dead."
The men talked amongst themselves once more, and then the man got off his horse and lifted Andrew onto it. "We'll go to town, then. There's a family that might take ya." And off they went to the town just outside the woods, with Andrew looking back wistfully, having left behind the kitchen tools he'd just made.

Andrew Jackson had to get used to civilization again, and it was an uphill battle. He had never been formally schooled in his life and was illiterate. At first the other children made fun of him, but they soon learned that he had a short temper and settled all disputes with violence. Many a child had to stay home and recuperate from black eyes, broken noses, and all other sorts of scrapes and bruises. Andrew was sent to church over and over again to repent, but he would just slump over in a pew, stubborn and sullen as usual. The reverend took this to mean that Andrew was not willing to atone for his sins and apologize to God, and so Andrew Jackson earned the reputation of being "unchristian and unfit for civil life".

Jackson continued to be misunderstood by his peers, even as he grew to be an adult. He wasn't really such a mean person, but he had become bitter from all the things people had said and done to him, and so the boy he actually wanted to be, a quiet, happy boy living a peaceful life, had disappeared, covered by the self he showed to others, so frustrated and lonesome he had felt. One of the first people to sympathize with him was a woman named Rachel, who could understand that feeling of other people being so hard to deal with and how sometimes you just felt like running away from life.

Having lived away from people, Jackson needed a bit of help melting back into human culture, and Rachel suggested marriage. It was a human tradition to get married, after all. Jackson learned about Rachel's unhappy marriage and how her husband was saying he wanted to get a divorce, so they got married, since Rachel was the most reasonable choice for Andrew.

Jackson also learned that politics was the human thing to do. So he got into it, as well as war, though war was a dreadful thing. But he was still impulsive and made decisions like taking over Florida (wanted to try the orange juice, and he was forbidden by Spain to take any).

Then he was shocked by the death of Rachel. This was the first death he could really remember. At least his parents had died long, long ago, and he couldn't remember too much of it. But now, here was his best friend of more than thirty years dying on him. Andrew forgot about all that he'd been working on and let his inner anger take over. That boy who had been wild, partying and playing games when he was supposed to be studying to be a lawyer, came back, after he'd spent so much time crushing it down. And after he avenged Rachel, by kicking out everyone he thought was to blame for her death, he still felt empty inside. And he went on to get rid of the Native Americans and the National Bank.

But it was never enough. And it never would be.

(Ugh...This story didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I got too confused because I would stop and starting writing it once in a while. Oh yeah, and I'll be gone from March 7th-12th, so don't expect to hear anything from me in the meantime)

Labels: andrew jackson, anger management, church, death, education, family, fiction, florida, horse, hunters, marshmallow, meat, politics, rachel, revenge, story, violent, war, wilderness, wolves

Uh, no, I haven't been trying to mix blood and water together in a glass or something like that, don't worry. I'm not one of those people who does things at home when they were told "don't try this at home".

What I mean by blood is heritage. Genes. Posterity. The person or people that will carry your torch when you no longer can. For several years, I have thought that if I decide to raise children, I want one of them to be an adopted child. I once said so to my grandmother, and she reacted in a way that I found strange. She seemed repelled by the idea, even a bit angry. Back then, I didn't know why. But earlier today, my mom gave me some information.

My mom said she didn't understand why I wanted an adopted child. "If you want children, couldn't you have some of your own?" she asked. (She thinks it's reasonable for people to adopt children if they are unable to get pregnant.) Personally, I think adopting children is good because...

1. I read somewhere that siblings that aren't related by blood get along better. (That means I could have one child of my own, and adopt one child.) I think that's good, if it's true, because kids often feel unhappy or underappreciated if they are compared to their siblings. One of my friends says she feels her mother is easier on her sister. I don't want my children to treat each other badly and resent each other.

2. It is helpful in reducing world population. If I had a child, I'd be adding to it, but if I adopted one, the population wouldn't change because that child is "already there". I'm really upset about overpopulation. In fact, I sometimes think of drastic schemes to reduce it. (Like researching diseases and creating or finding one that could just infect people I don't like, and not hurt others. This way criminals and people with irksome personalities could be removed. But I guess then someone would say, "You have to give them a second chance! They can change!")

3. Orphans seem more exciting. Probably actual orphans would find this offensive since it is not a good thing to lose your parents (unless they were really terrible ones). But still, you see orphans in books and movies and all, and that is because they're more interesting. Imagine, if I had an adopted child who was orphaned, they could write something dramatic for their college application.

Then I asked my mom what my grandma found wrong with adoption. My mother responded that it was simply the old beliefs of China. Bloodline is very important (such as having sons to pass on your last name) and so having an adopted child isn't good since they have, really, no relation in genetics (unless you were to adopt a relative, or something?). Also, my mom said that sometimes adopted children lead troubled lives. She knows someone who adopted a child who sometimes gets very angry and needs to be taken to the hospital to be calmed down.

The problems started with acne. The boy reached the age where he was going through puberty. His mother figured it was okay to let it be since his father had acne when he was that age and had grown out of it. However, although his parents didn't mind his face because he was, after all, their son, the boy feared that his classmates would keep away from him because of the acne on his face. He grew very sensitive about it and resented his parents for not taking him to a doctor (I mean, then he could've gotten some medicine. I heard his acne was pretty bad, worse than average) and even struck his mother. Sometimes he would get into a real frenzy and he'd be taken to the hospital to be electrocuted or some other cruel and unusual thing to calm him down. But such effects are only temporary, after all, and so he also grew to hate the hospital because of what was done to him there.

This did make me a bit more wary, but I still will not change my mind about wanting to adopt a child. I think this kind of situation can be prevented if you are very aware of what your child is thinking. I know probably even if a mother asked her child what he or she did at school, he or she might still respond, "Oh, nothin'," or "the usual". Even if it makes you appear bossy and annoying, you should try to worm it out of your child. You should keep everything out in the open in your family. But don't tell your child's problems to other people. Otherwise, I bet anyone would feel like they have to keep things to themselves if they don't want the whole world, or at least the people whose opinions they care about, to know.

Hmm, I haven't decided where to adopt a child, though. Maybe I'll go to China and adopt one of the young girls there. (There are more girls in orphanages and stuff than boys, because you can only have one child in China unless you pay the fine or something, and people prefer to have a son. Especially in the countryside, because sons will stay and work, but girls will marry off) I mean, I might even be able to find someone who looked like me. (But then it would be harder to explain to them that they are adopted since they'd be saying, "What? But I look like Mommy" or "I don't remember any other parents")

Labels: acne, adoption, blood, children, china, daughter, disease, family, lineage, orphan, parents, population, pregnancy, problem, relationship, relatives, rivalry, secret, siblings, water

Well, I wasn't really under house arrest. But I thought it kind of made sense considering the kind of dream I had last night.

In the dream, I was not in my home. It was in someone else's home, though my dad's friend and his son were also there. However, my father seemed to be missing. Perhaps we had been staying at the house. I was told that I had to go stay in the prison. There were two signs in the house, both of which had an apple symbol on them for some reason, and the signs led to two different jail cells, I guess. I wailed, "Do I really have to go?" My mom said that yes, I had to, it was for the best. The people at the house recommended one of the jail cells. I wasn't sure how to get into it since it seemed like just a vent. Then I pulled up and realized underneath the floor was a big room! It was filled with guitars and CDs. There was a bed (and maybe a computer, but I can't remember). I hopped down, deciding being imprisoned wouldn't be so bad after all. But then I wondered how I would get up to go to the bathroom at night...

I had another dream before that, where I was going to go to my mom's friend's house. I thought we were in Yosemite. My dad and I were walking in a place with those barbed wire fences and plants. There was a big gap in the fence where you could see a splendid view. A tree stood on top of a very tall and thin hill, and there was a lot of space around it. And surrounding the big chasm was rocky mountainous walls. I was going to take a photo, but my dad pulled me away before we had the chance. Then we went to my mom's friend's house. I don't know why, but my mom's friend introduced herself to me. I just kind of shrugged and went to explore the house. In one room, there were some kids, like a girl maybe around my age and a younger boy and someone else, and they were playing a game. (I'm guessing a card game but my memory is failing.) I joined in, but they were cheating and playing by ridiculous rules. I got angry and through down my cards and stalked off. The kids just laughed. I wanted to go back to the place with the great view. (Apparently in my dream Yosemite National Park is not somewhere you have to drive to get to but it is actually partially in the town that my mom's friend lived in) I walked down the street. It was nighttime now and some signs were starting to get lit up. I think I saw a Circus Circus sign. I think I must've been in a gambling town or something. (But it was nothing like Reno or Las Vegas or Monte Carlo.) I can't remember much else.

The earliest dream of the three that I had recently was a dream about my JubJub. I have this plushie of a kind of pet that looks like a head with little feet on it. I thought it was cute when I got it (from McDonalds with my Happy Meal in...2nd grade?). It looks like this.

My mother said to me, "We are selling JubJub." I was very upset and started to cry. My mother wouldn't budge. Apparently she really needed the money. I woke up feeling just awful, but then I figured out it was a dream and was greatly relieved.

Today I participated in a piano recital. It was at a local church, which is rented by various music teachers for their recitals. As a kind of promotion, or maybe a bonus, there was a recital with all the teachers renting the place in the first half of the year showing off their best students. I didn't want to go, but I figured it might make my piano teacher upset if I refused, so I went. I think I messed up very obviously one time. And I was scared to death before; my legs were shaking, my hands were cold, and my heartbeat was amazingly high. (Sadly, even exercise can't make my heartbeat that high. Only public performing can. Oddly enough, one time when I had my heartbeat taken at the doctor's office, it was really slow. I think it was about 44 or 46 beats per minute. That's scary. Only athletes are supposed to have such slow heartrates. In fact, children 6-15 should have a heartbeat of 70-100. My dad insulted me by saying I wasn't active enough) Still, I feel like I was able to put my emotions into my music, and that's good enough for me.

I stayed a while to listen to other students. I also listened to the students that came before me. (My teacher's students perform towards the middle of the recital) There were quite a few violinists there. I suppose this is the "cream of the crop" as they all played with vibrato. However, the high notes sounded kind of nasty. (But I guess it might always be like that for violin. That's one of the reasons I picked cello. And I think my old orchestra teacher once said that people who use that high-pitched E string on their violins should be shot.) But they were talented students, I can say that much. There was one cello player. My mom says he didn't have a good attitude since he wore casual clothing, and when he was walking up the aisle he didn't lift the cello high enough so the part on the bottom of the cello hit the ground. But the song he played was good. It felt very sad and I was getting really emotional at first. The song sounded pretty cool, like it should be in a touching movie or something.

I actually really liked the part where a young boy and a woman (was it a relative of his? Was it his teacher? I forget) played together on the piano. It was a simple song, I think Liszt was the composer...Unfortunately, I don't remember the song name, and it wasn't on the program paper (each performer tells the audience their name and what they're performing). But they played in unison and that simple song sounded beautiful. I was inspired to play it. (But I don't have anyone at my house who could play a duet with me...Unless I were to teach my parents to play the piano...)

Labels: casino, church, dream, duet, family, friends, games, heart rate, house, instrument, jubjub, neopets, photography, piano, plushie, prison, recital, room, song, yosemite

Recently, my household had two visitors. One of them was a guy who lives in Shanghai who is here in California on a business trip, and he was a university classmate of my mother. And the other one was my grandma's friend's son, who is currently studying in San Francisco for his master's degree. Both of them came at the same time.

The younger guy, the one who resides in San Francisco, always insists on using an honorific to address my mother. (I guess you would call it an honorific, but I'm not sure what it should really be called) He previously used the title that means older sister, but that seems nonsensical seeing as my mom is the same age as his mom. So he changed to saying a word that means aunt after her name instead. My mom says that he can just call her by her name, forget the honorifics, but he still went with the aunt word.

I remember when I was younger, still in elementary school, my aunt, uncle, and cousins came over to stay at our house during the summer. I was really annoyed by having them around at that time. For one thing, they kept calling me by my name followed by the word that means older sister. I never understood it because I'm not their sister, so I insisted they just use my name, nothing else, but it was pretty hard for them to manage that. I guess in Mandarin and the Shanghai dialect there isn't a way to address your cousin. Or maybe cousins are considered to be like siblings.

Also, there was the time that my cousin was threatening to turn off my Gamecube. I was afraid he would really do it. I sat on him so he wouldn't be able to touch the button. However, this was very traumatizing to him (maybe I was really heavy and cut off his circulation?) and he ran to his mother saying I had hit him. I denied it, but I wasn't able to explain myself since I wasn't fluent enough in Chinese (and at the time, I couldn't speak French; my aunt's family lives in Paris).

My mom said my cousins would grow more mature with time, but they haven't improved all that much. A few years ago, I went on vacation to Europe and visited my aunt's family in Paris. The cousins were irrepressible as always and insisted on sitting next to me in the car and playing my Nintendo DS. (I think they have their own DS now, though) One time my cousin sneezed on it, which was really disgusting. Anyhow, if I didn't sit next to them in the car they would throw a fit. (I didn't want to put up with their antics so I sat in the back next to my grandma and mom, meaning to take a nap, but not managing it)

My family has been considering another vacation to Europe, except we want to see different places there, like perhaps Barcelona, Spain, or Italy (though people say Barcelona is better...Hmm. If you've been there, let me know what you think). We'll probably be taking a cruise since we haven't been on one since I was still in elementary school. It'll be in the summertime, which is best for me, as I won't be stressed from school. Unfortunately, if I go to Europe I will have to visit my cousins. My mom got annoyed and said that I could just go home early and not stop by Paris, while she visited her sister, but then I can't really fall asleep if my mom isn't there. I guess I have a mother complex.

On to other matters. Today, it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so both my dad and I had the day off. (Most people are still working today, because they usually get Presidents' Day off, but my dad's company is an exception.) We went to various places, like REI, Any Mountain, Jamba Juice, Whole Foods, Petco, and Petsmart. I was looking for a hat to buy for Yosemite because apparently it's going to be cold and the one place you can lose heat the most easily is through your head. I was meaning to get one of those with earflaps because I thought it'd be better for keeping my ears warm. (They have to be fairly warm. When my ears get cold, I get headaches.) I picked one hat from REI and one from Any Mountain and decided I would let my mom make the decision since I have no idea which one I like better.

I haven't been to Petco for a long time because there used to be one in my town but it closed down years back. I noticed that there was a section with animals to be adopted. (Petsmart also has one, but they only have cats...At least usually.) There were two rabbits, some hamsters/mice (I didn't pay that much attention, I'll just call them rodents) and I think probably a cat or two. I was watching a particularly energetic rodent (I'm guessing it's a dwarf hamster?) named Boggle. He was behaving rather curiously. Sometimes he would get onto his wheel and start running, then he'd get off, and get back on and change direction, and sometimes he would run like crazy, but other times he looked kind of bored. Very interesting. I read on his description that he likes to take food, piece by piece, to his plastic castle, and stash it there for later.

Labels: adoption, behavior, boggle, chinese, cruise ship, dwarf, europe, family, friends, gamecube, hamster, hat, honorifics, interesting, martin luther king, name, petco, relatives, shopping, vacation

Executive toys are basically things that people who work in corporations might keep on their desk. These items are nice to look at, or can be used for amusement, or something along those lines. (Note: This is my own definition of it, so I'm sorry if it is rather awkward) The typical executive toy would be Newton's cradle. A basic one is pictured below.

Though I don't have one myself, I think that basically, you pull back a ball at the end (either side should work) and it will hit the other balls, causing the one at the other end to move. I'm not sure how this works but I'm going to guess it's transfer of force. (You should look it up for an explanation, I'm afraid I only have the vaguest ideas)

The executive toy I have in mind, though, is a Galileo thermometer. I had one delivered to my house just recently. It comes with not only a thermometer but also a barometric ball. (Barometers are used to measure pressure in the atmosphere) Basically, it looks like the picture below.

I really like the Galileo thermometer because it is shiny and has nice colors. I am fond of glass and such things in general, since they are shiny objects. Of course, it's more accurate to use a regular thermometer than a Galileo thermometer, but a Galileo thermometer is fun... I guess.

Yesterday, my parents' friends came over to our house. It seems like practically anytime there is a holiday, we'll go to someone else's house or someone else will come to our house. I guess it's because only holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year actually mean the adults get a day off. It's more convenient that way (especially since my mom's friend lives in Pleasanton, California, which is not that close to where I live). My mom's friend would like to go to Yellowstone National Park, and she wanted my mom to come along, but it would be a problem because I get motion sickness from driving so easily. There is no way to fly directly to Yellowstone, so it would definitely mean a road trip. Hearing my mom's friend say it would be hard to manage because of my carsickness made me feel kind of guilty (and also a little exasperated, because it's not like I can help getting carsick!) so I said to my parents, "Well, you can just go without me," after all the guests had left. But my parents said they didn't need to, because they had already been there.

I always get annoyed because my parents have been to places that I haven't. I want to travel all four corners of the globe (not that there are corners on a sphere), but there's still many places I have yet to go. Well, my parents have been to many states in the USA that I have NOT been to, like Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, South Dakota (and they got their Master's Degrees in North Dakota), Minnesota, Indiana, Utah, Arizona, and Texas. They traveled to those states when I was not yet alive. I feel like I've missed out on a lot.

There is something that has always troubled me, and that is my childhood memories. I am talking about the ones that go pretty far back, as in my toddler years. I don't seem to have any memories of my parents. This is surprising, considered that I was not an adopted child (I'm too similar to my dad for that to be true D: ), and so I must've spent at least some hours of every day with my parents (even if they were both working so I had to spend time being babysat or at preschool). I mean, family is important, so shouldn't I remember them? The only relative I remembered, oddly enough, was my grandma. For some reason I have this memory of her holding me, on a beach in Hawaii, with the sun setting. But although I have photos of my parents and I, I can't remember it at all... The human mind is a mysterious thing.

Labels: adoption, barometer, brain, carsick, executive toy, family, friends, galileo thermometer, grandmother, hawaii, memories, newton's cradle, parents, travel, united states of america, yellowstone

Just the other day, I went to a different dentist than my usual dentist. I've gone faithfully to the same dentist for many years now, but recently a problem has come up. My dentist is also an orthodontist, and he says I need to get braces because two of my teeth are at odd angles and need to be turned so they are facing the right way.

My mom and I hope that if the braces really aren't necessary, then I won't have to get them, since it costs quite a hefty sum, and besides it is a big hassle (have to brush after meals supposedly, and the metal can irritate your mouth, etc.).

So we went to a different orthodontist, who I believe was recommended by my mother's dentist (I would go to my mom's dentist, except I would have to miss school, because of the hours kept at her office), to get a "second opinion" on the matter. He was okay, I suppose. First he had me move my jaw up and down and things like that to see whether my jaws worked fine. Function is all A-OK, which means my teeth can do their job. That's a relief.

I was sure then that I wouldn't need them, but the orthodonist said for the sake of looks, it'd be better if my teeth were moved forward, which would probably make them fit together better and also would supposedly cause my mouth to stick out more. This is because the area between my nose and mouth is sort of flat which people think makes you look old. Hello, I am supposed to be an old lady! 4 billion years old!!! And so the orthodontist said I should have expanders first since it would change my bone structure, and that needs to be done now otherwise my bones will fuse and it will be impossible to change. The thing is, my mom and I don't think it's a good idea to change your bones, I mean, it could have some unforseen consequences, and it doesn't necessarily make you look better. Besides, I couldn't care less about whether it looks nicer (sorry, Tom Cruise - by the way, he had braces) as long as it doesn't cause me to have headaches or give me trouble eating.

So here we are in my family trying to make the decision. Should we go for it or not? It might be worth it considering that your smile might be nicer and then you could get a job or something. D: But then again, it might not be worth it, and that is the question. (Kind of like "To be or not to be")

Recently I found out that one of my teachers is an only child. It was before school started, and I had time to kill before first period. I went inside early because my teacher stuck his head out the door and said, "You can come in, you know." (I was standing outside reading a book) Well, I started doing the DO NOW (the teacher usually has a topic for us to write about in our notebooks. Let me give you an example: "List: What were the strengths and weaknesses of both sides in the American Revolution?" or "According to the Declaration of Independence, what is the purpose of government?) and then he came by and asked, "Do you have any older brothers and siblings?" So then I said, "No." Then he thought for a bit and asked, "So are you an only child?" To which I replied, "Yes." He asked me what I felt like being an only child, and I meant to say that I felt like my parent's expectations were all placed on me, like a burden, except instead I said something else, which the teacher misunderstood, because he thought I was talking about chores. o_O;; He said, "I know what you mean. I'm an only child, and I always had four times the chores as everybody else." And then another student, who was also in there early because he usually is, chimed in, "I'm not an only child, but I'm the oldest child in my family, and it's like that for me too."

And then my teacher said that how many siblings you have, and whether you're the oldest or youngest or middle or only child, could have an effect on your personality, and he said it would be interesting to find out about the families of the students. I think that'd be interesting too. But unfortunately we have to concentrate on learning the Constitution at the moment. D:

Labels: appearance, bone structure, braces, constitution, cosmetics, decision, dentist, do now, expectations, family, function, jaws, only child, orthodontist, personality, siblings, teacher, teeth

That would be my house. (Though maybe you think it's the last house on the street if you live farther down the street. But to me, it's the first house, because when you drive to the street where I live, my house is the first one on the right side.) Some mysterious happenings have been going on here lately, and the place that once seemed safe now feels dangerous.

Last night, I had a most unusual dream. Even though it is common for "kids" to get nightmares, when I was young, I never had any. But starting from this year I have started getting them. This was the most major nightmare I ever had. In my dream, I was woken up and was told by my mom that my dad had suffered a heart attack. I don't think I properly absorbed the news since I went numb and blank. Then finally I said, "He didn't have a pulse?" And my mom said, "No." I was in shock for a while. But then, later in the day, my dad walked down the hallway. I thought I was hallucinating. He was alive and didn't look unusual at all. He asked me what was wrong. Before I woke up for real, I was thinking, "But he was dead! My mom must've misjudged! People don't come back to life."

The other creepy thing that happened also had to do with death. Do you remember reading about the dead birds and other symbols that I was noticing/my mind was making up? (If not, refer to the posts ◆ something wicked this way comes, and ◆ the keys to the kingdom. They should be at the bottom of the September 2009 archive) Well, I hadn't seen any for a while since the two birds that had died, but in my backyard on the weekend, we found another one. There was a nice-looking bird on the ground, or at least, the bird used to look nice. Now it just looked gross because it was covered with ants and a few flies. It was really disturbing. My dad and I worked together to get rid of it. I used a big shovel to pick up the bird and dump it into the plastic bag my dad was holding. My dad tied up the bag and took it out to the trash.

Strangely, the dead bird with the ants swarming over it reminds me something my language arts teacher said. We were correcting a sample of a badly written memoir about a person and their dog. One of the sentences was something along the lines of "We where over my aunts house". Never mind the fact that it's the wrong word being used. Think about being over someone's house. Would that mean you're floating over it? Or on the roof? It should be "over at my aunt's house" or "at my aunt's house". My language arts teacher said that if you say "over my aunt's house" it seems like you are a bug or a pest running about the house. The thought of bugs reminded me of that dead bird with the bugs all over it.

I shall try to speak of something positive so the post will end on a good note and won't have you shuddering. It seems that my running seems to have improved (only on the warmup run, but better than nothing!). I used to always pull my PE shorts high up, sort of onto my stomach. Now I let them down a little more, so that it still is covering me adequately (no worries, I'm not going to try and "sag" like some people) but it is more at my waist than covering my stomach. It seems to help a lot with running. I can't believe I didn't figure this out sooner. XD

Labels: ant, birds, bugs, death, down, dream, family, father, flies, heart attack, house, life, mother, nightmare, over my aunt's house, reincarnation, running, shorts, strange

I know, libraries aren't like radios or something like that. But I was kind of suspicious. This year I joined the Summer Reading Celebration for two libraries, the Santa Clara County Library and the San Jose Library. I just wanted prizes and a chance to suggest books to people (because apparently you have to write a review if you signed up for the teen one). I don't remember whether I did it last year; maybe not, since I don't remember doing it. So I was surprised to see that it's online nowadays and not on a weird map in which you color in pawprints or something like that. I wonder if I should've put 8th grade or 7th grade. Not like it really matters, but I'm confusing since in the summer you are kind of in-between. Also, Mr. Robinson says when you start the school year you are still the previous grade, like if you start 8th grade he says, "You're still a 7th grader for a few weeks, until you kind of grow into it." Oh, and Mr. Robinson doesn't like 8th graders since he thinks they are more cocky, because they rule the school pretty much. (Not that all 8th graders are all like that. But I suppose the ones he knows are.)

Oops, I shouldn't stray too far off topic. What I realized was that both libraries I signed up for had pretty much the same system. The login information you need to give was very similar and the review system is, too. You write a review, rate the boo, and put the book title and author's name. Then you can read other reviews by other people and say Yes or No depending on whether you thought their review was helpful. It's just that at one of the libraries you can add a book to your reading list or something...So I suppose the libraries use pretty much the same system. I wonder if they knew that or if they copied each other by accident. (I mean, sometimes I see the exact same books with the exact same reviews written on both, so I guess I'm not the only one who participates in both summer reading celebrations. Except I write slightly different reviews for each library.)

Anyways. Summer is pretty slow for me so far. All I've really been doing is going on the computer to make graphics and post in forums, or I've been playing Wii Fit or practicing piano, or trying to remember things I have forgotten (like buying someone a birthday present! I was going to get her a book she wanted! I just reminded myself to go look up the price and where to get it). I haven't been sleeping much this summer. I just feel kind of restless and tired. But at least I have been able to find old stuffed animals I thought I lost. Like this red and black snake stuffed animal. He's too fake-looking to be freaky. (Too bad, then I could've startled my dad. I don't think he likes reptiles particularly much.)

Just a reminder to everyone! Father's Day is this weekend. Have you gotten presents for your father? A card at least? If you think your dad deserves a little something, you'd better get moving. Time is ticking. And TIME IS MONEY! (I'm only partially kidding.)

Labels: birthday, books, boredom, family, father's day, gift, growing, library, online, plushie, review, snake, summer reading celebration

I've heard this phrase in several places. I mean, even in Pokemon if you talk to a certain trainer after you defeat her she'll say that. And it is true, you will meet her again, because in Pokemon games you tend to travel around a lot, and besides she always stays in the same relative place.

But anyhow. The reason why I named the post this is that I have "met my playlist again". Previously when I tried to put the code for it into my blog, it wouldn't work. It'd end up in the wrong place, or it would ruin the rest of the coding so the layout wouldn't look right. Finally I've gotten it to stay. Only 30 seconds of Imeem songs really is just terrible. You can't even choose which 30 seconds of the song you want, though I have to say Imeem has more different songs than Playlist. I am so glad to get my playlist back up. True, I have maxed out my song total but I can just delete broken links to put in new songs. Or just make a second playlist. (It would be really funny if I put two playlists on my blog and they played at the same time) My Playlist doesn't exactly match the blog layout (because I am too lazy to find a background or something that would really match), and it's too big to really fit in the div, but whatever. I've gotten it to automatically play on shuffle, so you will hear a random song everytime you come onto this blog. (Just leave your speakers off if you don't want "speaker shock". I have a post somewhere in the past about "speaker shock".)

We saw two open houses today. It seems like this is unofficial Open House Weekend or something. When we were driving around doing things like going to lunch, the library, and so on, we saw a street corner with quite a few Open House signs. More than the usual amount, anyways. We decided to see two of them on Phar Lap Drive which is a steep residential rode connected to my own street, Mann Drive. Phar Lap is loads of fun to bike down because it is so steep, but it is a real pain getting back up again. By the way, I heard there is a long, sloped road in Hawaii somewhere. You can rent a bike or something and ride down the road. It is steep enough that you don't need to peddle, you just enjoy the wind rushing by, but it's not so steep you'd fall and die or something. So I would like to go there sometime. But back to the point. I don't want to get distracted.

There are two houses that I am quite fond of on the street known as Phar Lap. They are across the street from each other. I have written about one of the houses in the post known as ◆ fight, love, live. It's April 18th if you want to check the end of that post. So, the house I have seen before is Spanish-style, with cool things like being able to spy on your neighbors, a view of a creek, and a place next to the shower stall in which you can grow flowers. It even has a home movie theatre which I had not noticed last time. (Anyhow, the house price was like 2.5 million before, I think it was reduced since no one has bought it yet.) The other house, which I just saw the inside of today, is also European style. It appears to be long and thin. It has a small swimming pool and there are many, many balconies. There's a lot of stairs in the house. We had to go in through the back entrance since the realtor was temporarily out, probably doing something. It had many bedrooms (the bedrooms are small, but still, we could always convert some of them to another use), and an inlaw unit downstairs with a bathroom, hidden bed (it's a cabinet which you can use as a bed), kitchen, and TV with nice movie-like chairs. And upstairs was all the rest like dining rooms and the four other bedrooms and several nice bathrooms. This house costed 1.98 million and the price is negotiable so it is a good deal! (That is, if you can get a loan and are able to pay it off)

My parents seem to like the house we saw today better. They are both nice, really, but with different things. My dad says the architectural style of the second house is more unique and stuff. Well, I'm just annoyed by all the stairs. How are you supposed to get up and down them every day? I suppose it would make me more fit, at least. And my mom says if I really want a house that looks like the first one we should just remodel ours. My dad's friend's wife is an architect and she may be able to figure it out. (Still I would feel bad to have an exact copy of another house, you know?)

That reminds me, sometimes I wonder about getting my dad's friend's family to adopt me. They live in an apartment and already have an older son who doesn't talk much (all he really does is talk to his dad, or watch basketball) but maybe I could sleep on the couch. Dad's friend is an engineer at Cisco, my dad helped him get hired, except my dad says "The -namegoeshere- at work is nowhere near as great as the -namegoeshere- I know." Very cheesy, but I guess my father knows best, since they are good friends. And then my dad's friend's wife is a friendly person who likes to cook. Plus, their family wanted to get a cat if they can find the right cat for them. So this is my best chance to get a cat (since you usually can't have a dog in an apartment, and my mom doesn't like dogs). Perhaps I should consider being adopted.

Labels: adoption, again, architect, bike, blog, comparison, family, goodbye, hawaii, house, imeem, meet, music, open house, phar lap drive, playlist, pokemon, short, slope, speakers

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