Secret might not be the right word in this case, seeing as I see bees in public places like near the post office and at schools.

I just felt like using this title. I once read a book called The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. (Unfortunately, I can't quite remember how the ending went because it was a few years ago. I guess if you read a lot of books and if you get distracted by daily life, it's easy to forget the specifics of books you've read.) Apparently there's a movie now, too.

Some time back, I was at the place I usually spend my brunch break at school, when it seemed that a few people were looking at something. I heard someone say, "Oh no! You've killed it!" so I went over to investigate. It was a very weak-looking bee on the ground. It was still alive, but it was unable to fly and grew more and more pitiful until it couldn't even bother to twitch a leg. One of my friends and I tried to bring it back to life, and transported it using a stick to a leaf. It seemed like the bee was unable to hold on to the leaf - it slipped downward little by little, and we became fearful that it would tumble in to the bushes, never to be seen again. But it seemed to regain some semblance of life and started to move a little.

We tried to put it on a flowering tree, but the bee was not interested and fell onto the ground. Then another girl came along, seemingly out of nowhere, and picked up the bee with her hands. The bee seemed to be much more energetic upon being touched by a human and began to move actively. The girl started to walk off, so we followed her to the grass field, where she set the bee down on the grass.

Today I came across another bee, though it was not so close to death as the one I had seen previously. It was still moving along, though it seemed to also be unable to fly. My friends and I tried to get it interested in a flower, but the bee was not interested. It would turn and change directions every time we shoved the flowers in its face. We also tried leaves and sticks but the bee would fall off every time we tried to move it from one place to another. One time it seemed as though we had been successful, as the bee was finally displaying interest in the flowers, but then the bee fell off again. My friend insisted on handing whatever stick or leaf the bee was climbing on to me because she feared the bee would sting her. I think it's fine as long as the bee is unable to move quickly and if you avoid the rear end of the bee. After seeing the girl from before handle a bee, and as they seemed to get along quite well, I am less fearful of bees (at least, bees that are walking on the ground, not the very active bees flying about at the speed of light).

I am hoping to use such logic to convince my mother to let me have a dog. If you are not familiar with something, it is not unusual to be fearful of it. In fact, I was intimidated by dogs, but I've met several of them and realized there is nothing to worry about (except for perhaps abused dogs and dogs with rabies). I've petted dogs and been licked by them and they have not bitten me. Be sure to pay attention to body language of animals, though...If a dog is growling at you, it's best to keep away from it.

My mother hasn't really been around dogs, and she dislikes them. I think it also has to do with my grandma getting bitten by a dog. I wish my mother would give dogs a chance and spend some time with them. She might feel more kindly towards them if she'd only interact with them a little. (If she still dislikes dogs after that, then I can't hold it against her.) My mom continues to say that I can have a dog...When I'm a responsible adult. That will still be quite a few years away. And I'm not patient. Especially when I could die anytime and lose my chance forever.

Labels: bees, bite, book, chance, danger, death, dog, family, fear, ground, humans, insects, interact, life, safety, sting, stubborn, the secret life of bees, transportation, wish

Do not be alarmed. The sky is not falling. Your hair is not on fire. Your family and friends are all alive and well. The world is not ending.

The running that I am referring to here is not running for survival, but as part of a chosen lifestyle.

Judging from what I am hearing and seeing at my school, being a teacher can be a really great job. Sure, you might catch colds from the kids, have to deal with rude and overly talkative children, and complain about not being paid as much as you deserve, but teaching has its perks, too. You receive pension when you're retired, and you can go to school with your kids, if you're like my math teacher (his kids are in middle school right now, so he gets to go to school and leave school with them!). You also get to watch kids grow up and have a hand in how they turn out. It must be really cool seeing your students come back many years later, mature and successful.

The PE teachers have a nice time. They can be outside in the fresh air and have less grading to do than other teachers, but they are paid the same. They can exercise if they feel like it or they can just stand and order the kids to do something. And I don't think you would normally have to work overtime. (My parents still do work at home after they get back at work. I think it's more lax if you're a PE teacher.)

I heard that one of the PE teachers injured his Achilles tendon and it was driving him crazy because he couldn't run. I'm very fearful of getting my Achilles tendon hurt because of how important it is - you could be out for a year, depending on how bad the injury is. It's pretty important in walking and running. It was already bad enough those times I sprained my ankle and kept getting left behind when I tried to run in PE.

I just really wish I could live the active lifestyle. Even the non PE teachers have the chance to pursue athletic hobbies. One time, during PE class, I saw my history teacher jogging on the track. Maybe it was his prep period and he didn't have anything to do so he decided to enjoy the nice weather. I wish I could be as lucky as him, doing a job that I like and also doing one of my hobbies at work.

I am sad about going to high school because I don't think I'll be able to take PE every year. I know I will take it for at least two years, one time in 9th grade, and the other not determined yet. I really want to take PE every year because I fear I will not exercise enough without it. But I don't know if I can. We can only take a certain amount of classes. And it really saddens me.

Labels: achilles tendon, classes, family, health, high school, hobbies, injury, jealousy, job, life, lifestyle, mature, overtime, PE class, pros and cons, running, school, teacher, time, wish

That is what the city of Vancouver was described as. Last night was the opening ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Vancouver is apparently one of the most populated places that far north. I have visited Vancouver once in the past, years back, when my family was visiting my dad's friend's family. I can't remember that much about it anymore. I guess I was too young back then to appreciate the beauty of Canada anyways. I'd like to visit Canada again, but I'm not sure when I'll get a good opportunity.

My memories of that time are really quite hazy because I thought I had visited a tower in Vancouver. However, that had happened in Seattle, not Vancouver. I remember that my family was going to eat lunch in the restaurant of the tower (Space Needle, I believe it was called) but there was too long of a waiting time so instead we went to a small shop where I bought a bagel. It was a good bagel, I recall.

Well, I should probably get back to the subject of the Olympics before I lose my thought process. I watched the people representing each country walk in. Everything was announced in French first, then English, which I was pleased by. There aren't a lot of countries interested in the Winter Olympics compared to the Summer Olympics, but I'm still excited by it.

I noticed that some countries seemed to have a lot of people, like Russia, Germany, the USA, Japan, Canada (but of course, they're the hosts!), and so on. On the other hand, some countries only had one or two athletes. And India, despite having such a huge population, still had very few athletes (though there was a decent crowd for China). Is India not that good at sports or something? D: I do hear that they play cricket, though. But that's not really a winter sport.

I'd really like to go the Olympics myself sometime. Particularly the Summer Olympics. It's true, you can easily watch from the comfort of your home, and the camera can get closer to the people than you would be able to from your seat in the actual stadiums, but it would be nice to really be there. To really see and hear everything for yourself and to be able to look wherever you want, not just what the camera shows you. And to really be able to wave back at the athletes as they come walking out.

You know, I've dreamed of myself doing athletic things like skating or running. But I wonder if I'd ever be able to achieve such a thing.

I once said that I was interested in becoming a janitor to my parents. I think being a janitor is a noble job. You keep schools and other public places clean, even though it's hard work that must constantly be done and not necessarily for a great amount of pay. In fact, I would rather be a janitor than a soldier. A soldier is a noble job too. But I think sometimes when you get out there, and kill innocent people, and see people's fear, and be horrified by death and starvation and disease, it wouldn't seem so spiffy. I would think, "Is it really worth it for the 'great good' to be doing this? People are really, really suffering."

My father told me that he didn't think I could be a janitor because I didn't have the stamina. And he even went so far as to say that my talents would be wasted if I became a janitor. That may be so, but it was discouraging to me. I really hate to be told what I can't do. People's expectations and words can really build fences around you, fences that are barbed and would injure you terribly to climb over. But I guess that's part of what makes it exciting to chase your dreams. It's showing people that you can do things no one thought you could ever do and overcoming challenges to become a better person that is so great, kind of like people who are addicted to getting adrenaline rushes... I want to do something amazing, to leave my mark on the world, or to at least feel a sense of self-accomplishment. I think just having a small taste of victory would be enough to make me feel like life was worth living. Perhaps being a janitor doesn't seem like the most stunning, life-changing job, but you never know. One of my school janitors was able to run a 4:25 mile, back in the day. I could write a book about my experiences. I could start changes in the school The possibilities are endless. How else can a mountain be made out of a molehill?

Labels: aiming high, bagel, canada, challenge, countries, dreams, glory, hard work, india, janitor, limits, memories, mountain, olympics, potential, seattle, soldiers, vancouver, winter, wish

TODAY'S ICON BROUGHT TO YOU BY: mermaidsss.blog.cz

It's not quite the middle of November currently, but it isn't the middle of autumn anymore, and it's certainly not the middle of the summer. So I had to put November in, to make this title feasible.

On Tuesday night, I had a dream. I hadn't been remembering my dreams for a while, so it certainly did catch my attention. The dream's beginning, unfortunately, I seem to have forgotten. However, after a certain point, I do remember the dream... Earlier, I had seen a very nice dog, and I wanted to keep it, but my dad had said I couldn't. Then, I remember I was at my school, or at least a place that looked like my school. I noticed an automobile, a bit like an ice cream truck or something (though I have never actually seen an ice cream truck) coming. In the car were two people, and one of them appeared Asian. For some reason I thought it was one of my favorite musicians, Yuuki Aira, but it wasn't, much to my disappointment. The two women got out of the car and started running down the sidewalk in my school, pushing strollers. Then the one who I mistook for Yuuki Aira bent down to do something, tie her shoelace or whatever, and then I noticed the dog I had seen earlier. It was on the other side of the sidewalk (I was standing on the grass field at the time). The dog was near some bushes. (Which is weird, there are no bushes in that part of the school) So I went over and hugged the dog. My parents were not around to spoil it. But then the two women were getting away. For some reason I felt like I had to chase them. My dad popped out from some place or another (I know he was there but I never saw his face) and we both got onto bikes. I had to hold the dog too since I was taking it with me. We started peddling to follow the women. We went onto a highway. For some reason our bikes went 100 miles an hour. I recall being worried about getting in trouble for speeding. We went pretty far and I think for some reason I was in Palo Alto, pretty close to Stanford University. (Then I woke up.)

It was a very random dream. I don't really know if there was any meaning to it. But I do suspect my brain could be reminding me of my desire to have a dog. I have been asking to have one for years and years. My mother once said (jokingly perhaps?) that if I quit using the computer except for school research, then I could have a dog, assuming I would feed it and walk it and things like that. Back then I was very reluctant to actually go through with a deal like that, so I decided I would have to survive without a dog for a while longer. Now that the things that previously interested me are either nonexistent or I don't have time for them, I'm started to consider it again. I wonder if I would really be able to have a dog, though. What if it's just a ploy to get me off the computer?

My father just told me about someone else he knows who had a daughter who kept asking for a dog. The father finally said, "Look, if you raise a hamster for a year, and you clean its cage and take care of it, then we will let you have a dog." They got her a hamster...She cleaned the cage once, and never again. So her father said, "Then you can't have a dog, unless you prove yourself responsible enough." The girl said in response, "If it were a dog, then I would take care of it!" Some folks like their hamsters, but a hamster is nothing like a dog. (For one thing, hamsters, unfortunately, can only live a year or two, whereas dogs can live to the double digits depending on their size) Still, I know, a dog is a living being, and if you can't take of him/her, that's going to be a problem.

I've been thinking lately if I should write some other stories. I had started to write a story because I had some ideas of things I wanted to write about, but since those ideas would take place a lot later in the story (imagining that the story is a hundred pages or more! Very long. I intend to write a book someday), my interest kind of tapered off. Maybe I should write about myself. I can write about myself on my blog, but everyone has their secrets, and you know, you can't be exposing things on the Internet. You never know who's out there. It's like a commercial I saw once, "The Internet is like the ocean. Sometimes it can be safe and other times it can be very dangerous," or something like that.

Labels: a midsummer night's dream, bike, chase, computer, dog, dream, hamster, highway, internet, november, palo alto, responsibility, sacrifice, stanford, story, stroller, trial, truck, wish, yuuki aira

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