Sadly, I'm not talking about Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy, sorry to disappoint you video gamers out there. XD The weather's been gloomy the last two days, just a grey veil of clouds that blocks the sunlight. I don't like days like that. I think it should either rain, snow, or go back to being blue skies with my favorite kinds of clouds - the voluminous ones with clear edges, light parts and dark parts.

I guess it reflects my mood. I was feeling pretty melancholy yesterday, partially because it is now Finals season, and there's a lot to do, studying and a speech, but I just don't feel like doing it. (I find myself growing lazier and lazier the longer this year goes on. For a while I was actually doing well - I was actually socializing, getting a somewhat decent amount of sleep, was scoring high on my exams - but I've fallen back into a slump.) Or it could be a natural fluctuation in mood.

What's really troubling me, though, is that I'm terrible at dealing with people. It always seems that after I've been friends with someone for a couple of years, I start to notice a lot more of their faults (or is that just a natural consequence from their aging?) and I wonder if that's why my relationships with other people always start to deteriorate. Or maybe it's more because I don't like to make the first move. I might not say hello even if I see someone I know, as I prefer the other person to greet me first, like what happened yesterday. I was helping a classmate with some homework, and we happened to be sitting at a place where a group of friends meets at brunch. I saw two of my friends, though we didn't really say hello to each other. I told my classmate that I had to go and left. Later, at PE, one of my friends, who I hadn't spoken with a brunch, asked why I had left without saying anything. I was rather awkward and defensive when I answered, because at the time, I had reasoned, There's no need to say goodbye to someone you hadn't even said hello to, is there? I wasn't there to socialize, I was there to try and help someone with homework. Maybe it would've been better if I had said something, but
then again, isn't that something I usually do? Just go off without saying anything? Still not used to it by now?

Labels: communication, depression, family, fate stay night, finals, forever alone, friends, mood, pattern, princess lover, problems, relationship, season, strife, talking

Lately my father has been watching baseball instead of golf. He usually watches golf, but since it's almost winter, the golf season is over (I mean, you can't really play in the snow, and besides it's harder to get a cold golf ball to go far than it is to get a warm golf ball, if those Comcast Sports Science videos were worth anything) and the only places they could play would be, like, Hawaii or something. So now, since it's currently still baseball season, my father has turned his attention to that sport.

This means that there are even more similarities between my father and my history teacher than ever before! D: Now both of them are baseball fans who are/were teachers (after all, my dad used to teach, and he might be better at that than being an engineer, seeing as he likes to talk =_=;; ) and both of them often get distracted by their computers. (When my dad is on the computer, if I try to talk to him, he probably won't hear me...) In fact, just the other day I saw my dad going on this website he likes. He was doing some virtual gardening, pulling up weeds with his mouse cursor and stuff. And then he put some food in this place where he keeps his animals. He has weird animals like peacocks. Looks like my dad is a zookeeper now.

The other day, in science class, we watched an interesting video from the History Channel. It was about great engineering disasters, and we got to watch planes blow up and dams break. What I thought was the funniest (I know, it's not funny if people get injured or whatever, but in this one no one died, except there was a car on the bridge) was this bridge in Washington. When it was windy, the bridge would roll about. Search for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge on Youtube if you want to see what it's like. Anyhow, the bridge collapsed in a wind storm, unfortunately.

My mom and I like a kind of bread sold at some Chinese bakeries called a "polo bun" (it's pronounced differently than that, though). It's sweet tasting and sort of bumpy. It looks kind of like a melon bun, which is something I saw in the anime Shakugan no Shana. I've always wondered if they are the same thing or not. I've been wondering a long time, so if anyone's eating a melon bun, let me know. D:

Weather is something I mention occasionally in this blog, and so I'm talking about it today, too. Not long ago, it was really hot outside, but now it's cold and my hands are freezing while I type this. I really hate it when the weather keeps changing. I heard that it was hot right now in Shanghai from my grandparents. Is this one of the natural weather cycles of the Earth, or is this caused by global warming, I wonder? There are still people who say that global warming doesn't exist, or that it's being offset by the natural ice ages of the Earth anyway. (But then again, we haven't had an Ice Age for a while...It's suspicious.)

Sigh...I had to switch cell phones. We're changing from Sprint to AT&T because my mom's friend was laid off. Because of him, we were able to get a discount on the phone service, but since he's not working there anymore, we won't have the discount any longer. My mom decided to swap to AT&T since it is cheaper and she says that people who used AT&T say it works fine. Still, I do miss my old cell phone. This would be my third one now and I hardly know how to use it... Plus, I feel like it's bad for the environment, getting new cell phones. I mean, it takes energy and resources to make a cell phone, after all.

Labels: animals, baseball, bun, cell phone, gardening, golf, season, similar, sports, tacoma narrows, teacher, virtual, weather

When I was young, back in elementary school, the teachers taught me that March could arrive with two kinds of weather...A lion (bad weather) or a lamb (nice weather). I suddenly thought of how some Twilight fans keep spouting the phrase "And the lion fell in love with the lamb" what with Edward being the lion, Bella being the lamb, or whatever. I was told that Stephenie Meyer got the inspiration for her Twilight books from a dream she had. I thought maybe she had a dream about springtime, and then thought of the lion/lamb idea.

My grandmother is sick too despite practically being across the world. I guess it's because the weather is suddenly so much warmer and it is springtime. I can hardly remember how cold it was just a month ago. The tulips in my backyard are blooming now, so it is very nice to look out on them while sitting at the dining table. Most of them are red, but one of them is pink. I wanted to take a picture of them but in the afternoon they started closing their petals. I panicked and thought they would be dead tomorrow, but my mom assured me that they just close up for the night and open once more in the morning. I hope she's right, since I want to take a picture before they're gone. (People in California don't seem to grow tulips much, maybe the climate or soil here isn't right for it. In Washington D.C., you'll see tons of tulips, in front of hotels, business buildings, and even planted around statues of Civil War generals. That's all well and good, but seeing tulips everywhere makes you get bored of them. It's better over here since not everyone grows tulips.)

Today I went to the library. I had to return a lot of books, so I couldn't resist checking out some new ones. I tried to go to the second floor of the library to tell my parents I was done, but I had trouble getting up the stairs and even dropped my books twice. Luckily they did not fall all the way down, so I could pick them up and keep going. Either my sickness is putting a damper on my health or I really need to see a doctor.

Then my family went to a mall near their offices. My mom bought a shirt from a place called Charlotte Russe (some of the stuff looks alright but some of the stuff is scary. The music is a bit loud. They have shoes you can try on, though). Maybe I won't go shopping for a long time since nowadays I don't even buy anything. Besides, I'm trying to save money. It's not going so well since I can't get hired by Jamba Juice or Target yet, and I only have $12 allowance each month, and most of my teeth have fallen out by now. Oh well, it's better than nothing. I let my money sit and collect dust in real life AND in computer games/web sites.

I would've posted my blog a lot earlier but then something really, really stupid happened. So I started typing this post a pretty long time ago, but I took a break from the computer and went off to do something else. Then I came back and typed the rest of the post. I tried to publish it, but it turned out during the time I was gone Blogger had logged me out. So I had to log back in. And then all my text was gone. I had to spend a long time typing it again. I'm still seething, since this isn't the first time a similar thing happened to me.

Labels: blah, blog, books, income, library, mall, march, money, season, sick, spring, stairway, tulips, twilight, washington D.C., weather

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