This past Monday was my first day back at school. It wouldn't have been much of a concern normally, but this time I was moving up to high school for the first time. I really had no idea what to expect. I knew it would be more tiring, considering that more is expected of a student as they age (and also seeing that I have 7 classes, not 6, this year), but I certainly had not expected it to be THAT bad.

I didn't really take any summer classes this year, nor was I particularly diligent about my studies at home. I did do some work in my geometry textbook, took an SAT practice test, and looked over some vocab cards, but I pretty much didn't touch algebra at all over the summer, and I quickly came to regret it. I couldn't remember much of the operations that had come so easily to me before. I was really frustrated and also angry at myself. I really shouldn't have assumed that I would still remember something that I learned a year or two ago. I thought it was like being able to swim, or ride a bike, that you wouldn't forget it quickly. Boy, was I wrong.

I expected that I would have less free time than before, but that I would at least be able to go on a few websites for a while. Maybe about twenty minutes a day for that. But I found that if I spent time doing things besides homework, I might not finish my homework until past 9 pm, and sometimes even later. I have to focus on my homework without the distractions of the computer or it simply won't get done. The teachers often assign a lot of homework but only give one day to finish it. There hasn't been all that much teaching going on, either. I know that I am expected to become independent eventually and that leaving more work for us to do on our own is a step on the way to that, but I miss having clearer instructions from the teachers and actually getting a reasonable time period to finish homework.

I wonder if perhaps I am the only one, or one of few, who is struggling with it. I guess I'm not used to efficiency (or maybe I never had enough time management skills to begin with) after a summer of relaxation and slacking off. It wasn't until the weekend that I found I had the chance to resume my normal activities on the Internet. And even then I feel uneasy while I am taking such breaks because I feel like I ought to be studying or getting ahead on homework (which I really don't feel like doing). I figure I'll probably get used to it, but I still feel disheartened thinking about the time I still have left in high school. There are still four years to go, and I've already become a hermit who rarely socializes but instead spends lunch, brunch, any free moments in class, and the whole evening doing homework. I'm hoping that either the workload will be lessened or that I'll develop speed as the year goes on (though the former doesn't seem likely, so I suppose I have to hope that I'll learn to manage my time).

Labels: algebra, break, clarity, first day, forget, high school, homework, lazy, socialization, struggle, summer, time management

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