Since the beginning of this school year, I've taken to studying while playing piano so that I can save time. One of my teachers has said time and time again that students shouldn't multitask, but I feel like playing piano and reading information at the same time helps me to think better. Sometimes I come up with good ideas while I'm practicing piano, so I like to keep my binders propped up on the stand that you're supposed to put the piano sheet music on. Problem is, when I put pencils on there too, they have a tendency to roll off or get knocked off.

The pencils fall into this crevice between the cover for the piano keys and the main structure of the piano. I can never get them out after they've fallen in, so I had no idea for a long time what had become of my pencils. (I assumed that at least they hadn't broken the piano, since it still seems to work fine.) It was only recently, when I happened to drop another pencil in there, that I made a bigger effort to try and get into it. I saw where the pencils had fallen, but I can't reach it because my hand is not small enough anymore (ironic, since my hand is quite small, it hasn't grown for several years, and I had thought I would be able to fit it). And we don't have anything that is both thin, flexible, and hard that we can grab the pencils with and pull them out. I wonder if they'll stay in the piano forever. Perhaps someday someone else will come to own this piano, and they'll open it up and see those pencils inside. Something that was once of not much importance could become artifacts for future generations to find.

But there are more treasures than just objects to be found in the piano. Learning to play piano is frustrating in the beginning, and it can be painful in the end too (if your hands were somehow made unable to play piano in the future). I really think, though, that there's a lot to be said for playing a musical instrument. You will have to practice a lot. You can't give up as soon as you think "I can't do this, I'm just not good at it." I think that it's good to have something to strive for, to work towards perfection. Perfection may not exist, but you can keep improving yourself and get as close to it as possible. And your goal when you're playing an instrument may not be the same as mine or someone else's. What I hope to do is play beautifully, and to show my emotions through the music. I don't know if I've reached that stage or if I ever will. But I'll keep trying. I don't want to let go of the piano. Not the way I did with the flute and cello. I can't play either of them anymore.

I don't think you ought to keep playing an instrument if you really don't enjoy it, though. There is no way to be certain that you won't eventually come to like it, but if you want to quit, go ahead. Even if you come to regret it later, it ought to be your own choice. I remember meeting a girl who said she didn't really like to play piano, but her mom made her do it. Why? Because the mother think her daughter will be embarrassed later when she's the only one amongst her friends who can't play the piano. It's fine to be proud of your musical skills as long as that isn't the reason you're playing... I really don't think you ought to play an instrument for the sake of pride. Play because you enjoy, play because other people enjoy it, play to relieve stress, play because you want to get better at it...But please, don't play just to save yourself embarrassment.

Labels: artifacts, bad habit, choice, enjoy, fall, future, giving up, ideas, learning, lost, motives, multitasking, music, pencil, piano, pride, struggle, studying, treasure

This past Monday was my first day back at school. It wouldn't have been much of a concern normally, but this time I was moving up to high school for the first time. I really had no idea what to expect. I knew it would be more tiring, considering that more is expected of a student as they age (and also seeing that I have 7 classes, not 6, this year), but I certainly had not expected it to be THAT bad.

I didn't really take any summer classes this year, nor was I particularly diligent about my studies at home. I did do some work in my geometry textbook, took an SAT practice test, and looked over some vocab cards, but I pretty much didn't touch algebra at all over the summer, and I quickly came to regret it. I couldn't remember much of the operations that had come so easily to me before. I was really frustrated and also angry at myself. I really shouldn't have assumed that I would still remember something that I learned a year or two ago. I thought it was like being able to swim, or ride a bike, that you wouldn't forget it quickly. Boy, was I wrong.

I expected that I would have less free time than before, but that I would at least be able to go on a few websites for a while. Maybe about twenty minutes a day for that. But I found that if I spent time doing things besides homework, I might not finish my homework until past 9 pm, and sometimes even later. I have to focus on my homework without the distractions of the computer or it simply won't get done. The teachers often assign a lot of homework but only give one day to finish it. There hasn't been all that much teaching going on, either. I know that I am expected to become independent eventually and that leaving more work for us to do on our own is a step on the way to that, but I miss having clearer instructions from the teachers and actually getting a reasonable time period to finish homework.

I wonder if perhaps I am the only one, or one of few, who is struggling with it. I guess I'm not used to efficiency (or maybe I never had enough time management skills to begin with) after a summer of relaxation and slacking off. It wasn't until the weekend that I found I had the chance to resume my normal activities on the Internet. And even then I feel uneasy while I am taking such breaks because I feel like I ought to be studying or getting ahead on homework (which I really don't feel like doing). I figure I'll probably get used to it, but I still feel disheartened thinking about the time I still have left in high school. There are still four years to go, and I've already become a hermit who rarely socializes but instead spends lunch, brunch, any free moments in class, and the whole evening doing homework. I'm hoping that either the workload will be lessened or that I'll develop speed as the year goes on (though the former doesn't seem likely, so I suppose I have to hope that I'll learn to manage my time).

Labels: algebra, break, clarity, first day, forget, high school, homework, lazy, socialization, struggle, summer, time management

I was just reading the February 2010 edition of Reader's Digest magazine. (Apparently we only received this issue recently, which is odd. I mean, it's long past February now. I guess they forgot to send it to us before.) This time the magazine had a focus on ways to lose weight and the attitudes of people in various countries about being fat.

Regarding France, many families eat together every night, much more than the percentage in the USA out of people surveyed. And the meals in France are quite long. My French teacher told us that the lunchtime at French schools is about two hours long, so school ends late, like 5:00 pm or so. It's such a long lunch that you might even be able to go home and take a nap (just as long as you got up in time to return to school).

Actually, the longer the meal, the less you eat, given that you talk to someone while eating. If you're holding a conversation while eating, then you don't eat as quickly, compared to when you're focused on eating (as I tend to be). That pretty much explains why eating lunch or dinner seems to take so much longer when my parents are eating with their friends.

In this way, you end up not eating as much even though you supposedly would be spending more time talking. By talking, you have to slow down your eating (unless you eat and talk at the same time, which is disgusting and can also result in choking or food coming out). It's a good strategy, but it does take up time, which is a valuable resource that is impossible to replace.

But the opposite - that less is more - is also true, when it comes to swimming pools. Blackberry Farm, a place of recreation in my town, has its pool open during the warmer months. There's a discount on Sunday evenings (after 5:00 pm), I believe, so my mother and I went to the pool.

My mom had thought it wouldn't be crowded because she figured not many people would know about the pool, but she turned out to be wrong. It was quite crowded. Still, we figured that since we bothered to come we should go and swim. I suppose that less money needed to go swimming means more people flock to the pool.

The deepest section, 6 feet deep, was the one with the least amount of people. (This is an instance of "more is less" - the deeper the water, the smaller the amount of people in it.) The shallower sections were mostly occupied by parents teaching their children to swim.

It brought back my memories of the time when I was still struggling with swimming. My mom and I would go to the YMCA pool because we used to have a membership there. My mom would tell me to do four paces of Freestyle or something like that. It had been difficult for me then. Sometimes I choked on water and became very upset. I used to resent swimming. I feared water. Even showering was something I disliked because I might get water in my eyes. Now I don't fear the pool anymore. I guess the toils and trouble turned out to be worth it.

Labels: conversation, deep, fear, fight, france, lunch, magazine, meal, pool, readers digest, shower, struggle, swimming, time, trick, water, weight, YMCA

Soon I'll be going on a school trip to Yosemite, where we will spend our days hiking and writing in our "journals". There's a lot of things that I needed to buy for this trip, because I'm not much of an outdoorsman. In fact, I've never really been camping out in a tent, seeing as my mom prefers civilization (and I guess I would really miss indoor plumbing, myself). But it'd still be nice to just try it, you know? For the sake of having that experience. It's not good to judge something you don't understand.

There's a whole lot of things that I needed to buy for Yosemite, including...
- A sleeping bag (I almost never sleep at other people's houses)
- Hiking boots
- Waterproof pants
- Waterproof jacket
- Snow gaiters (well, I guess I don't REALLY need them, but they're useful to have. They're like half pant legs that you can put on.)

There's probably a few more things that I have forgotten to mention. But anyways, I'll probably never use most of the things I bought for Yosemite after I come back. We don't really go hiking much in the first place (probably because I didn't like to do it...Too hot outside, I usually burned up my energy in the beginning through running, etc. Not that it isn't nice once in a while. In science camp back in fifth grade, we had the chance to hike alone, and it was really relaxing).

One of the things we needed to get was a bandana. Apparently, when we're out hiking, we'll stop to eat lunch, and we'll be using the bandanas as "plates" for our food. I set to thinking about bandanas.

Bandanas seem to have many uses. They can be used as hankerchiefs if you have allergies, you can wear them to look sort of like a cowboy (and you could also wear it if you're sick or people around you are sick as a kind of mask), you could put them on your head...I'm not sure if people usually do this, but somehow or other I got the notion that people who have gone through chemotherapy and thus lost their hair tend to wear bandanas to cover their heads.

To me, this gives the bandana a lot of meaning. The bandana is a sign of struggle, showing the battle between people and cancer and their fight to survive. It is a visible symbol of pain, fear, and desperation. At the same time, bandanas also show hope - a little hope that a person will pull through, fight off the cancer, and be able to resume living their life again. Maybe things will never be the same. Perhaps the scars, physical and mental, will always be there. But it's something precious, getting to have a second chance.

Bandanas are pretty cheap to get, but they're not necessarily useless. I hope you're paying attention things and what kind of purpose they really serve. I guess that's what teachers mean when they're saying, "You should ask under the surface questions!" You should still pay attention at school, even if you find it boring, because you never know, something important might be said.

My history teacher sometimes tells us stories, such as about having to transport a cake, being a valet, gambling in Las Vegas, and so on. He says we should pay attention since there is something to be learned from his stories; they're not just for entertainment. I think I might want to be a teacher sometime.

Here are some of my possible careers:
- Writer (well, that may have to be just something I do in my free time, what with the "starving artists" thing)
- Photographer (again, only if I can make a living off of it. Nowadays lots of people have huge Nikon or Canon black cameras)
- Interior designer or travel show host (too bad those jobs aren't that common)
- Ice cream shop owner (or some other kind of shop, with yummy food XD)
- Fashion designer (it'd be fun to come up with things, and I'd like to steer people away from those really low colors and tight clothing. x_x )

Labels: bandana, camping, cancer, career, chance, chemotherapy, future, hiking, hope, learn, outdoor, science camp, shopping, sign, significance, struggle, symbol, trip, useful, yosemite

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