Since the beginning of this school year, I've taken to studying while playing piano so that I can save time. One of my teachers has said time and time again that students shouldn't multitask, but I feel like playing piano and reading information at the same time helps me to think better. Sometimes I come up with good ideas while I'm practicing piano, so I like to keep my binders propped up on the stand that you're supposed to put the piano sheet music on. Problem is, when I put pencils on there too, they have a tendency to roll off or get knocked off.

The pencils fall into this crevice between the cover for the piano keys and the main structure of the piano. I can never get them out after they've fallen in, so I had no idea for a long time what had become of my pencils. (I assumed that at least they hadn't broken the piano, since it still seems to work fine.) It was only recently, when I happened to drop another pencil in there, that I made a bigger effort to try and get into it. I saw where the pencils had fallen, but I can't reach it because my hand is not small enough anymore (ironic, since my hand is quite small, it hasn't grown for several years, and I had thought I would be able to fit it). And we don't have anything that is both thin, flexible, and hard that we can grab the pencils with and pull them out. I wonder if they'll stay in the piano forever. Perhaps someday someone else will come to own this piano, and they'll open it up and see those pencils inside. Something that was once of not much importance could become artifacts for future generations to find.

But there are more treasures than just objects to be found in the piano. Learning to play piano is frustrating in the beginning, and it can be painful in the end too (if your hands were somehow made unable to play piano in the future). I really think, though, that there's a lot to be said for playing a musical instrument. You will have to practice a lot. You can't give up as soon as you think "I can't do this, I'm just not good at it." I think that it's good to have something to strive for, to work towards perfection. Perfection may not exist, but you can keep improving yourself and get as close to it as possible. And your goal when you're playing an instrument may not be the same as mine or someone else's. What I hope to do is play beautifully, and to show my emotions through the music. I don't know if I've reached that stage or if I ever will. But I'll keep trying. I don't want to let go of the piano. Not the way I did with the flute and cello. I can't play either of them anymore.

I don't think you ought to keep playing an instrument if you really don't enjoy it, though. There is no way to be certain that you won't eventually come to like it, but if you want to quit, go ahead. Even if you come to regret it later, it ought to be your own choice. I remember meeting a girl who said she didn't really like to play piano, but her mom made her do it. Why? Because the mother think her daughter will be embarrassed later when she's the only one amongst her friends who can't play the piano. It's fine to be proud of your musical skills as long as that isn't the reason you're playing... I really don't think you ought to play an instrument for the sake of pride. Play because you enjoy, play because other people enjoy it, play to relieve stress, play because you want to get better at it...But please, don't play just to save yourself embarrassment.

Labels: artifacts, bad habit, choice, enjoy, fall, future, giving up, ideas, learning, lost, motives, multitasking, music, pencil, piano, pride, struggle, studying, treasure

I know, my previous post, "Blood is Thicker than Water", also mentions thickness, but really, this title is fitting, so I am using it nevertheless.

Not that long ago, one of my pencils disappeared. I had only started using it recently. It wasn't really a great pencil - in fact, it was a Disney Princess pencil featuring Belle from Beauty and the Best - but I hate to lose pencils since they go to waste. I was giving up on finding it when I noticed a pencil on top of a supermarket flyer. It was the very pencil I thought I had lost. And my dad doesn't go around circling what he wants to buy on supermarket flyers, so that left one culprit - my mother.

This isn't the first time she took a pencil when she saw it lying around. I found two pencils of mine which I also thought I had lost in the room of our house that is her home office. I just wish she would ask me before she uses them. It's annoying, thinking that I've lost pencils when in reality they're hanging around the house, all because my mom wanted to borrow them for some reason or another. I guess she thought I would be annoyed if she had to keep asking me to lend her pencils, but still, having my writing utensils disappear mysteriously is really not convenient.

What really bothers me the most, though, is when people borrow things from me and don't return them. It happened in elementary school - I lent a girl my scissors and I asked for them back, but she didn't even remember having borrowed them. I eventually found them in the classroom. Then I went on a trip to a bowling alley with my class and a classmate wanted to buy a drink, so he borrowed some money for it. He never repaid the money (I don't know whether he would remember after all these years anyways).

And I had a repeat of the incident I mentioned about the scissors. In French class, we were making sachets in December. Sachets are basically little pouches with something scented in them (like potpourri). These can be left someplace, like in your clothes drawers, to make things smell better. A classmate borrowed my scissors to cut string, but she didn't return them. The next day, I asked her if she had my scissors, but she didn't seem to remember that (just like that girl a few years back). So I had to go into the classroom scissors box to find mine.

I wonder if I should just stop lending things to people. It's kind of a lose-lose situation. If you lend something and it gets returned, that's the one good outcome. But if you lend it and it gets lost, that's bad for you, and you'll lose trust in other people. And if you don't lend something, then people will think of you as stingy, since you have things but don't want to share them. (Sharing is caring, so goes the saying) Maybe I should require people to give me a compensation for lending which will be returned to them when they return what they borrowed. (Like how my science teacher will lend you a pen if you give her one of your shoes. That way you won't forget to return it, unless you want to hop around all day on one foot.)

I guess there's really no perfect solution to anything, though. You can choose to make yourself happy or you can choose to make other people happy...(You're lucky if it's the same thing)

That reminds me of something Thomas Jefferson apparently said. Because of Jay's Treaty (look it up, like on Wikipedia or something) France felt like the USA was taking Britain's side, so the US needed to repair its relationship with France. John Adams, the president at that time, asked his vice president, Thomas Jefferson, to go to France and work things out. Jefferson would have been a good choice because he was a Republican (Republicans at that time were supporters of France, whereas the Federalist Party supported England), and Jefferson was a respected man. However, he refused. Adams got upset, saying, "Aren't we supposed to be friends?" and "But you're the vice president!" and probably also said something about how he should go because he is vice president and not let the fact that he is the Republic party leader be an influence. But Jefferson said, regarding the role of vice president and the role of head of Republicans, "They are one and the same."

George Washington had said that political parties were bad, that they would cause unnecessary divisions and disagreements. Politics in general seems to be quite a mess sometimes. (No wonder my mom doesn't really like politics...) I mean, it got so bad one time that Aaron Burr, who was supposed to be Thomas Jefferson's vice president, actually shot Alexander Hamilton. (Hamilton had kind of convinced people to turn against Burr, thus making Jefferson president instead of Burr) And the US presidents end up with grey hair and wrinkles from their stressful job. I wonder what their true motive for getting into politics is, then. Do they hope to make a difference? Do they want prestige?

Labels: aaron burr, borrow, france, jay treaty, john adams, lost and found, money, motives, party, pencil, politics, president, republican, scissors, shoes, stress, supermarket, thief, thomas jefferson

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