I don't know, but I'm going to die of mental problems or physical problems. (Seeing as I am now sick due to stress and lack of sleep. It's really grating on my nerves and I've stopped paying attention in school. Also, it makes me have a short temper. And I got kind of rebellious. Today is supposed to be Bring Your Bed to School Day, so you can wear pajamas and bring a stuffed animal. My friend wants me to do it but I was really in a bad mood this morning so I changed my mind...I won't.)

I'm only sleeping a little each night. I fall asleep somewhere between 11 and midnight, then I wake up several times, and this time I couldn't get to sleep when it was 7 am? So I only got about seven hours of sleep total due to my waking up all the time. It's not that much less than what I should sleep, but this has been happening for days, maybe even a week, so I am extremely tired.

Not only that, but my mom is turning into a nag. (Well, she's been back for a week now, but still.) "Sydney, stop moving and go to sleep, idiot." "Stop bothering me. I need to work." "Shut up, Dad is concentrating on driving right now." "Eat your breakfast in the car! We'll be late!" "Wait until you're an adult." "I can't tell you. You don't understand." "NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT AROUND HIM." "Don't say that!" I can hear it echoing in my mind. I think I'm really going on insane.

And also, there's problems at home. A deal's already been made without me even getting to put my say in. And that could mean a dramatic change here. Now my future is unknown. Just for the sake of people I don't care about but my dad does. Nothing I can do, though. Nothing I could ever do.

I won't be surprised if you decide to quit reading this blog. Probably I'll be typing the usual stuff in the afternoon/evening. But I am tired of hiding what I really feel.

Labels: blah, blog, mental

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